What If
by srp2017
Summary: What if Mike had found his family at the beginning of Season 2, how would it affect him throughout the series and could he fix his marriage? Will span several seasons and be AU.
1. Chapter 1

This is an AU starting in Season 2, but it will span all 5 seasons. Basically, will be What if Mike had found his family at the beginning of Season 2. I truly think this is a loose thread from the series and that is the beauty of fanfiction! Any reviews are welcomed and appreciated.

 **What If**

Chapter 1

Mike and Tex had checked the safe zone at Deer Park with no luck. It seemed like it had been deserted in a hurry. Mike had collected up his family's belongings and decided to go to their house in Norfolk. He wasn't certain what the outcome would be, but he had to check.

Mike stood in front of his ranch style home. It had been a fixer upper and the first home he and Christine had owned. She had had all kinds of plans for it and Mike was handy enough to make it happen. Seeing it like it was, so desolate was a hard pill to swallow.

After a little conversation with Tex, Mike made his way in, not anticipating finding anyone. Christine's SUV wasn't in the drive and he figured his family was long gone. The house had a large basement that Mike had made into a family room, spare bedroom and bathroom. There was even a kitchenette set up for when Christine's mom visited. Mike checked the main floor, except for Lucas' room and then walked down the steps to the basement. When he got half-way down, he heard a shotgun racking and immediately positioned his weapon and reached the landing.

"Mike!" Christine shouted, and Mike immediately lowered his weapon. Christine did the same. Kaitlyn and Hannah both ran to Mike and he immediately pulled them into a hug, not focusing on Christine for a moment.

"Oh, girls." Mike said, kissing them both.

"We really missed you, Dad." Kaitlyn said.

"I missed you too." Mike said and finally looked at Christine. She had put the shotgun back down and had her arms crossed over her chest. They had not left on the best of terms and she had been incredibly angry at him when he had called from the Arctic. Would he be able to repair his marriage? And there was something different about her figure. She looked like she was pregnant.

"Girls, can you go in the bedroom and work on your schoolwork while I talk to your dad, please? Grandma will help." Christine asked. Mike gave both girls a kiss and they headed for the guestroom. Mike choose not to address the obvious pregnancy. There was a reason Christine hadn't mentioned it during their phone conversation.

"I went to Deer Park. Found your stuff but couldn't find you. I came here…to see. How…why are you in the basement?" Mike asked.

"We were hearing of some sort of faction, called the Immunes. I felt it would be better to come back here and isolate ourselves. The girls and I have stayed in the basement to make the house not look occupied. And its easier to heat and cool. I could also get to the backyard and check my garden without anyone realizing it. Its really dangerous out there and we are out of food. I wasn't sure what I was going to do." Christine admitted.

"You can't stay here. I will take you aboard the James. It is the safest option at this point and Tom won't mind. He has the kids and his dad on board." Mike told her.

"Mike…I…remember that last weekend before you refused the desk job in Miami, the kids had gone to Mom's; you and I had a stay-cation?" Christine asked.

"Yes." Mike answered simply. He knew he had to give Christine the chance to talk.

"Well, in short terms, you knocked me up, with twins. I assume they are doing okay. I haven't been to a doctor since I was about six weeks along. I really wasn't sure what I was going to do, and I didn't tell you because…I wasn't sure we were going to make it and I didn't want it to be any harder on you. I agree with going on the James, but I want Mom to go with us and I…do you have the ability to deliver twins on there?" Christine asked. She had always had a weird way of phrasing things, despite being a nurse.

"I fully intended on bringing your mom along and…hopefully this is over before. You're…five months along?" Mike asked.

"Yeah. There about. I can help in the sick bay to earn our keep and I'm sure Mom will be happy to do something." Christine said. Despite agreeing to go along, she was pretty distant.

"We will figure that out. Let's get you girls packed up. I have a man outside and I need to call Tom on the sat phone." Mike explained.

"Do you have anything to eat with you? The girls haven't eaten since yesterday and they're really hungry." Christine asked.

"I'll check. I think we have some granola bars and such. What about you and Mom?" Mike asked, referencing his mother-in-law.

"I ate yesterday too but Mom has been longer." Christine answered.

"Alright. I will see what I can do." Mike said. He wanted to hug Christine, but she had turned away to begin packing. He walked back upstairs and outside. Tex was standing next to the Jeep with a hopeful look.

"Given how long it took, did you find something?" Tex asked.

"Yeah. They're here. Can you take that bag of food down to the basement? They haven't eaten in a day or so and Christine is pregnant with twins." Mike asked, handing Tex the bag.

"Sure. Congratul…they are yours?" Tex asked.

"Yes. And just a word of warning, Christine is…different." Mike answered before picking up the sat phone. He prayed that Tom would be alright with his family coming aboard.

After calling in and getting comms, Mike finally got Tom. He had no idea how they were going to work the logistics, but they had to. He couldn't leave his family. "Did you find them?" Tom asked.

"I did. Tom, I know this is going to present an issue, but I need to…" Mike stopped.

"Need to stay?" Tom asked.

"No, need to bring them with me. On board. Christine, Kaitlyn, Hannah and my mother-in-law. The kids and Christine haven't eaten since yesterday and Mary hasn't eaten in at least a couple days. Christine also mentioned something about Immunes. I need to talk to her a little further and see what she meant." Mike explained.

"Alright. Yeah, bring them on. Only because I know Doc Rios will like having some help in the sickbay." Tom said.

"There is another issue. Christine is pregnant with twins. She's five months along. I know that could be a huge problem and she hasn't been to a doctor in a while." Mike said. He heard Tom's sharp intake of breath.

"Alright. We'll figure it out." Tom said. It was not an ideal situation and they had no extra quarters to house anyone and Mike wasn't sure Christine would even share a bed with him.

"Thank you. I really appreciate this." Mike said.

"We need you on board. I will see about getting your quarters set up. It is not going to be ideal, but I have nowhere else for them. Dad and the kids are staying in my cabin and I'm using my at-sea cabin. I think there are some cots we can utilize but we'll see." Tom said. Mike could tell he was less then thrilled.

"Alright we will be back before dark." Mike said and hung up. He walked back into the house, packed up some extra civilian clothes for himself, as well as the photo album he had found at the safe zone and then walked downstairs. He was shocked that Tex was still down in the basement, but Christine had probably put him to work.

When he walked down the stairs, Christine, the girls, and Mary were sitting on the couch, eating beef jerky, trail mix and granola bars. Mary looked particularly fragile but gave Mike a warm smile. She had always been feisty, and Mike respected her. She had been a single mother and worked two jobs so that Christine could go to nursing school. Tex was checking Christine's shotgun over and nodded at him.

"Alright, once you girls get all packed up; we will head for the James. We will be limited on space so bring the minimum. It is going to be pretty tight." Mike explained.

"We can deal with that." Christine said as she took a drink of her water.

"Well, you all have to pack into my quarters so be prepared." Mike told her.

"Dad, will I get sea sick since I get so bad car sick?" Kaitlyn asked, obviously worried.

"Doc has patches for sea sickness. We will get you one of those straightaway." Mike told them. He had sat down next to Christine but could feel the air of tension.

"Probably wouldn't hurt for all of us to have them. It won't hurt the babies." Christine commented.

"He has plenty. We also will give you all the cure once we're on board. I want to double check with Doctor Scott before giving it due to Hannah's asthma. It will be safe for the babies too." Mike told Christine.

"You found the cure? And how do you know if its safe for the babies?" Christine asked.

"Yes. We have a scientist on board and she tested it on six of the crewmembers, one of which was pregnant. We didn't know that on the onset but found out in the middle of the test. So far, her baby is developing normally and will be born immune." Mike explained.

"I see." Christine said. She had stood up and was putting Hannah's inhalers in one of their bags and Mary had packed another bag with extra bedding, which they would need.

"Can we bring our school books? I know you said it would be tight, but I really want to stay caught up." Kaitlyn asked.

"Of course." Mike agreed. He couldn't refuse either of his daughters anything. It had been one of his and Christine's arguments. He was too indulgent.

"Alright, Mom, can you think of anything else? I have Hannah's medicine, each of us only have three outfits and you packed some extra bedding." Christine asked.

"I want my yarn and crochet needles. I promise it isn't much." Mary said as she walked into the bedroom to get the items. She soon returned with a tote bag that she handed to Tex, who was beginning to take everything upstairs. Mary and the girls followed, giving Mike a moment with Christine.

"I want to make sure that this place is secured." Christine said, deadbolting the basement doors into the backyard.

"Absolutely. I'll lock the windows." Mike said and began the process.

"How long do you think we'll be on board?" Christine asked.

"Not sure." Mike stated. He could tell it was bothering Christine to leave the house. It was the last place that they had been happy and whole together. Since they had lost Lucas, they would never be whole again. They walked up the stairs with the last of the bags and both walked towards Lucas' bedroom. There were still toys and clutter around, but the room felt heavy. He looked over to Christine and saw the tears pouring down her face. He immediately pulled her into a hug and she surprisingly melted into him. He was rewarded with two sharp kicks from the twins and immediately put his hand over her belly.

"Yeah, they do that a lot." Christine said with a laugh. She had put her hand over his and smiled up at him. He was seeing a bit of hope in her eyes and kissed her forehead.

"We will get through this. I don't know how but we will." Mike insisted. She simply nodded at him and pulled away. She picked up Lucas' ball glove and a worn-out teddy bear and nodded at him. It was time to leave. They locked the windows up and deadbolted the doors and made their way to the Jeep. They both choose not to look back at the house and Tex quickly drove away, seeming to understand their moods.

Within an hour, they were going aboard the James and Mike had radioed in that they would need patches for sea sickness. Doc Rios was on the deck and immediately administered them. Doctor Scott was also on the deck and administered the cure. She watched Hannah closely but told Mike and Christine there shouldn't be any problems. Christine wasn't convinced. Hannah had severe asthma and Christine was very dedicated to her health.

Tom had kept his word. Mike's cabin was like his own and he had two cots set up, along with bedding on the couch. Mary opted too sleep on the couch and the girls agreed to sleep on the cots that weren't very comfortable. Mike and Christine would have the small bedroom area and they had their own bathroom. Mike was helping them get settled in and things stowed away when there was a knock on the door.

"Enter!" Mike yelled. Tex gingerly opened the door and carried in a tray of food.

"Bacon figured you'd all be hungry. Its just a soup but he said its his mother's recipe for chicken soup. Figured you could use it." Tex explained. There was a large pot of soup, along with five bowls and a pitcher of milk and a stack of glasses.

"Perfect, thank you." Mike told him. Christine had stopped what she was doing and was dishing up the soup.

"Yes, thank you. It smells really good and looks delicious." Christine said, addressing Tex. As soon as he left, she smiled at Mike. "I don't think he is Navy. He's nice enough but he's…not so…regimented." Christine teased.

"No, he was a Marine and then he was a private contractor. He's a really good person." Mike said, as he sat down next to Hannah and was handed a bowl of soup. Hannah had cuddled up to his side and was happily eating. Christine had pulled up his desk chair and was eating.

"This soup, I need this recipe." Mary said with a smile.

"Mom, I told Mike that I could help in the sickbay, maybe you can help in the galley?" Christine asked.

"Oh, I'd like that. I want to do something." Mary said.

"When I take this tray back, I'll take you with me to meet Bacon. He's our Chief Culinary Specialist. Has cooked for the President at Camp David." Mike told her.

"I am not surprised, considering this soup." Christine said.

"I will pass it along to him." Mike promised. His family was perking up with the hot meal going into their bellies, but he could see his girls were getting sleepy.

"The babies approve. They're kicking like crazy and I am thrilled you have milk. I haven't had any." Christine admitted.

"Its dry milk so it isn't perfect, but it is at least something." Mike said with a smile. He was glad the galley had plenty of supplies. His family wouldn't be hungry at least.

"It'll do." Christine said.

"Mom, I'm done but I am really sleepy." Hannah said as she sat her bowl down. Sure, enough she had eaten every drop along with the slice of bread that had been included.

"Mike, can I let them have showers? I think it'll be an early night for them." Christine asked.

"Absolutely. No water restrictions right now." Mike explained. Christine had also finished her soup and Mike followed them into the bathroom to show them how to work the shower. By the time he got back into the main room, Kaitlyn and Mary were done eating and Mary had everything gathered up on the tray. Mike carried it to the galley with Mary following him.

"I might get lost finding this galley." Mary joked.

"Oh, you'll figure it out. And there's always people around to help." Mike explained.

"Good. Thanks for bringing me with you all. I know you didn't have to, but I really wanted to be with my daughter and my grandbabies…and you of course." Mary said with a smile.

"I wouldn't have left you. I'm just sorry its such tight quarters." Mike assured her.

"We'll manage." Mary said just as they reached the galley. Mike put everything where it belonged while Bacon and Mary visited. Bacon had taken an instant liking to Mary and would allow her in his galley.

By the time they got back to the cabin, both girls and Christine were freshly showered. Mary had gone in for her shower and Mike spent a little time with both his daughters and Christine. Both girls were quickly asleep, and Mary had come out and was curled up on the couch. She would fall asleep quickly.

Mike took his own shower and then climbed in next to Christine. He only had a double bed and so he and Christine were going to have to be close together, despite the distance between them. Christine opted to stay on the outside of the bed, so she could monitor Hannah and Mike got in on the inside, closest to the wall. It was uncomfortable at first, getting situated.

"The last time we had a double-sized bed, was when I was a size 0 and before you bulked up." Christine complained quietly.

"Yeah. I was too skinny then." Mike stated. It had been when they first got married and he had only weighed about one-fifty.

"Trust me, I like you better bulked up." Christine said as she nestled into his arms. It was really the only comfortable position she could find, and the babies were kicking wildly.

"Good to hear. Go on to sleep. I love you." Mike said. He wasn't even sure that Christine still loved him, but he still needed to say it.

"I love you too." Christine answered and then closed her eyes. Within just a few moments, she was asleep, and Mike quickly nodded off.

 **Like it or hate it? Has just been an idea I've been thinking about for awhile and since I am wrapping up several of my other stories, I thought I would give it a shot. Also, I know that typically a family would not be allowed on a really Naval ship but since other families were brought on board on the show, I just went with it. I don't know a lot of the nuances where the Navy is concerned but that's the beauty of fanfiction, again. The nuances can be adjusted.**


	2. Chapter 2

**What If**

Chapter 2

The next morning, Mike was shaving in the bathroom. He had apparently forgotten what it was like to live with so many women that needed the bathroom worse then he did. He was going to be later then normal to the bridge and would be skipping breakfast. He was also still sore from the beating he had taken in Baltimore. Christine had noticed the bruises on his face but hadn't said much, indicating how sour things were with them. He had his shirt off and was quickly shaving. He didn't hear Christine walk into the small bathroom.

"Mike, what the hell happened to your chest? I noticed the bruising on your face, but you could have serious internal injuries. Has your…Doc Rios or Doctor Scott checked those?" Christine lectured. She was gently probing his sides and it did hurt.

"Uh…we made port in Baltimore initially and I kind of got into it with someone. He used a baton on me." Mike admitted.

"No kidding. Raise your left arm. I need to check as close as I can. Any shortness of breath?" Christine asked.

"A little, nothing terrible." Mike admitted.

"Have you coughed up any blood?" Christine asked. Mike heard another voice in the office area and recognized it to be Tom's. He had the worst timing because Christine was not going to be happy.

"Just a little. No biggie." Mike told her and went back to shaving. Christine disappeared into the bedroom and he heard her talking to Tom who also suddenly appeared.

"Why didn't you tell me about your ribs?" Tom asked.

"We've been busy, and I didn't want to be stuck in the sick bay. It isn't a big deal. We've all had busted ribs before." Mike argued.

"Have you had any blood in your urine?" Christine asked. She had her stethoscope in hand and was warming it.

"Uh…" Mike stuttered, thinking about lying.

"Mike, tell her. That's an order." Tom insisted.

"Just some this morning." Mike said.

"I'll call Doc Rios. See if he wants Mike in the sick bay or if he can come here." Tom told Christine.

"If he has some sort of x-ray, that would be preferable." Christine said.

"He has a portable x-ray and an ultrasound but isn't the greatest quality." Tom explained.

"Hey, I forgot about the ultrasound. That means you can have an ultrasound on the babies. We'll get to see them!" Mike said, hoping his excitement would distract Christine.

"Not cute, Mike. You know distracting me doesn't work." Christine said, with a hint of a smile. She was listening to his lungs and heart.

"Can we not scare the kids?" Mike asked.

"Your lucky day. Jed had taken them and Mom for breakfast, so they don't know about this. Mike, this is serious." Christine chastised.

"Didn't think you cared." Mike argued.

"If I didn't care, I wouldn't have reacted when I seen those bruises and I wouldn't have told you that I loved you last night. I wouldn't have slept in your bed either. Yes, I am pissed at you, but you are my husband and the father of my children. I want these babies to know you. That is part of the reason I went back to the house. I knew if you couldn't find us at Deer Park, you would go home. We've been married for sixteen years. I know how you think. I just didn't like how you put the Navy before us." Christine lectured quietly, and Mike was properly chastised.

"Yes, ma'am." Mike said. He knew better then to argue with her. Tom walked in and gestured at them.

"Rios says you need to get to the medical bay and Doctor Scott will also be there. If they need to place a chest tube, she's better trained." Tom explained.

"I thought she was a scientist?" Christine asked.

"She spent a year in a trauma ward in Mogadishu. " Mike explained.

"Good." Christine said as she handed Mike his shirt and then helped him put it on.

"I'll stay here until Mary and the girls get back." Tom answered.

"Just tell them we went to the sickbay for a check-up on the babies and that everything is fine." Christine insisted, and Tom nodded. Even he wouldn't argue with Christine.

"Yes, ma'am." Tom agreed and opened the door for Mike and Christine. As they made their way to the medical bay, Mike had a thought.

"In all seriousness, we can have a check-up for you. Make sure the babies are alright. I know that Doctor Scott checked Lieutenant Foster out after Baltimore. I'm sure she wouldn't mind doing the same for you." Mike suggested.

"Let's get you checked over first. I would like to have an ultrasound after. Do you know if they have prenatal vitamins? I ran out three months ago and the babies really need them, especially since I haven't had milk." Christine asked.

"I don't know but I do know that Doctor Scott specifically got some items she would need if she had to deliver the other baby. I would be willing to bet that she got prenatals. Kara is not nearly as far as along as you, but Doctor Scott was worried since it was her first baby." Mike explained.

"She could go early but her's will probably be a longer labor then mine. I always had short labors." Christine commented.

"How well I remember." Mike said with a smile. It had been a running joke for years. After thirty-six weeks, Christine could sneeze and have a baby. It had been funny before but given their present circumstances, it wasn't nearly so funny anymore. There were a lot more dangers to both Christine and the babies and it worried Mike.

"Maybe we will be able to find out that genders." Christine said.

"I hope. Did you want any specific gender?" Mike asked.

"Either is fine. One of each would be great. As long as they're healthy." Christine commented. They had reached the sickbay and entered. Doctor Scott and Rios were waiting on them.

Within a half hour, they had x-rayed Mike and used the ultrasound machine on him. There were no significant internal injuries and Mike would have to just take it easy. Doctor Scott had immediately agreed to examine Christine and she and Mike traded places on the exam table. Doctor Scott took her vitals, asked questions about her other pregnancies and deliveries and if she had any issues.

"My biggest concern has been the lack of prenatal care. No prenatal vitamins for several months, food has been iffy, and I haven't been to the doctor since I was six weeks along." Christine explained.

"Despite that, you seem to be doing well. Granted, this is not an ideal situation; but women have healthy babies and do not receive proper care. You will at least have better food, prenatal vitamins and proper monitoring. I am a little concerned about a multiple birth situation on a destroyer and the fact that you're an older mother. Hopefully we will be able to make port before your time is close. Now, you ready to see your babies? This won't be a perfect picture, but we will be able to see them, possibly even tell the genders." Doctor Scott asked as she put the jelly on Christine's enlarged abdomen. Within just a minute, a view of the babies came on the screen and Mike squeezed Christine's hand.

"How do they look?" Christine asked.

"They look really good. Taking measurements now and then we'll do the fun stuff. Hearts are strong." Doctor Scott informed them.

"Good." Mike said.

"Yeah, great. Alright, you are right on target. It looks like you will be meeting them in early March. You do want to know genders?" Doctor Scott asked.

"Yes." Mike and Christine answered in unison.

"Almost like first time parents. Alright, until you find names; Baby A is a boy. He is not shy in showing that off either. Baby B is a bit more shy but…yes, there we go. You will need to find names for both genders. You have a baby boy and a baby girl." Doctor Scott said with a smile. Mike leaned over and kissed Christine on the top of the head and smiled. Christine was also smiling and crying at the same time. "I'm sorry; I can't print a picture off to show your daughters, but they are doing very well." Doctor Scott assured them.

"Perfect. Thank you, Doctor." Christine said as Doctor Scott cleaned the jelly off and helped Christine sit up.

"Alright; Commander, I would prefer you do some resting and will tell Captain Chandler that much. Its between you and him, how you go about that. Doc Rios, are you in agreement?" Doctor Scott asked, knowing that Rios could force Mike to take the time off.

"I agree and will speak with Captain. I am going to suggest you take three days off and then light duty for a week after. If you do have to go back on duty before the three days; I want you working at least twelve on, twelve off. Normally, you work sixteen to eighteen-hour days, but not right now." Doc Rios stated, and Mike knew that between Rios, Doctor Scott and Christine, he was had.

"Alright. Gives me more time with Christine and the girls." Mike agreed, knowing fighting it would just make Christine mad. He was too elated for that at the moment.

"Perfect, go back to your quarters and spend some time resting." Rios ordered.

"Yep, that's exactly what he's doing." Christine stated, and Mike nodded.

They walked back to the cabin where Mary, the girls and Tom were visiting. They all talked for a couple minutes and Mike explained the doctor's orders when the girls stepped into the bedroom and bathroom. Tom had been expecting it and they agreed that Mike would only be called if absolutely needed, otherwise, she would be under Christine's watchful eye. Tom was escorting Mary to the galley, so Mike and Christine would have some time with their daughters.

Within just a bit, they were cuddled up on the bed. Kaitlyn had wanted a baby brother and Hannah had wanted a baby sister; so, both girls were thrilled. They spent the rest of the morning, working on schoolwork and just talking. Mike had changed into a pair of sweats and a t-shirt and he and Hannah ended up cuddling while Christine and Kaitlyn cleaned the front room up.

"Daddy, I'm really glad you found us. I was really missing you and was scared." Hannah said as cuddled close to his side.

"I'm glad I found you all too. I missed you all too and I was a little scared." Mike admitted, and Hannah raised her eyebrow at him. She looked so much like Christine when she did it.

"You were scared?" Hannah asked.

"Yeah, sweetheart; I was really scared." Mike assured her.

"Mommy was too but she won't say that. She cried at night sometimes. I thought it was cause she missed Lucas, but I think she really missed you too." Hannah told him quietly.

"Your mom has been through a lot." Mike said. Hannah yawned and cuddled even closer. Mike tucked the blanket around her.

"I'm getting sleepy and you're all warm, Daddy." Hannah said as she wrapped her little arms around him.

"Just go to sleep. I love you." Mike told her and kissed her on the forehead. Maybe some time off wouldn't be so bad after all. 


	3. Chapter 3

**What If**

Chapter 3

Knowing the baby's genders made the excitement more palatable but Mike fixated on the worry. For the babies, for Christine, for his girls and for Mary. What kind of world were they bringing babies into? Would they be safe? Could they safely deliver them on a destroyer, if need be? Kara's delivery was dangerous, but she was at least fifteen years younger than Christine and only having one baby. Mike didn't wish her or her baby any harm, but he was terrified. Christine had never had any trouble during her deliveries and always had healthy, chubby babies but she was older, having two babies and had not been able to have proper prenatal care.

The one thing Mike could do was rest properly so that Christine didn't worry about him or get agitated with him. He had to work a bit when Tom went aboard the Solace and then interview one of the prisoners. Christine was less than thrilled with the hours he put in and as soon as he got back to cabin, his feet were up, and she was examining his chest and stomach.

"Any shortness of breath or tightness?" Christine asked. Kaitlyn and Hannah had gone to the galley with Mary, so Mike and Christine had some time alone.

"No, ma'am." Mike told her.

"No, as in no, no pain or yes, there has been some pain, but I prefer to lie to my wife?" Christine asked.

"Okay, a little pain but not any shortness of the breath or tightness. I just don't want to worry you." Mike told her.

"You let me worry about what I want to worry about. Now, you've had enough. Let's get you to bed." Christine said as she stood up and then pulled Mike up.

"Best offer I've had all day. Will you be joining me?" Mike asked.

"Be serious. Mike, I don't think you realize how seriously you are injured. Sex is out right now for you. Besides, I'm big as a barn, you can't be turned on by all this." Christine told him as she began undoing his uniform shirt.

"I always thought you were even hotter when you are pregnant." Mike remarked.

"Yes, I remember but we are hardly in a correct environment for that anyway. My mother and our daughters in the next room? And who knows when we will be off this ship." Christine commented. She was getting a little stir crazy and he knew it.

"Hopefully soon." Mike told her as he took his uniform pants off and slipped a pair of sweats on. He also pulled a t-shirt on. The girls routinely napped with Mike and he wanted to be adequately dressed.

"Do you have any plans for then? Mike, I am five, almost six months along and will probably have these babies earlier. Thirty-six weeks is what I am hoping for. How we will handle babies on a destroyer? Where will they sleep? I can nurse them but…there is just a lot to worry about." Christine said as she sat down on the bed next to him.

"I wish I had answers for you. I will talk to Garnett and see if can come up with some sort of crib for them. And maybe, when they go on port next, we can find either baby clothes or fabric. Maybe Mary could sew some things?" Mike suggested.

"It might work but I really hope to be settled before. Somewhere, anywhere." Christine remarked.

"We're trying, babe. Doctor Scott is working on this to get the cure mass produced and we have to figure out where this sub is. We just have to find a safe place to make port. I want you, the girls, these babies and your mom to be safe." Mike told her.

"And you have years left of fighting, don't you?" Christine asked.

"Unfortunately, yes and I am sorry. I would rather be home, but this isn't going to be an easy fight. This Red Flu has brought out the worse in mankind and I can't quit now." Mike explained. He had pulled Christine into a laying position and had her head on his shoulder.

"I know. I just worry, Mike. What kind of life will these babies have? Hannah and Kaitlyn?" Christine stated. It was the same worries he had.

"I don't know. I wish I had the answers." Mike said. He wished he could tell her all would be fine, but he wasn't even sure. He could feel the babies kicking and ran his hand over Christine's stomach. He decided to take the chance and pulled her shirt up. He had always kissed her stomach when she was pregnant. He'd talk to their babies and feel the baby kick. But before, he and Christine hadn't been near divorcing. She ran her fingers through his hair and laid on her back, so he could do what he'd always done.

"I always loved this. Talk to them, Mike." Christine ordered.

"Hey, guys; it's Daddy. I already love the two of you, so, so much. Things are a little rough out here, so you need to stay in Mommy's belly where your safe for as possible. I will keep her safe and she'll keep you safe. Your sisters are excited to meet you and Grandma will spoil you rotten, but we all need you to stay in there. When it's time for you to come out, Mommy and I will have a house to take you home to and you won't need for anything." Mike said as he gave Christine's belly a kiss. She was smiling down at him and he took another chance, leaning up to kiss her on the lips, something he had not done since their reunion.

The kiss become passionate and Mike was enjoying it until he heard Mary and the girls walk in the front room. Christine pulled away and sat up, smiling back at him.

"That was nice. Still no sex though. I'll send the girls in. You can help Katie with her geometry." Christine told him, using their oldest daughter's nickname.

"Aye, Aye, ma'am." Mike said as Christine walked into the front room. Within a moment, Kaitlyn and Hannah ran in and crawled up next to Mike. He leaned onto the back wall and both girls got on either side of him. Kaitlyn handed him the book and Hannah curled up under his right arm.

"Mom said you would help me with this. It's stupid. What am I ever going to need this for? Especially now." Kaitlyn complained. She was a typical fourteen-year-old and had some major attitude. Despite that, Mike practically worshipped the ground she walked on. She was his firstborn and he adored her.

"Things won't stay like this. And besides, I use geometry quite frequently. C'mon, Katie." Mike ordered. He opened the book and began working with Kaitlyn. Meanwhile, Hannah had fallen asleep and was leaned into his chest.

Mike spent the afternoon tutoring Kaitlyn on her geometry and holding his sleeping, youngest daughter. It was perfect. He could hear Christine and Mary talking in the front room and eventually Kaitlyn fell asleep on his other arm. She had her head propped up on Mike's shoulder. Christine eventually came through to go to the bathroom and smiled as soon as she seen them.

"Perfect. Let me put a throw blanket over you all." Christine said as she threw a throw blanket over them. She leaned down and kissed both girls on the top of their heads and then gave Mike a kiss. He was beginning to feel his marriage warming back up. He just had to play his cards right.

"I really do love you and I am going to do everything I can to make you safe and comfortable before these babies arrive." Mike promised.

"I never doubted that you loved me or the kids. Never. And I do love you too." Christine told him.

"You could cuddle up with me and the girls. Wouldn't hurting anything." Mike remarked.

"Let me see if Mom needs anything first?" Christine said as she stood up and walked into the main area. Mike knew what Mary would tell Christine. Relax and spend the time with your husband and kids. It was typical of Mary. She had always made sure Mike and Christine had plenty of time to be a couple or to have one on one time with the kids. It was just how she had always been. Within just a minute, Christine was climbing back on the bed and crawled in next to Hannah.

"Mom okay?" Mike asked.

"Yeah, she's going to take a nap too. Gave me the whole 'you need to spend time with your husband and kids' speech. She's her typical self." Christine said. She might complain but she wouldn't change a thing about Mary. Christine respected her mother and Mike had adored Mary from their first meeting. Early on, Christine joked that Mike had married her because he loved her mom.

As Mike cuddled with his own wife and daughters, he reflected on his own parents. They were nothing like Mary. His dad and then his stepdad had been abusive, and his mother had been an alcoholic. Mike had had a baby sister when he was ten, but Jessica had died when his stepdad beat her to death. Due to living conditions and the number of bruises on Mike, he was taken into state custody. He was lucky because one of the detectives took him in. He and his wife lived in a nice, two-story house with their four-year-old daughter. Mike's biological mother had signed off her rights and his biological dad was not found so the detective and his wife were able to adopt him.

For the first time, Mike had a normal life and the Slattery's were an amazing couple and Mike loved his little sister, Molly. He wanted to be a cop from almost day one, and as soon as he got out of high school, he enrolled in the Police Academy.

He graduated at the top of his class and was assigned with an older, wise patrol cop, Ed. He'd been on the job for about a year when he and Ed pulled up on a wreck caused by a drunk driver. His adopted family had been killed in the wreck, instantly. Ed held him back because Molly had basically been decapitated.

Mike threw himself into his career and become detective quickly. He had met and quickly fell in love with Christine. Maybe it was his desire to be a part of a family. They married within six months of meeting and Kaitlyn had been born ten months later. Mike joined the Navy and Hannah followed, and then two years later, Lucas joined them. Mary followed them everywhere they had to move. Florida, Rhode Island, Maine and finally Virginia.

His and Christine's marriage had been strong until just before Mike deployed for the Arctic. She wanted him home more and he refused a desk job in Miami, choosing to deploy again. They fought and argued about it, but Mike went to Arctic, not knowing if he would have a marriage when he got back.

He didn't anticipate the Red Flu, losing a son and numerous friends. Mike knew one thing for certain. He was tired of death. It had followed him around since he was ten years old like a dark cloud. Mike was going to do everything within his power to keep his family alive, well and happy. He just didn't know how.

 **Since we know next to nothing about Mike's past, I decided to run with it. This story will follow the series but not focus on it. Thanks for the reviews.**


	4. Chapter 4

**What If**

Chapter 4

Christine, Mary and the girls had adjusted to living on the Nathan James. Christine helped in the medical bay and Mary worked with Bacon in the galley. The girls, especially Hannah, loved being on the ship. Mike had been working with Andrea Garnett to make a makeshift double bassinet for the babies. It wouldn't work as the babies got bigger, but it would work for a couple months at least.

The hunt for the sub had really heated up after Florida and the missile attacks on the labs. It had become an obsession for Tom, and it was everything Mike could do to temper it. He knew Tom would find the sub, he just wasn't sure what would happen after. And Mike was tasked with keeping President Michener happy, which was not an easy feat. Between dealing with Tom's obsession, the crew's low morale, Michener's demands and a pregnant and moody wife; Mike was slightly overwhelmed.

Christine's pregnancy had progressed, and she was seven months along. Dr. Scott wanted her to get to the thirty-six-week mark before she was comfortable with Christine going into labor. Mike hoped by the time she got to that point, they were off the ship and there was a hospital and trained professionals to deliver the babies. During her previous pregnancies, Mike remembered being nervous but with this pregnancy; he was terrified. Terrified for the babies and for Christine.

Christine didn't handle the number of hours that Mike was putting in and had some serious cabin fever. She couldn't nest on the destroyer and Mike had no answers for her concerning housing or where they would even settle. Dr. Scott and Rios both limited the hours she worked due to her progressing pregnancy. Getting up and down the ladders was also difficult for her. Mike was thankful that all the sailors were not opposed to helping her. It didn't help her frustrations. On one night, when Mike didn't get back to his cabin until after midnight and ran into Kaitlyn's cot and stubbed his toe on Hannah's cot; effectively waking both his mother-in-law and both daughters up and as soon as he stumbled into their bedroom, Christine gave him a very cross look.

"If you got in earlier, we would still be awake, and the lights would be on. And you could spend some time with your children. They definitely aren't your priority." Christine complained from their bed while Mike undressed.

"They are always my priority which is why I am trying to find a safe place to make port and bigger quarters. Do you want me on the inside of the bed?" Mike asked.

"Yeah only because I don't want to have to crawl over you when I have to go pee. Junior is sitting on my bladder." Christine stated as Mike put a pair of pajama shirts on and crawled in on the inside of the bed. "No shirt?" Christine asked.

"No, you are like a heater. You've always liked me sleeping without a shirt." Mike remarked.

"I can't exactly help it, Mike. I feel like I'm in a roaster and this ship is always warm." Christine complained as she crawled in next to him.

"I guess spooning is out?" Mike joked and Christine slapped his arm.

"Definitely. Besides, why would you want to? I'm as big as a barn." Christine asked.

"Because I like to, and I don't mind you being this big." Mike told her and Christine turned to face him.

"Is that your way of saying that I'm fat?" Christine accused. He was in the doghouse again and he knew it. She hadn't been so emotional during her other pregnancies.

"No, you're just very pregnant right now and I know that you're miserable and…" Mike started.

"It took two to tango, Mike and you were just as involved as I was. It wasn't like I planned on this pregnancy or these babies. Maybe if you had you had gotten the surgery like I asked after Lucas was born; we wouldn't be having this conversation now. If you're that hard up, why don't you find some young ensign or maybe your good friend, Andrea. I've noticed how friendly the two of you are and she doesn't have a husband at home now. Why else would she agree to make that bassinet?" Christine accused. Mike was completely in shock. Christine could be hard to please, but she had never alluded such a thing because they had agreed very early on in Mike's Naval career that they would never accuse each other of cheating, despite the time away from one another. Cheating had never occurred to Mike.

"Okay, first of all; you know that I would never cheat on you. Secondly, Andrea is making the bassinet because she knows we will need it, possibly within a few weeks. She's also doing it because she is a good person. As far as finding an ensign; I would not sabotage my career like that. I can't believe that you are even accusing me of that." Mike said quietly so Mary and the girls wouldn't hear him.

"So, you say." Christine said simply. Mike sat up in bed and crawled to the end to get out. As he put his uniform back on, he was fuming.

"I am going to go back to the bridge. I don't want to argue with you." Mike said as he zipped his pants and put his jacket on.

"Typical." Christine said.

"I hope you get some rest. I love you." Mike said before walking back out. He was able to navigate the dark living area better and got out thinking he hadn't woken anyone up. He didn't realize that Mary was awake. As soon as he was out of the room, she got up and walked into the bedroom; where Christine was laying in the bed. Mary sat down next to her and rubbed her shoulder.

"You are a lucky woman to have a husband love you like he does. I didn't raise you to be so ungrateful. And it has nothing to do with pregnancy. He is not your father." Mary stated.

"I thought since we were here, he would work less…" Christine complained.

"Honey, you are in his environment. I suspect that he works these sort of hours in normal circumstances. And when he was home, he was completely home. He just can't be like that here. I know things are uncomfortable for you and so does he, but he is trying really hard." Mary admonished her daughter.

"I know." Christine admitted with tears in her eyes. She had sat up in the bed and had turned the light on.

"Its too late to fix it right now; but when you see him again, talk to him. Apologize. That man adores you and you accused him of cheating on you. I refuse to get that involved in your marriage, but I would say, he was being honest when he told you he would never do that." Mary added.

"I also know that. I don't know why I said that. I've never doubted that Mike has been faithful." Christine agreed.

"You have a failing; you are too hard on yourself, Mike and the kids. You hold them to a standard that is hard to reach on the best day and this is far from the best day. The kids struggle with it and generally Mike accepts it, but his stress level is just a bit high right now and he is bucking against you because of it. He wants to find a safe place for you and the kids." Mary said as she stood up.

"I know that too. I wish I could go to the bridge and talk to him." Christine remarked.

"He needs time to cool off. I suggest you give it to him. He'll have to shower and shave at some point, not to mention, sleep." Mary told her.

"Yeah. I love you, Mom." Christine said and Mary bent down and kissed the top of her head.

"I love you too, honey. Now, get some rest." Mary ordered. She walked back into the living area and Christine settled back into the bed, falling asleep pretty quickly.

 **On the Bridge**

"I thought you were going for a couple hours of shut-eye?" Tom asked as Mike joined him on the bridge. It was really late and normally Tom would be asleep, but he was too obsessed.

"I'm in the doghouse and it was easier to come back here then to stay in my cabin." Mike explained.

"What'd you do?" Tom asked quietly.

"I honestly don't even know. Christine can be difficult." Mike remarked.

"I know, but you married her knowing that. It also can't be easy to be that pregnant on a destroyer. The clock is ticking, and I am trying to get you all somewhere and settled before she pops." Tom assured him.

"There is just a lot of unknowns. And Christine is all too aware that she will be raising these babies on her own. I will pop in, but we are looking at years of fighting and making this right. It isn't easy on her." Mike explained.

"It isn't easy for you either." Tom stated.

"So, off subject; what's are next move?" Mike asked, wanting to get off the subject of his personal life. He didn't like to blend his personal and professional life, anyway.

"An away team and I will be going to the oil rig first thing in the morning." Tom stated

"You sure it's a good idea for you to go? I can?" Mike asked.

"Nah. I'll go. Besides, I know you are itching for dry land. You can have the next away mission." Tom stated. Typically, Captains and XO's didn't leave the ship but Mike and Tom both believed in leading from the front and that meant leaving with the away teams.

"I will hold you to that." Mike said as he sat down on his chair. Someone handed him a cup of coffee and he began watching out into the darkness.

 **12 Hours Later**

"All available medical personnel, report to the helo bay. Repeating, all available medical personnel, report to the helo bay." Mike ordered over the 1MC. He wasn't sure what had happened on the rig but knew that the helo and RHIB were in bound with several sailors with severe injuries. Mike left the bridge to go to the medical bay to grab some necessary items that Rios, Doctors Scott and Milowsky and Christine would need.

By the time he got to the helo bay with the bags of fluid, there was mass chaos. Christine was tasked with starting IVs and assisting both doctors and Rios. Mike heard Danny Greene talking to him but had zoned out, concentrating on the injured and watching his wife. If she noticed him, she didn't say anything.

An hour later, Tom was in surgery for shrapnel in his abdomen, Ravit and Chung had died, and morale was at an all-time low. Mike threw himself into planning a memorial service and covering for Tom. Fortunately, Tom had survived but would require another surgery.

Christine was dead on her feet and Mike was worried about her but couldn't stop her long enough to check on her and Mike could only hope one of the doctors was keeping an eye on her. The last thing they needed was for her to go into labor. The babies would never survive being born so early on a destroyer, and Mike knew he couldn't lose another child; and Christine was more attached then he was. Mike was doing his best to stay detached because he was knew that he was going to be an absentee father to the twins. He hated himself for it because he was excited for the babies and already loved them.

Knowing that Christine was tending to her patients and Granderson was already back on duty on the bridge, despite being injured; Mike took an hour to eat dinner with his daughters and mother-in-law. Towards the end of the meal, Christine walked into the stateroom and sat down next to Mary. He could see the exhaustion on her face.

"You okay?" Mike asked.

"Just tired. Rachel sent me back. Said she wasn't in the mood to deliver babies tonight. My feet hurt." Christine remarked.

"Daddy needs to massage them!" Hannah stated with a smile. She was entirely too excited.

"A foot rub does sound good, but your dad probably needs to get back to the bridge. Right, Mike?" Christine asked but Mike couldn't help but notice the look of hope in her eyes.

"Granderson has it right now and I have a bit." Mike commented.

"You need to get some rest at some point." Christine remarked.

"I spoke to Garnett, she's going to cover tonight. I may have to go off ship in the morning and need to be rested up if so." Mike explained. Mary and the girls were getting ready for bed and Mike was just thrilled to have a few minutes of calm.

"Good. Listen, Mike; about last night. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have crossed that line. I know you would never cheat on me. I also know that you are doing your best for these babies, me, Mom and the girls. Things are so weird now and all I want is some sort of normalcy, but I need to accept that may never happen again or I am going to have to learn a new definition to normal. I should not have taken it out on you and for that, I am sorry." Christine stated. Mike was honestly touched by her apology because of how proud she was. It was just not something Christine did.

"I can't tell you that its okay because it did hurt but apology accepted. Now, I just want to put it in the past. I love you." Mike said as he knelt in front of Christine and took her shoes off. Her feet and ankles were swollen, and Mike began gently massaging them and grabbed a bottle of lotion that Mary had left on the table. He also lotioned her legs and feet up and smiled at the serene look on her face.

"I love you too. This feels so good. Surely you need to get back to the bridge though?" Christine asked.

"Yeah, I need to go back after this, but I have a bit. I will just tell Granderson that I was giving my wife a foot rub and she'll think its romantic or something of that nature." Mike told her.

"It is kind of romantic. Too bad that I am so huge." Christine remarked and Mike leaned up, so that Christine would be the only one that could hear him.

"The only thing stopping me from taking care of that craving that you always have had with every pregnancy is the fact that we are in such tight quarters. And I am not talking about the chocolate craving." Mike commented before giving Christine a kiss on the lips.

"That sounds good and chocolate wouldn't hurt my feelings either. You will be coming back to sleep tonight? I know you haven't, and I'm worried about you." Christine asked.

"Yes, Garnett is coming on about eleven. Course, if she gets in trouble; I'll have to get to the bridge." Mike told her.

"Still, just a bit of shut-eye. What's the deal for tomorrow?" Christine asked.

"I honestly don't know. Depends on Tom, I guess. Alright, your feet better? You won't be going to back to the medical bay tonight?" Mike asked, knowing that Christine and Rachel had struck up a quite the friendship.

"No. Rachel was pretty determined that I wouldn't be and yes, much better. Maybe, when you get back, I can give you a back massage. I noticed you were walking a little stiffly." Christine said as she rubbed his shoulder. Mike was still kneeling in front of her.

"I may hold you to that. Alright, I'd better go. Just want to give the girls a kiss goodnight." Mike said as he stood up.

"Girls!" Christine yelled as she also stood up. "Better give me a kiss too." Christine ordered. Mike complied and then the girls came in, wearing their pajamas. They were both so sweet and Mike adored them.

"Alright, girls. I need to go to work for a while. I probably won't be back until after you go to sleep. Give me a hug." Mike said. Hannah immediately ran for him and Mike hugged and kissed her. Hannah was an absolute sweetheart, while Kaitlyn was like her mom. Outspoken and at times, brutal. Mike could tell that she was bothered by something but concentrated on Hannah.

"I love you, Daddy! Good night." Hannah told him.

"I love you too, sweet pea. You sleep tight." Mike ordered before giving her another kiss and then releasing her, reaching for Kaitlyn. Kaitlyn allowed Mike to hug her, but he could tell how stiff she was. Someday, he would be able to devote more time to be a dad. "I love you, Katie; more then you could ever imagine. I don't know how but everything is going to get better. Just bear with me." Mike told her quietly as he kissed the top of her head. He felt her relax in his arms and knew the storm was passing with his oldest daughter.

"I love you too, Daddy and I'm trying. I just want some space." Kaitlyn whispered; obviously not wanting to complain.

"I know, sweetie. We'll get there, I promise." Mike told her as he pulled away. It was wrong to make promises, but Mike had to. Kaitlyn was depending on it. Christine nodded at him, understanding and wrapped an arm around their oldest daughter. It was time for him to get back to work and for his family to get some rest.

 **My life got busy and I had oral surgery yesterday. I am trying to finish a few of my other stories and just been busy. Thanks for the reviews! I do enjoy reading them.**


	5. Chapter 5

**What If**

Chapter 5

Tom had woken up and was already on the road to recovery but when it become necessary for Michener, Rachel, Milowsky and the kids to leave the ship because it was no longer safe; Mike was immediately drafted to lead the away mission. He was more than capable and didn't doubt his abilities, but it was excruciating for him. His girls could go along but his very pregnant wife and elderly mother-in-law would have to stay on the ship. They couldn't trek miles on foot. And he didn't know how to present it to Christine.

"They can go, Mike. I have no issue with Christine and Mary leaving the ship. Sure, having her medical knowledge would be good and half the crew thinks that Mary is their grandma, but I would never ask them to stay." Tom said as they sat in his quarters. He was still slow on his feet and the mission was the next morning.

"I…Christine is thirty-three weeks along with twins and Mary is not in good health. She had a hip replacement two years ago. We may have to walk for miles, and they can't handle that. Rachel told me that if Christine makes it to thirty-six weeks, it's a miracle and the babies will be alright. And then, there's my girls. Do I separate them from their mom and grandma, who have been their constant their entire lives; or do I leave them on this ship where they could die?" Mike asked. Thankfully, he could speak freely.

"I don't have an answer other than, talk to Christine. See how she feels. I can promise that I will protect them but its an empty promise." Tom admitted.

"I know." Mike stated.

"I will do everything I can to keep them safe. I don't like this either, Mike and I didn't order this lightly. If I thought Green was ready to lead the away team, I would order it; but you are much more experienced then him." Tom explained.

"I know that too. And I am sure he is not thrilled with the decision." Mike remarked.

"He's less then thrilled but I think he knows he isn't there yet. His concern is Foster, obviously." Tom said as Mike stood up.

"So, 0700?" Mike asked.

"Yep, get some rest…or make it a memorable night for Christine and yourself." Tom teased. Mike knew what he was implying.

"The bulkheads are too thin and my mother-in-law, my fourteen-year-old and my very inquisitive eight-year-old are within ten feet of me and Christine. Plus, they have to walk through our bedroom to get to the bathroom. I could always send Hannah to you to answer her sex-ed questions." Mike teased back.

"You mean, she has never walked into anything? I have known you and Christine for years and you two have always been like horny teenagers." Tom remarked.

"What a description. And no, we haven't always been. Remember me telling you that things were rough between her and I?" Mike asked.

"Well, not so rough; she is thirty-three weeks along with twins. I doubt that they are the milkman's?" Tom teased.

"No, no question, they're mine." Mike stated.

"Do you need a sex-ed talk too? You're about to have your fourth and fifth kid. I would say you have a thing or two figured out." Tom asked with a smirk.

"Depends on who and when you ask? Pre-foot rub, Christine will tell you I have nothing figured out; post foot-rub; she will tell you differently. If you asked my high school girlfriend; she would tell you I had nothing figured out." Mike told him.

"Way too much information! So, what changed between the two? The girlfriend and Christine? And, I probably don't want to know but I am intrigued." Tom said.

"Young, bachelor cop with a new uniform. Ever heard of badge bunnies? They like cops and firefighters? I was not exactly selective and had no plans on settling down. It was a bad point in my life and because of how my adopted family was killed, alcohol was not something I wanted to get involved in. I met Christine about six months after but up until that point…well, there were probably several of those girls. I didn't want a relationship. Just…physical comfort." Mike admitted. He wasn't even sure why other then he knew Tom would keep his mouth shut.

"Shit. So, what about Christine made you change your mind?" Tom asked.

"Met her and our first date; I…was a little suggestive. Anyhow, I ended up with her glass of wine in my lap. I think I knew then, Christine was the one. I love that feistiness. Course, she played hard ball. Didn't return my calls for a month and then when she did agree to another date; she made it very clear that she didn't play the same game I did. Turns out, I was her first. And I was more then willing to wait too. She could genuinely wear white, if you get what I'm saying." Mike admitted.

"Gives me a whole new respect for her. I am really curious now, in that month between those dates; did you…find another one of those bunnies?" Tom asked.

"Nope. Half the 'bunnies' were nurses and Christine worked with them. If I wanted any chance with her; I had to leave them alone. She was worth it too." Mike explained.

"So, was it religious or what? I know Christine can be ornery at the best of times." Tom asked.

"To a point, yes; it was religious. Mary had gotten pregnant with Christine when she was fairly young; and had to raise her on her own. Her parents were devout and having a child out of wedlock…it was a huge black eye. Mary could have given Christine up, but she refused. Mary worked two to three jobs the entire time Christine was growing up and continued so that Christine could go to nursing school and not work. That is why Christine is so devoted to Mary and she told me very early on, that when Mary got to the point, she would not be going in a nursing home. She would live with us. I honestly never minded that either. Mary is a total joy. Once she learned what happened to my birth family and then my adopted family; she was extremely maternal with me; even when Christine and I were just dating. And before I asked Christine to marry me; I asked Mary first." Mike said.

"And Christine's father?" Tom asked.

"The sad thing with that is that it was not entirely consensual. Christine is the product of a rape but that is not how Mary's parents saw it. And Mary is still extremely religious, she saw it as God's will that she keep Christine and raise her. She could have resented Christine but she loves her very deeply. I have never seen a mother/daughter relationship like theirs. Mary has no regrets." Mike explained.

"Does…Christine know?" Tom asked.

"Mary never made it a secret. She also never married and to my knowledge, never dated. I think she was too traumatized. Christine has been her whole life." Mike told him.

"Did…the father go to jail?" Tom asked.

"No. He was a friend of Mary's parents and they swept it under the rug. I can't imagine that. Mary was fifteen and the man was in his forties. Katie is close to that age now and if someone did that to her; I would rip him to pieces and his body would never be found. No apologies. I would kill him. But Mary managed. Her aunt helped her a little and Mary scraped by. She raised an incredible daughter." Mike remarked.

"Gives me a whole new respect for Mary. I just thought she was this motherly sort." Tom said.

"Very much so. I'd better go talk to Christine." Mike said.

"Mike, I really am sorry. I hate that you have to do this." Tom said.

"Greene and Burk aren't ready, and you can't. There isn't a lot of choice, aside from maybe Tex and that would mean drafting him and making him shave that beard. I am pretty certain he would mutiny." Mike said as he stepped out of Tom's cabin. Tom's family was back in Virginia and to the best of Tom's knowledge; safe. It made Mike wish he had left Christine, Mary and the kids at the house. He could have left them enough provisions and tried to get back for the twin's birth. The walk back to his cabin was entirely too short. The girls and Mary were already asleep, but Mike took a minute to pull the blanket further up on Kaitlyn and tuck Hannah back in since she was extremely restless sleeper. The light was still on in his cabin and Christine was sit up in bed, reading.

"Hey, babe. Everything okay?" Christine asked. Mike sat down next to her and rubbed his face.

"Not really. Christie, I have to lead an away mission in the morning." Mike started.

"Yeah, I figured that was going to happen; especially with Tom being hurt. You've led them before." Christine downplayed.

"Its…not that easy. This ship is no longer safe because of the sub. Tom has ordered a mission inland. I will be taking the President, Rachel, Milowsky and Ray and his group of kids to safety. It could be miles on foot before we find somewhere safe, but they have to be protected." Mike explained.

"What about our kids? Mom and me?" Christine asked with a shaky voice.

"You all are welcome to come along." Mike assured her.

"But Mom and I…that's why you're so downcast? Because of her hip and me being so pregnant?" Christine asked.

"Yes. Its potentially miles inland. This time of year, heat isn't so much a problem, but it'll be uncomfortable for both of you." Mike told her. He had turned to face Christine and she buried her head in his chest. He wrapped his arms around her and kissed the top of her head. They stayed like that for a couple minutes. Mike couldn't tell if Christine was crying or not, but his eyes were definitely 'watering.' Finally, Christine raised up and wiped one of his tears.

"Its up to Mom but I am going to stay onboard. I think Mom will agree with me. As for Katie and Hannah; I want you to take them. I would much prefer my babies live. I just wish these twins were here already. They'd be going with you. If…if Mom and I don't make it; promise me one thing?" Christine asked.

"Anything?" Mike asked.

"Retire. The girls will be without me and Mom. They will need you a hundred and ten percent devoted to them. I never intended on giving you an ultimatum in regards to your career; but please?" Christine begged.

"I promise." Mike said, completely at peace with the decision. It shocked him but she was right. He needed to be devoted to his girls.

"And one other thing, we don't tell them that Mom and I will be in danger. We tell them that if there is a medical need; Rios will need help and Mom, if she decides to stay, can't because of her hip." Christine said.

"Agreed." Mike stated.

"Alright; I will speak with Mom in the morning. What time do you leave?" Christine asked.

"0700." Mike answered.

"You'd better get some rest then. Can you hold me?" Christine asked.

"Absolutely." Mike agreed. He stood up and undressed, changing into a pair of pajama pants. He would have preferred a romantic last night, but it wasn't an option. His only hope was that he would get back to the ship and he and Christine would have many more nights together.

It took some repositions and a few uncomfortable moments but finally Christin settled down. It took Mike a lot longer to go to sleep. He was too busy memorizing Christine's face, how she smelled and the way the babies kicked at his hand. He was only too aware that if Christine died, his babies would also die.

 **I realized that Season 2 ended around Christmas time on the show which doesn't work with Christine's pregnancy. I had written that Rachel said the babies would arrive in early March but in this chapter, I have Christine being approximately thirty-three weeks along. If she carried the babies full term, it would put her having the babies in February, in that case. So, I am taking some artistic license with the show to make the fictional pregnancy work. I am ignoring the timeline the show had and making up my own. In this chapter; it would be mid-January, which would work with the early March due date.**


	6. Chapter 6

**What If**

Chapter 6

Mike took the girls for an early breakfast so that Christine and Mary could talk. He knew that Christine desperately wanted to spend every moment with their daughters, but she also didn't want the girls to know that there was any danger. The girls were completely oblivious. They knew they were going with Mike but didn't know why Christine and possibly Mary were staying. They ate quickly and made their way back to the cabin. Both Mary and Christine had been crying but they had packed a bookbag with a change of clothes for both girls, Hannah's inhalers and medication, granola bars and water. He figured out immediately that Mary would be staying with Christine. Mary hugged both of her granddaughters and then moved to Mike.

"You promise me, you'll take care of them?" Mary asked him quietly.

"I will. Mom, thank you for everything that you've done for me. I love you." Mike told her. Mary just smiled sweetly and patted his cheek.

"You have been like a son to me. Given me three beautiful grandbabies and given Christine someone who could handle her personality. I hope we all can meet those new babies. I love you too." Mary told him.

"Me too." Mike agreed as he watched Christine with their daughters.

"Girls, lets give your parents a moment." Mary suggested. Both girls followed her into the bedroom area and shut the door.

"I am not going to tell you or the girls goodbye. It would be too much like I am giving up hope. Just, keep yourself and my girls safe. My biggest wish is that these babies were already here. Then…you could take them along. I love you so much, Mike." Christine said. Mike squeezed her hands and then rubbed her stomach. He got a firm kick.

"I love you too. I will do everything in my power to get the girls and I back to you and Mom." Mike told her and then gave her another kiss.

"Just…take care of my babies, Mike. I know how much you love them. They will need all that love and more if Mom and I don't make it through this. I still hope we all will." Christine stated.

"Me too. You ready for the girls to come back in?" Mike asked.

"Yeah. Hannah's medication is in this bag. One in the morning and two at night. Her rescue inhalers are on the outside pocket so you can get to it faster. You know how I always try to talk her through the attacks before going to the inhaler immediately." Christine told him.

"With luck, she won't have any asthma attacks, but I'll be ready if she does. And Doctors Scott and Milowsky will be along too." Mike reassured her.

"I know but they don't love her like you, and I do." Christine said. He gave her another kiss and then opened the door for the girls to come out.

"Mom, is something going on? You and Dad seem weird." Kaitlyn asked.

"Everything is fine, sweetheart. Hug and kiss your mom so we can get going. We should be back by tonight." Mike answered for Christine. Kaitlyn might end up hating him for lying to her; but she didn't need to worry about her mom and grandma.

"That's right, honey. I'll should see you by bedtime. I love you." Christine told their oldest daughter. Kaitlyn just nodded and hugged her mom.

"I love you too." Kaitlyn said and then pulled away for Hannah to give their mom a hug. Thankfully, it was more innocent with the eight-year-old. Christine made sure both girls had sun-screen and that Hannah was feeling alright before they left.

"I…hate to cut this short but we really need to go." Mike said. Christine and Mary were not following them to above decks; choosing to stay in the cabin. Christine gave each of their daughters hugs and then gave Mike one. Mary had joined them again and given Mike and the girls hugs and kisses.

Leaving Christine and Mary was incredibly hard. The hardest thing Mike had ever done. Feeling his babies kicking and knowing he might not get to hold them or know them. It just was wrong. Knowing that Christine might not get to watch their daughters grow up. That Mary wouldn't have the peaceful retirement that she deserved. Thankfully, Kaitlyn and Hannah followed him, completely oblivious as to what was really going on. Mike made sure they were on the same RHIB as he, the President, Doctor Scott and a few others were on. Kaitlyn was reading to Hannah and even Michener was listening.

Three hours later; they docked the RHIBS deep in the bayous. They hiked several miles to an abandoned settlement. Mike recognized what might have been a store at one point but choose to hide in an abandoned shed. It seemed to be the safer option. He did have a couple of the guys secure the buildings and was shocked when Miller, Cruz and Wolf walked back in with three large sacks of items.

"Did you all go shopping or what?" Mike asked.

"Uh…no, sir. Not exactly. I was talking to Mrs. Slattery yesterday and she was concerned because aside for a baby bed, you all don't have anything. There's all kinds of stuff in there. Clothes and diapers and bottles, formula. Apparently, Cruz knows about babies. I thought this elephant was really cute." Miller explained as he held up a stuffed elephant.

"So, did you all raid a store or something?" Mike asked. He was a little surprised by the gesture and knew that Christine would love everything, but he wanted to make sure they hadn't stolen items.

"Sir, there was a note on the counter that just said take whatever. I got several bags of diapers, in varying sizes but mostly newborns and ones, there's also receiving blankets and blankets to swaddle them. I got sleepers and onesies too. I tried to keep it gender neutral, but I picked out a few items for a boy and a girl. I also got several things of formula. There is soy in there. Just all sorts of stuff. I had nephews and remember when my sister and mama shopped for them." Cruz explained. Mike's temper diffused.

"Dad, we could have a baby shower! I bet Bacon would help us bake a cake and everything." Kaitlyn said as she looked in the bags. Rachel was also inspecting the items and smiling.

"I got a cake mix and frosting too. I'm sure Bacon can figure something out, even with the limited rations." Miller stated.

"Oh, this is going to be so much fun!" Hannah said, clapping her hands and dancing around. Even Michener was smiling at her exuberance.

"I also thought, where the clothes were concerned; depending on what Lt. Foster had; they could be handed down, Sir?" Cruz offered.

"Yeah, good idea." Mike agreed. Hopefully by the time Kara got around to having her baby, they were settled somewhere. He could hear Rachel and Tex talking about goodbyes and all the unsaid stuff. It was too true.

"What's that?" Someone asked. Mike looked out the window and saw a couple and a young girl who appeared to be ill, walking about twenty-five yards from the shed.

"That child is sick." Rachel remarked, obviously talking about a young girl, about Hannah's age. He and Rachel began bickering back and forth about curing the child. She ran out and towards the family; with Mike, Tex and Burke following her.

"I have a shot." Burke said quietly. The father had raised what looked like a deer rifle towards Dr. Scott; who was trying to convince them to let her cure the little girl. Finally, they consented and within just a few moments, she was already doing better. Mike was feeling confident until the father warned them about some sort of heavy artillery meant to take out the James.

"Lomus Point is only a few miles from here." Greene remarked. Within just a minute, Mike, Tex and Greene were hiking to the area that the father had described.

"Here's the plan. Win." Mike said after some conversation.

"Good plan." Tex said.

"I'll draw fire." Danny offered and before Mike could agree or disagree, did exactly like that. The fight was on.

In less then ten minutes, all the Immunes at the site had been killed, and Mike had been shot, it was a through and through, but the guy had dug into the wound. It hurt badly but Mike would never admit it. He had unloaded the artillery into the sub but what scared him was the fact that the James look like she had taken heavy damages.

"The sub is sinking." Greene said into his radio.

They hiked back to the shed, picked up everyone and all the items for the 'baby shower.' While they were gone, Miller and Wolf had further raided the store and got even more items. Mike figured out that Rachel had probably helped them out, especially concerning the items for Christine. There was no way that Miller knew about nursing bras and cover-ups. Rachel had bagged them separately so that Mike could give them to Christine privately.

"Did we need all this when we were little, Daddy?" Hannah asked. They were walking through the woods and he didn't care for how winded she was getting.

"Yes, and more. You feel okay?" Mike asked.

"Hurts to breath." Hannah told him and Rachel immediately flanked her.

"Here, sweet pea. I'll carry you. May help. Wolf, hold this." Mike said as he handed off his A.R. It was a dangerous move, but it might prevent Hannah from having a potentially serious asthma attack. As soon as he picked her up; he could tell how much trouble she was having. "Just breath when I breath. In and one, two, three and then out. Just like that." Mike told her. They still had at least a mile to walk but Hannah's feet wouldn't be touching the ground until they were on James and she was on the upper deck.

"Sir, if she gets too heavy, we'll trade off. I can carry her." Greene offered.

"Thanks." Mike stated.

"Mr. Tex too?" Hannah asked. She adored Tex.

"I'm sure he won't mind but I want to hold you a little longer." Mike told her. Hannah cuddled into him and kissed his cheek.

"That's right, Little Miss. Your dad gets first chance." Tex told her with a smile.

"Okay!" Hannah said as she settled her head on Mike's shoulder. It wasn't too long, and Mike could feel her soft snores. His arm was aching and holding Hannah was not a good idea, but he would only hand her off if he feared that he would drop her.

He made it half a mile and had to hand his sleeping daughter to Tex. At least she was breathing better. Mike was also becoming exhausted from blood loss. Rachel was watching the wound closely.

"I am worried you might have some nerve damage. Any tingling in your hands?" Rachel asked.

"Not much." Mike said, obviously downplaying.

"Dad, if there is something wrong; you need to tell Dr. Scott?" Kaitlyn lectured him. She sounded just like her mom.

"Okay, okay. Yes, it tingles. Hurts like hell." Mike admitted.

"I will assess it closer when we get back on the James." Rachel told him.

"I think broad spectrum antibiotics may be in order too." Milowsky mentioned.

"Exactly. No telling how dirty that idiot's finger was." Rachel agreed. Tex had been more then willing to tell her about how Mike had been injured. Christine would know in no time.

"Greene, how are you doing? You took a hell of a hit." Mike asked to deflect the attention off him.

"I'm alright, Sir." Greene told him.

"Sure, you are." Mike said. He knew better. It was a good thing that the bullet hadn't gone through the vest, but it still hurt to be shot in the vest. Few people realized that it could also be life-threatening.

"You both are going to have a good exam when we get back and Commander, your wife will agree with me. Probably, even help me." Rachel informed both.

"No doubt." Mike agreed as the RHIBs came into sight. It was a relief.

"And I will check Hannah over in the RHIB." Rachel reassured him.

"Good. Load up." Mike ordered. The many bags of baby items were loaded first and foremost. All Mike could do was shake his head.

"People need hope and babies are a sign of hope." Tex told him as he laid Hannah down. Mike sat down beside her and picked her up. Kaitlyn sat down next Mike and rubbed Hannah's back.

It felt like forever, getting back to the RHIB. Tom met them on the deck and looked at all the bags oddly. Christine and Mary were nowhere in sight, thankfully.

"A couple of the guys found stuff for the babies. Something about babies meaning hope. They want to give Christine a baby shower. What can it really hurt?" Mike said as he grabbed the bag of items that were for Christine. They had gotten her some maternity clothes as well, under Rachel's direction. Wolf, Cruz and Miller was an odd group to go baby shopping.

"A party can't hurt morale." Tom agreed.

"A baby shower?" Mike asked, watching Wolf lift Hannah out of the RHIB and then helping Kaitlyn out.

"Anything will do at this point. We will be limping up the Mississippi to St. Louis. You'd better get that arm looked at." Tom stated.

"I will. So, the sub is sunk?" Mike asked.

"Was it you? The help from land?" Tom asked.

"It was. I will write a formal report. I want to get my girls back to Christine and then get this arm looked at." Mike stated.

"You volunteering to write a report? This is a brave, new world. Go ahead." Tom teased. Mike grabbed Hannah's hand with his good hand and handed the bag of items for Christine to Kaitlyn.

Christine had a huge smile on her face as soon as they walked in, but it was quickly dimmed when she seen Mike's arm. She kissed their daughters and checked Hannah over. Hannah's one request was that she could sleep with them that night. It would tight but they would make it work. As soon as Christine was satisfied, she escorted Mike to the medical bay, not even opening the bag of 'gifts.' And Mike had decided to let the baby shower a surprise. Thankfully, the girls agreed. The bag of stuff for Christine could be received immediately.

"Hey, did you see that bag that Katie set down? We found some items for you. Some comfortable nightgowns that you wear now and some stuff after the babies arrive." Mike informed her.

"That's great. You or who found them?" Christine asked.

"I think Rachel helped but it was Miller, Wolf and Cruz." Mike told her.

"Oh, how sweet." Christine stated just as they got to the medical bay.

An hour later, Mike had been poked and prodded. He was given an antibiotic shot and Christine was charged with cleaning it twice daily and to watch his hand mobility.

It was getting late by the time they got back to the cabin and Mary had dinner sit up for them. Mike's arm was in a sling that he wouldn't wear normally. They ate and quickly got ready for bed. Hannah held them to the promise that she could sleep with them. It was cramped and Mike ended up just holding the little girl.

"I am thankful you guys got back here. I was scared. I love you." Christine said as she cuddled up. She was wearing one of the new nightgowns and seemed much more comfortable.

"I love you too and I am glad we got back." Mike said as he leaned over and kissed her. He was curious what the next days would hold.

 **I know that I paraphrased a lot what the show had. I had rewatched the "Cry Havok" episode and could have done exact but it would have been about 5000 words long! Next chapter is the 'baby shower/moral boost'.**


	7. Chapter 7

**What If**

Chapter 7

Despite the low morale, the unease about what would be happening in the next few days, and the short tempers; the entire crew was excited for Christine's 'baby shower.' Officers and enlisted alike was involved in the planning and neither Mike or Tom had the heart to change that.

The shower was taking place while they sailed between Vicksburg and Memphis. Even though the lack of people waiting for the cure at Vicksburg was critically low and caused the crew's morale to dip even lower; Mike and Tom were able to figure out a schedule for everyone to attend the shower that wanted to. The problem was, every crew member wanted to.

Bacon and Mary had come up with a menu that was very similar to what would be at a normal baby shower. Mike had attended the baby shower for Kaitlyn, had missed Hannah's because he was deployed and stayed home with the kids so that Christine could go to the one that was held before Lucas' birth. He would be attending the one that was being held for the twins. He had heard that somehow, they had even decorated for the shower. The one thing that was a stumbling block was the many crew that asked for the names for the twins. They still didn't know what they would name the babies.

He walked into the wardroom before he got Christine from his quarters. He was shocked by what he saw. Most baby showers would have pink or blue bunting and such. Not this one. In place of a sea of pink or blue decorations, there was red, white and blue decorations. Mike recognized the decorations as those that were kept on the ship for July 4th, Memorial Dad and other patriotic holidays. The table in the middle of the room had numerous food dishes on it. There were cold cuts, vegetable trays, fruit trays, a three-tier cake with white frosting, little smokies, meatballs and at least ten different kinds of cookies and other treats.

There was also presents everywhere. They weren't gift wrapped or even put in gift bags, since that was the one thing that Cruz forgot but they were stacked and organized with stuffed animals and other baby paraphernalia around them. There was also a stack of diapers and wipes sitting in the corner of the room. Mike turned when the door opened and was shocked to see Michener standing in the doorway. Mike immediately stood at attention and saluted. He didn't have a lot of respect for Michener, but he still respected the office he held.

"At ease. I really thought when Cruz suggested this, he was out of his mind but hearing the crew…they need this. The hope. The promise. The future. To the world, this is just a room full of food and gifts. Not so different then a lot of baby showers, but to this crew; it's a room full of hope and promise. Those babies embody that. For you and your wife, this is about having needed items for your babies but for this crew, this is so pivotal." Michener said as he looked around.

"Yes, sir. I am going to get my wife in a moment and the rest of the crew will be drifting through shortly. Are you coming by?" Mike asked. Michener was kind of like a wet blanket. Mike wasn't exactly thrilled to invite him, but it was the proper thing to do. Not to mention, the man had an odd almost obsession with Hannah. Mike wasn't sure why other then she resembled his daughter. Mike knew that Michener would never harm Hannah, but he was particularly over-protective of his children. Hannah was his little sweetheart. Her innocence and faith in people was refreshing.

"I might. Thank you." Michener said after getting a cup of coffee and leaving the room. Mike didn't realize that Bacon had come into the room until he sit another dish down.

"With respect, sir; that is one odd man." Bacon stated.

"Agreed. Thank you for all this. This is a lot of food." Mike remarked.

"It was all stuff we needed to use up before we got to St. Louis." Bacon remarked.

"Good. Well, I will be back with my wife and girls. Christine still doesn't know about this." Mike told him as he walked to the door.

"I don't know how but good." Bacon said as he rearranged the food items. Mike left and walked to his quarters to get Christine and the rest of the family. As he walked in, Hannah let out a happy yell.

"Momma, its time to go! We're having a party." Hannah told her and everyone started laughing.

"We are? What kind of party?" Christine asked as Mike helped her off the couch.

"On the same trip that they found your clothes, they also found some baby stuff, so the crew has gotten together and are throwing a baby shower. Now, it isn't a typical baby shower but its our own version." Mike explained.

"How sweet! I didn't mean for them to do that though?" Christine gushed.

"They wanted to." Mike told her simply. They had begun the walk to the wardroom which was interesting at best, given Christine's advancing pregnancy, helping Mary and the girls through the p-ways.

As soon as Mike and Christine walked through, there were several of the crew in the wardroom. As soon as Christine seen the decorations, the food and the presents, she started crying. Mike helped her sit down and the girls began retrieving presents. Christine marveled over every single onesie, sleeper and blanket. She was thrilled with the diapers and wipes. Even the formula and bottles were gushed over.

They stayed in the wardroom for several hours, eating and visiting with the various crew. Rachel had also stopped by for a couple moments. Despite her deep friendship with Christine; Mike could tell, baby showers was not her thing.

The massive amount of food was devoured, and more gifts had been brought in. Andrea and one of her crew brought in the bassinet and a mobile that she had made. Christine was still suspicious of Andrea but was grateful for the needed items. Mike didn't know how to ease the suspicions and was afraid it would only get worse. Tom would likely be promoted to a land position, which meant that Mike would be given the captaincy. In turn, Andrea would most likely become his XO.

Mike knew he would never cheat on Christine with anyone but apparently Christine doubted it. He knew that he was looking at years of deployments and would become an absentee husband and father. He would always love Christine and his kids but knew that his marriage would possibly unravel at some point and his relationship with Kaitlyn had already began to suffer. Hannah was still young and innocent enough that she saw Mike as a hero. It would change as it had with Kaitlyn.

Finally, the party ended, and they began moving the gifts and other items to Mike's cabin. It would only make a cramped area more cramped but there was nowhere else to stow the items.

Hannah had eaten entirely too many sugary items and was bouncing off the walls, or bulkheads, in their case. Mike was pretty sure that if they had looked, she would have been vibrating.

Getting both girls relaxed enough to go to bed was interesting. It took Mike and Christine both to read and cuddle with Hannah and Kaitlyn was staying close too, even though, in her words; 'I'm too old to be read to and cuddled.' The girls were just drifting off when there was a knock on the door. Mike stepped into the hallway to speak to whoever it was. He was shocked to see that it was Tom.

"So, we are in communication with some people in St. Louis. Securing housing and such. I have a secured a furnished town house for you. I wish you and Christine could pick out what you wanted, but I knew that Christine desperately needed to be settled before those babies showed up. It has six bedrooms. Its split level but there is a sort of an in-law suite on the first floor for Mary. There is also a master bedroom, bath and closet. The other bedrooms are standard sized; even slightly on the smaller side; but will suite the girls alright. Three and a half baths and I guess the kitchen is something of a dream. Its open concept and has a big backyard with a pool. I put your name on it so that it didn't get taken before. The first couple nights, you all might be in a hotel so that the house can be inspected, cleaned and readied for you all. I also have reserved two hotel rooms. One for you and Christine and then one for Mary and the girls. I hope she doesn't mind sharing?" Tom asked.

"Mary or Christine? Christine has been sharing a room with me for over fifteen years…oh, Mary. No, she won't mind." Mike answered.

"You need to get some rest. Tomorrow will be a long day." Tom said with a laugh.

"Yes, sir. Thank you for letting the crew do this today. I think it was exactly what Christine needed." Mike stated.

"It was also what the crew needed. See you in the morning." Tom said before walking away.

"Hey, thank you for the house. We appreciate it." Mike said before Tom was out of earshot.

"Your welcome." Tom answered. Mike stood outside of his cabin for a moment. He needed to gather his thoughts about the entire day and coming days

 **I didn't care for Michener's character, and that's the beauty of fanfic because you can paint characters however you prefer. I promise, nothing odd will happen with his obsession with Hannah! The reviews have been great!**


	8. Chapter 8

**What If**

Chapter 8

They landed in St. Louis and found a massive crowd. Mike went with the crew while Christine, Mary and the kids stayed on the James. Part of Mike wanted his kids to witness the history that was being made but Hannah was still puny from her near-asthma attack two days before and Christine was so hugely pregnant that big crowds bugged her.

Mike would go and get them once it was time to go to the hotel. Christine, Mary and the girls had also been extended an invitation to the party for the James but were declining the invitation, preferring a quiet night in the hotel rooms. They had been given a suite of rooms and the hotel had supplied the girls with board games and junk food. There was also a basket of baby items and nice soaps and lotions for Christine. Mary had a warm pair of pajamas and a robe. Mike didn't know how they had guessed sizes and preferences, but it didn't matter. While Mike was downstairs, his girls would be happy. That was all that mattered.

While Mike was at the party, Christine, Mary and the girls settled into the hotel suite. Christine was thrilled to just spread out. They had space. She wasn't sure how she would feel once they got to their house. It would be huge. She had already met with a lady who was setting up the townhouse. She had looked through books with furniture, fabric and paint colors. Another 'shopper' was getting necessary items for the girls, Christine and Mary. She had asked about Mike, but Christine let her know that she would shop for Mike. Christine had trouble with someone else shopping for herself and knew that Mike was something of a celebrity. She didn't trust all the aides and shoppers that were cozying up to the crew of the James and didn't want a stranger to know what size of underwear Mike wore or other personal items. Everything was fodder for gossip.

Part of the reason that Christine had declined the invitation to the party was because Michener made her nervous. She wasn't sure why but choose to keep herself and the girls away from him. It might be considered rude and she knew and understood that Mike had a certain image to uphold now. As his wife, she had to help him. That part she didn't mind, and she didn't even mind being around the crew of the James. She just hated being a media op and knew that Mike would grow tired of it too. He hated attention.

So, Christine watched a stupid chic-flick with her daughters, painted fingernails and toenails, ate pizza and junk food with them and spent valuable time cuddling. She knew that Mike was probably less then thrilled with the party, fancy food and drinks. He wouldn't mind a steak and beer but fancy champagnes and foods he couldn't pronounce was not his style. Sometime, before the babies arrived; he would have his steak and beer. Christine would make sure of it. Kara had shown up with a baby-name book before she went downstairs as a way of encouraging Christine to find names. The girls loved coming up with ideas.

"What about Alexander Patrick, Mom?" Kaitlyn asked. The two girls were sitting on the floor while Mary and Christine shared the couch.

"Not terrible. I like Patrick, especially." Christine stated. Mary was working on baby hats for her new granddaughter and grandson.

"What about naming him after his father?" Mary asked.

"Mike never wanted to name a baby after him. He was only semi okay with using Michael as Lucas' middle name." Christine remarked.

"Elliott Marcus? Eli for short." Kaitlyn asked.

"I do kind of like that one. Add it to the list. What do we have for girl's names?" Christine asked.

"Dad has two written down. Molly and Jessica. That's it." Hannah stated. Mike had never told the girls about his childhood. He didn't want them burdened with it, so they had no idea of the meaning behind the two names. Christine was shocked that he had written them down. Mary and she exchanged a look.

"Those are both really good names and a strong possibility. How about we come up with a few others?" Christine asked. She knew that Mike had wanted to honor his sisters when they named their daughters but when it came down to signing the birth certificates, Mike always backed down on the names. He just couldn't do it. Christine had always had back-ups for that reason.

"I like Rachel!" Kaitlyn said. She had really looked up to the scientist, mostly because Rachel talked to her like an adult and Christine and Rachel had also gotten close.

"Write that one down. I like it too." Christine agreed.

"What about Alisha or Kara?" Hannah asked. She really liked the two junior officers. Christine didn't mind her daughters looking up to strong women like Rachel, Kara or Alisha. She didn't particularly want them joining the Navy like Kara or Alisha, but she couldn't control everything.

"Both good names." Christine said with a nod. The two names got written down and the girls began looking through the book. Thankfully, Andrea's name wasn't brought up. Christine wasn't even sure where her jealousy was coming from. Mike seemed totally devoted to her and their kids, but he was looking at years away from his family. Christine wasn't a stupid woman and knew that eventually Mike would get lonely. What would really keep him from straying from their vows?

They spent the rest of the evening eating, picking names, watching movies and finally the girls and Mary went to bed. Christine was just getting ready to go to bed herself, when she heard what sounded like a gunshot. She had been a nurse for years and married to a cop. She had spent a fair amount of time with Mike at the range. She knew what a handgun sounded like. She raced to the door and seen a man running towards her room through the peephole. She had no idea what she was thinking but just before the man passed her door, she more or less, clotheslined him with it, causing him to slam his head into a table in the hallway. He was unconscious but she took the gun away and grabbed the belt from her robe to tie his hands and feet together. She then grabbed the phone and called the front desk. She knew Mike and Tom were not far from the front desk.

"This is Christine Slattery in Suite 342. There was just a shot fired and I have the assailant…detained. I need you to get my husband, Commander Michael Slattery and Captain Tom Chandler up here now. I think someone has been shot and I am going to look but I need them up here now." Christine ordered and then hung up before she heard much of a response.

She shut her suite door and walked towards where the gunman had come from. The gun was in her robe pocket. She heard moans and seen Rachel collapsed against the wall. There was blood all over her upper torso and Christine immediately recognized the signs of a chest wound. She ran to her and immediately put pressure on it, while keeping an eye on the assailant. He was still out cold and would hopefully stay that way. Her babies were kicking hard, not liking the amount of stress that Christine was putting them under.

"Come on, Rachel; stay conscious. You know the rules. Once the patient loses consciousness, their chances of survival go down. I need you to deliver these babies. Here, feel." Christine begged as she put Rachel's hand on her lower abdomen. The woman gave a faint smile.

"Mike would be proud of how you handled that." Rachel said.

"Oh, he'll probably lecture me about myself in danger. I also hope he has his room key, because I locked myself out. Not to mention, all of his buddies are going to be seeing me in my nightgown." Christine said with a laugh.

"Just tie your robe?" Rachel said.

"Can't. I used my robe belt to…detain the guy that shot you." Christine told her. At least Rachel was staying conscious and alert, even if it was at Christine's expense. In the distance, Christine heard the elevators ding. Hopefully it was Tom and Mike. She wasn't sure how long the gun man was going to stay unconscious and how long Rachel would stay conscious.

"How funny. Can't imagine Mike being embarrassed by much, though." Rachel remarked.

"Oh, no. Nothing embarrasses him." Christine agreed.

"I bet you had big plans for him tonight when he got back to the suite." Rachel remarked. Christine could hear men running towards them, but it was a big hotel.

"I did. I planned on taking a bath together and him giving me a backrub." Christine volunteered so Rachel would fixate on something.

"Romantic." Rachel said. She was still feeling the babies kicking and the voices and sounds of footfalls were getting closer.

"Yeah. How I ended up pregnant too." Christine said with a smile.

"Mike's back rubs must be spectacular to do that." Rachel said with a laugh.

"They are." Christine said just as Mike and Rios came around the corner. Milowsky was also there and while they tended to Rachel, Mike lifted Christine to her feet.

"Are you okay?" Mike asked with a terrified look. He was examining her, especially where there were blood spots to make sure she wasn't injured.

"I'm okay. None of it is mine." Christine said. She was beginning to realize just how exhausted she was.

"Let's get you in our suite. You've had enough excitement." Mike said as he guided Christine to their suite. Danny and Burk had the gunman in cuffs and Danny had Christine's robe tie in his hand.

"I believe this belongs to you, Ma'am. Smart move. How exactly did you knock him out though?" Danny asked as he handed Christine the robe belt.

"I waited until just before he ran by the door and opened it suddenly. He ran into it and then fell back and hit his head on that table. That knocked him out. I got the gun away from him and tied him up. The belt was all I had on hand. Here's the gun." Christine said as she handed Danny the small handgun that had been in her pocket. Several of the men let out a low whistle but Christine just nestled into Mike's side.

"Sir, I understand if you need me elsewhere, but I would really prefer to stay here with my wife, especially given her condition?" Mike asked. Christine wasn't sure if he was referring to Tom or the President who had just showed up. Rios was making arrangements to have Rachel taken elsewhere.

"You are the only one that is trained in interrogation and I would expect that you would follow him to interrogate him." Michener berated Mike. Christine could feel Mike tense up but knew to keep her mouth shut. She really wanted Mike to stay with her.

"Sir, he is still unconscious and needs to be checked out medically. You want this by the books, correct? How about this, Mike; you report to the James at nine am, to start interrogations. That'll give you time to make sure that Christine is alright and for us to know that Rachel will be alright." Tom suggested, more to diffuse the situation.

"Alright, fine." Michener agreed.

"Can you call us and let us know how she is?" Christine asked as she pointed back at Rachel. Part of Christine wanted to go with her. She needed a nurse but the other part of her knew better then to stand for hours at a time during a surgery.

"Absolutely." Tom agreed. Thankfully, Mike pulled his room key out of his pocket and let Christine in. He stood outside the door and spoke to Tom for a moment before following her in.

"Sure, you're okay? We can get you checked out." Mike asked. Christine had taken the blood covered robe off and realized she also had blood all over the nightgown too. Hardly presentable for the President of the United States.

"I'm fine. The babies are letting me know what they think. Mike, I know your mind is elsewhere, but I really want to take a bath with you. There's a huge tub in our bathroom. The girls and Mom have their own bathroom, so they won't bother us. Please?" Christine begged.

"Sure. I'll draw a bath. One of these bubble things?" Mike asked as he looked through her basket.

"Yeah. I'm going to look in on Mom and the girls while you do that." Christine stated. He headed into their wing of the suite while Christine stuck her head into the other bedroom. Hannah was sleeping with her mom and Kaitlyn was stretched across the other bed. Normally, Christine would have tucked her back in, but she didn't want to chance waking her up since she had blood all over.

Ten minutes later, Christine settled into the bathtub with Mike behind her. He was gently rubbing her back. Normally, Christine would have thought it was romantic but there was too much on her mind. She leaned her head back, against Mike's shoulder and just relaxed. He was still recovering from his gunshot wound and the bath probably wasn't helping the wound, but he didn't seem to care. They didn't talk, just relaxed.

 **I really debated how I was going to handle Rachel's death. On one hand, if I keep her alive; I'm afraid that storyline might take over Mike and Christine's, but I like the 'what if' concept; so what if she survived that night? What do you all think?"**


	9. Chapter 9

**What If**

Chapter 9

It was a miracle that Rachel made it through the night. The bullet had done a lot of damage and she would be in therapy for months, but she was alive. Mike and Christine went back to the James that morning, so Mike could question the suspect and Christine could check on her friend. Their house would be done the next day. It bothered Christine that the 'shoppers' were decorating it for her. She was capable of decorating her house and shopping for her family's needs. She also knew that they were doing the same type of thing for other crew members. Mike was also uncomfortable with it, but was having trouble saying no.

Rachel was in and out of consciousness when Christine checked on her. Her vitals were good, and she would be on the James until a safe place for her could be found. Until, she was in the safest place she could be with two guards, in addition to Rios and his corpsmen. Christine fixed her bandages and sit with her until Mike was done.

For Mike, the interview was not productive. Michener wanted answers but Mike refused to beat the suspect to get them. He was against torture. In not so many words, Michener had suggested that Mike get the answer in any manner. His impression was shooting Rachel was a last moment effort from the Immunes to end the cure. The suspect was none too bright and had been easily brain-washed. It was unknown rather he shot Rachel under order from the leaders of the Immunes or if he did it to gain their respect. Regardless, he would be spending his life in prison.

Tom supported Mike's opinion of not torturing the suspect and would support him where Michener was concerned. The man still had Constitutional rights, even if the Constitution was moot. It might end up getting Mike court-martialed but Michener had few choices at that point. Law enforcement was all but non-existent. Mike wrote his report, handed it over to Tom and walked to the medical bay. He also wanted to check on Rachel. When he first met her and then after they found out about the Red Flu, he didn't like her. As time went on and Rachel proved herself, Mike began respecting her. He also liked Christine having a friend. She had never been good at developing friendships due to her brash nature. Darien and she had only been friends because of how close Mike and Tom were. Christine had mellowed some and Rachel could rebuff her bad moods.

"We are still working on names. The girls suggested one I really like for our boy. Elliott. Eli for short. The baby girl's name…we are struggling with." Christine told Rachel. Mike listened to them from the door of the medical bay and smiled.

"You need to figure it out. Did you have this much trouble before?" Rachel asked.

"We made lists and went from there. Mike always writes down Molly or Jessica for his sisters, but he just can't name the baby that. He wants to honor them but when it comes to facing it, he can't." Christine explained. Mike closed his eyes for a moment remembering both of his sisters. Jessie had never had a chance to grow up and Molly was a teenager when she died. It had never been fair, and he didn't want to curse his daughter with one of their names, no matter how much he wanted to honor them.

"Makes sense. He's been through a lot. Not sure I am going to be able to deliver them, but you are here now. You'll be alright. I can be in the room if you'd like though? If Mike is alright with it?" Rachel asked. Mike decided to walk in at that moment, so he stopped thinking about Molly and Jessie.

"I am fine with that. Just be prepared because Lucas was a home delivery because of how quick her labors go." Mike replied.

"Yep, two hours with Katie, forty-five minutes with Hannah and I didn't realize I was in labor until about five minutes before Lucas was born; and that was only because he was crowning." Christine told her with a smile.

"And you're a nurse! I cannot imagine you delivering a baby though, Commander?" Rachel said with a smile.

"Oh, thankfully; I've had some experience. Lucas was not the first baby I delivered. I delivered my little sister. I was nine." Mike stated. He hadn't told anyone but Christine that. His mom had been high and didn't realize that she was in labor and Mike had called 9-1-1 and the operator had talked him through the delivery. Paramedics got there five minutes later. It was traumatizing.

"Oh…I had a fair amount of deliveries when I was with Doctors Without Borders and then the Peace Corps. Not so many when I started with CDC. I always enjoyed them." Rachel supplied.

"I worked for awhile in L and D. Preferred the E.R. though. I like the adrenaline rushes." Christine admitted.

"Sounds about right, although I am seriously wondering if you missed your calling. You should have been a cop." Rachel teased. Christine was a born nurse and they all knew it.

"I am just glad that no one drew attention to that fact that I was in a nightgown and a robe. That was embarrassing." Christine remarked. Mike had already given her a firm lecture about putting herself in danger. She had taken it. She knew better.

"They were too busy respecting you because of the way that you hog tied that guy with the belt of your robe. They thought it was interesting." Mike remarked.

"I didn't have a pair of hand-cuffs available." Christine deadpanned.

"Why would you?" Rachel asked, and then wished she hadn't. She knew Christine just well enough to know a bit too much about Christine and Mike's sex life.

"She likes to keep the pair that I used as a cop in the nightstand. Sanitized, of course. They come in handy when we're…" Mike started. Rachel was a bit shocked that it was Mike that had over-shared.

"Okay, okay! Forget I asked." Rachel interrupted and then yawned.

"You're wearing out. You'd better get some rest." Christine said as she leaned over and squeezed Rachel's good hand.

"Yeah. Have a good day." Rachel said, obviously exhausted.

"You too. I'll come back tomorrow to check on you." Christine promised as she stood up.

"Take care." Mike said but Rachel had already fallen asleep. Mike and Christine walked hand-in-hand to the docks but just before they got in the loaner vehicle, Mike's sat phone rang.

"Better get that." Christine said as she got in the passenger seat.

 _"This is Commander Slattery." Mike answered._

 _"Yes, sir. My name is Addison Gregory; one of the shoppers. Your house is equipped, and you can come by. Not sure if you would want to stay the night tonight. There are still some paint fumes." The voice on the other end replied._

 _"I need the address, let me grin a pen and paper." Mike said as Christine handed him the items. "Okay, ready." Mike stated._

 _"It is 3241 Meadowlark Lane." Addison replied._

 _"Sounds fancy." Mike said._

 _"It is a very nice house." Addison stated._

 _"Alright, we will be there shortly." Mike replied and then hung up._

Mike began the drive to the upper-scale area. It was nicer then they had ever lived. Several of the Nathan James crew was being moved into the neighborhood. Tom would be across the street from Mike and Christine. The 'townhouses' were like mini-mansions. Finally, Mike pulled into their driveway. Their townhouse was huge.

"Remember that apartment that we had when we first got married? How tiny it was. Katie's crib at the end of our bed because that is the only space for it. I only had a small dresser for her clothes." Christine remarked as they walked up the sidewalk.

"Or the house in Maine? We had Katie and Hannah in a tiny bedroom because your mom stayed with us. They were so cramped up." Mike stated.

"I hope they left the nursery undone. I really want to do it myself. Not sure how you feel about putting baby furniture together, but I need that." Christine remarked.

"If you don't like something, we can always redo it. I know it seems wasteful, but this is your home. Its important to me that you and the kids and Mom are happy here." Mike said as they stepped up on the porch. The door swung open and a woman, in her mid-thirties stepped out.

"Hi! I'm Addison. Welcome home." Addison said as she guided them in. The house was breathtaking.

"Thank you. Its nice." Christine remarked.

"Your welcome. Its decorated but there is room for personal touches. Given your selections, we figured that you liked comfortable, lived in feeling. We did do your bedroom, your mother's room and your daughter's rooms. We painted the nursery the light beige you picked, and the furniture is in there but not put together. We also bought a couple different sets of crib bedding. You can select which you want, and the others can be taken back. We got two of each, all gender neutral. The only piece of furniture that is put together is the rocker." Addison explained as they walked through the house. Mike and Christine were both in awe. It did capture them perfectly.

"That's good. I was hoping to do that at least." Christine remarked. They were walking up the steps and Mike had a hand in the small of her back to help her.

"I thought that on this wall, going up the stairs, some family pictures would be nice. We can set up a photographer?" Addison suggested.

"We have some already and I wouldn't want to take more until the babies are here." Christine told her.

"Perfect. Alright, this is Kaitlyn's room. I wanted this room to grow with her, so it is a pretty room for a fourteen-year-old, but it will also be nice when she returns home from college." Addison explained as they stepped into the first bedroom. The walls were painted a robin's egg blue with a floral bedspread that coordinated perfectly. The curtains and area rug also worked well. The bed frame, nightstands, dresser and desk were all in white wood.

"She'll love it." Christine told her.

"Great. I understand that you were not able to bring a great deal of clothes so there is a dresser and closet full in the sizes you gave us…" Addison started. Mike and Christine exchanged a look. Christine hated the idea of someone else shopping for her family's clothing.

"Nothing too revealing?" Mike asked. That was his biggest qualm, although he understood Christine's reasoning.

"Oh no. I was careful of that. And I kept receipts for everything. Same goes for Hannah. I wanted a room that would grow with her. You said her favorite color is pink?" Addison asked as they walked into the adjoining bedroom. There was a Jack-and-Jill bathroom between the two rooms that was fully setup. Christine would have been thrilled to have that bathroom, she could only imagine what the master would be like.

"Good." Christine remarked. Mike discreetly rubbed her back as they walked into Hannah's bedroom. It was painted beige but had pink and white accents. The furniture was also in white, but more distressed. The accent seemed to be peonies, Christine's favorite flower. It was an adorable room and perfect for their eight-year-old. There was a Victorian-style dollhouse in the corner and a window seat. Christine had also noticed one in Kaitlyn's room. The girls would love them.

"I think Hannah will love this." Mike told Addison; as he guided them out of the room. The nursery was a little easier to digest. Christine could truly decorate it as she wished. The next room was the master suite. The room was huge and fortunately, decorated to their taste.

"We can move the bassinet that Andrea made in here. I will want the babies close at first." Christine remarked.

"Oh, we can get you a double bassinet. I wondered about that." Addison stated.

"No, we have one that a friend made us. We want to put it to use." Mike told her.

"Perfect. Alright, here's the master closet and bath. Both huge rooms." Addison answered. Both Mike and Christine glanced in. Both rooms were perfectly done. They had clothes hanging up for Christine and the bathroom was luxurious. It had the perfect bathtub and shower.

"Good, double vanities." Christine stated, blandly. At least she would be able to put some personal touches on the house. Everything just felt borrowed.

"Yes. The key to a strong marriage. Alright, there's another bathroom, guest room and closet." Addison joked as she finished the tour of the upstairs. The guestroom was done in navy blue. Christine liked it a lot. The walked back downstairs and looked at Mary's in-law suite. It would be perfect for her. Just off the kitchen with room for her to have her own space but be close to the family. It had a bedroom, sitting area, bathroom and large closet.

"My mom will love it." Christine stated. The kitchen was beautiful, fully equipped and stocked. Christine hated that they had gone grocery shopping for her. She knew that rations were limited but they didn't know her family's preferences.

"The mud/laundry-room is dreamy. And I love this gazebo outside." Addison said as she pointed them outside. It was a beautiful backyard, complete with a pool, hot tub, gazebo, outdoor kitchen and garden spot.

"Nice. Expensive." Mike remarked. He hated the expense of it all. He didn't want to feel that he owed anyone.

"Its all taken care of. No worries." Addison said.

"So, when can we move in?" Christine asked. As much as she hated the idea; she needed to get her family settled.

"It still smells a bit fumy. Maybe another night before you move in?" Addison asked.

"Sounds good. Thanks for your help." Christine told her sincerely. The woman was only trying to help them.

"Here's the keys and my card. If any returns need to happen or when you get the nursery done; the excess taken away; please call." Addison said before handing the keys and card. She left before Mike and Christine and Mike locked up.

"It's a nice house and I appreciate it. I just…" Christine started.

"Hate it? Me too but we will make it our own. Let's get back to the girls. I've had enough." Mike said, more for Christine's benefit. They walked out of the house, got in the loaner vehicle and drove back to the hotel in silence.

 **I know it seems unreal that the government would supply all that, but it will be a bit of a theme. And yes, Michener is a bit darker in this story, but he'll be harmless.**


	10. Chapter 10

**What If**

Chapter 10

Move in was not nearly as stressful as Mike feared. Given their lack of belongings; two trips to the loaner vehicle moved everything in. The girls were enthralled with the huge house, perfectly decorated bedrooms and the filled closets. Mary loved the huge kitchen and was already preparing them a home-cooked meal. Christine had disappeared; and finally, Mike found her sitting on their bed, with the small box of Lucas' belongings. Mike sat down next to her and grasped her hand.

"I found the biggest reason why I hate this house. It's because Lucas isn't here and there isn't a space for him. There's separate bedrooms for the girls, a nursery for the babies, a guest bedroom to move one of them into when they need to be separated, Mom has her own space, there's an office, a man-cave and what Addison nicknamed a she-shed, but no place for my little boy." Christine cried into her free hand. Mike pulled her into a hug, and she sobbed into his chest. He didn't have an answer for her. He could designate a room for Lucas' things, but it wouldn't be like Lucas would ever spend time in the room.

"I know, honey, I know." Mike said. He had no idea what else to do.

"I…just miss him, so much." Christine sobbed into his chest.

"Me too." Mike agreed simply. He didn't have any other words. They sat and cried in each other's arms for a couple minutes until Hannah came crashing through; excited to show her parents something and not realizing that they were having a bad moment.

"Did you see my dollhouse? It has furniture and everything!" Hannah said, excitedly. Hannah did everything in two speeds; fast and faster and on two volume levels, loud and extremely loud. She was in the extreme mode and was practically vibrating in excitement. Mike pulled her up on the bed and cuddled her close.

"Remember, Hannah; inside voice. And yes, we did see. Do you like your room and clothes?" Christine asked as she wiped her tears.

"Yeah, its really pretty. Momma, your sad?" Hannah asked. The little girl was extremely perceptive.

"Uh, yeah but I'm happy that you like your room." Christine said, trying to deter the eight-year-old. Hannah got upset when she realized people were sad and it unnerved her greatly, frequently causing her to have an asthma attack. Christine wanted to prevent that.

"Sweetie, we are just missing your brother a lot." Mike told her. He understood Christine's viewpoint, but he refused to hide his grief from the little girl. He wanted the girls to know, it was okay to discuss their brother.

"Oh, I miss him too." Hannah said as she wrapped her tiny arms around Christine and kissed her cheek. Christine cuddled Hannah close and smiled at Mike. Hannah had the sweetest heart and amazing spirit. Despite having severe asthma that limited her greatly, she met every challenge like it was just something new to conquer. Just as Hannah was about to pull away; Kaitlyn came in and jumped on the bed, next to Christine.

"Did you see all my clothes? And they got me books! Lots of books." Kaitlyn said. She was just as animated as Hannah had been.

"We didn't see all the clothes. I think you both need to write thank you notes to whoever is responsible for all this." Christine stated.

"Does having this big house mean we can't cuddle with you and Daddy anymore? I liked it when we all slept together." Hannah asked.

"We will still do that stuff. We did in Norfolk too." Christine answered.

"Oh." Hannah stated, losing interest already.

"Is the baby room decorated nice?" Kaitlyn asked.

"Just painted. Dad has to put the furniture together and I have to pick what bedding and such I want." Christine answered.

"They didn't do that? Those babies will be here real soon, and they need a room!" Hannah stated.

"Sweetie, they'll sleep in the bassinet, there for a while. By the time they are big enough; the room will be ready. Chances are, even before they are here." Christine explained.

"Why do they have to sleep in here?" Hannah asked, obviously confused.

"Because they will be awfully small and will need to be close to your momma. You did too when you were that little." Mike explained.

"How can the babies be so little, and Momma be so huge?" Hannah asked. She also struggled with not being so outspoken. The problem being, she didn't understand that she was insulting someone when she said certain things.

"Just the way it happens sometimes. The babies need lots of padding to take care of them inside of me." Christine explained.

"They have lots of padding. They made you fat." Hannah stated. Mike was struggling to not laugh but knew he had to correct Hannah. She couldn't go around telling pregnant women that they were fat.

"Hannah, we don't call people fat. Apologize to your mom." Mike scolded.

"Sorry, Momma." Hannah apologized.

"Thanks, honey. Why don't you girls go downstairs and see if Grandma needs help?" Christine suggested.

"Okay!" Hannah said before giving her another kiss. Both she and Kaitlyn jumped off the bed and ran out of the room. As soon as they were out of earshot, Christine started laughing. "How you kept a straight face through that? "Christine said through fits of laughter.

"I don't know. Wasn't sure how you'd react though. She's a mess." Mike remarked.

"Yes, but our mess." Christine said as she stood up. It was time to go downstairs but Mike picked up the box of Lucas' items.

"Where do you want this?" Mike asked.

"Put it over there on that dresser. I will put the stuff up later. I…can't just stick it in a closet and I am sorry for that." Christine said.

"I wouldn't want you to." Mike remarked before sitting the box down on the indicated shelf. He and Christine walked downstairs, hand-in-hand.

 **I know, short filler chapter. I'm gearing up for writing the twin's birth so be patient! Thanks for the reviews.**


	11. Chapter 11

**What If**

Chapter 11

Christine was in full nesting mode. She still hated the townhouse but was determined to make it her own. The decorator had left just enough undone that she could put a personal touch on each room and was determined to have it done before the babies were born. It worried Mike but Christine had always been organized and in-charge. He had a daily list taped to the fridge each day with different tasks assigned. He would prefer to spend time with his wife and daughters but was wise enough to know; he needed to finish his projects.

Schools weren't being close to being opened and Christine would have to continue to homeschool the girls until they did. Normally, she would be wanting to go to work but seemed completely content to be a stay-at-home mom for a while.

The James was in dry dock and as expected, Mike was going to be the Captain upon the deployment. As soon as the ship was sea-worthy, Mike would be deployed. He spent hours each day recruiting and training crew and then spent his evening on Christine's to-do list. Rachel had been moved to a secure safe house to heal up. Incidentally, it was two doors down from Mike and Christine's and Christine was one of the few non-Navy visitors, only because Rachel had been insistent. Despite Christine's advancing pregnancy, she helped Rachel with showers, bandaging and other personal needs. The government was willing to hire and pay for a nurse, but Rachel was private.

On one particular night, Mike was late getting home and only half finished his honey-do list before exhaustion gave way and he climbed into bed next to Christine, who was compiling his list for the next day. Mike laid down and started to curl around Christine, but she stopped him.

"Mike, I'm hot and uncomfortable. I also really need to finish this too." Christine said as she pushed him away.

"Better add what I didn't get done tonight. I couldn't hang pictures up because Katie had gone to bed. I didn't want to wake her. What time is your doctor's appointment tomorrow?" Mike asked. Christine had an appointment with an OB/GYN the next day. They would be discussing delivery options and getting to see a better ultrasound of the babies.

"One pm. Are you going to be there?" Christine asked.

"That's the plan. I told Tom that I had to take off about eleven. I'll pick you up. Maybe after, we can try and find a place to eat a late lunch?" Mike asked.

"We can try. I doubt there is anywhere open though." Christine stated.

"I'd like at least one evening to get the baby room ready. You're about ready to pop." Mike remarked.

"Nice, Mike. Telling me that I'm fat." Christine stated.

"You are 35 weeks along with twins. You could have them any day. If the room is organized, then we will know what we still need to get before they arrive. And, we still need to pick names out." Mike explained.

"Yes, Mike. I know that I am unorganized this pregnancy. Remember, in the past eight months, I've dealt with a pandemic, keeping our daughters and my mom alive, losing a son, being pregnant with twins, living on a destroyer for almost three months, moving into a house that I hate and a husband who only seems to want to spend time at work. Probably has something to do with his engineering officer and…" Christine kept on, but Mike sat up in bed.

"I'm going to sleep in the extra room. Just don't forget; I lost a son too. Thought you four were dead. Lost crew. Got shot. Dealt with my wife's accusations of adultery. I will be there for you tomorrow and throughout the delivery, but I am getting a bit sick of this. As soon as the James is ready, I will be deployed, and I would really like to spend them time with my wife and children, but you just keep heaping on lists. I keep putting off hanging pictures up because I can't grip the hammer. My hand is numb all the time. Now, I am going to bed. Good night. I love you." Mike said before getting out of bed and walking out without giving Christine a chance to answer.

They both went to bed separately. Christine hadn't noticed that Mike was having trouble with his arm. She knew that he had dropped several things and seemed to be wringing his hand a lot. It told her that there was probably nerve damage from the bullet wound but there wasn't much that could be done with it. Before the pandemic, there would have been options, but those options were gone now. Christine knew that Mike might benefit from some deep-tissue massages and was more then happy to do it for him, but he had to cool down first. She laid in bed, weighing her options. Just as she got up to go into the guest room, she felt her water break. Her back had been bothering her all night but she had thought it was from being so pregnant. She had no option, she had to wake Mike up. She made her way to the guestroom and couldn't help but smile down at her sleeping husband.

"Mike, we have to go. My water just broke." Christine said as she gently shook him. It took him a second to register what she was saying but he finally jumped up. Christine had turned the light on and noticed how irritated the scar was from Mike's wound. It worried her but another contraction hit.

"How far apart?" Mike asked as he threw on a pair of pants and a shirt that he had grabbed from their bedroom.

"I don't really know. I had been having some back pain all night but didn't think it was labor. My water broke and that was my first real contraction. Oww…" Christine finished with a sob and another contraction.

"Shit. Okay, lets go. Let me grab your bag." Mike said as he grabbed Christine's go bag from by their bedroom door.

"We aren't ready." Christine said simply as he helped her down the stairs.

"We aren't, but the babies are, and we go by their schedule." Mike said. They had made it downstairs and Mike stepped into Mary's room and woke her up to let her know they were headed for the hospital. As Christine had waited, she called Rachel.

 _"How quick can you get to the hospital?" Christine asked._

 _"Let me throw some clothes on and I will go with you." Rachel said before hanging up. She'd have to deal with her security team, but they would figure that out later. Sure enough, by the time that Mike and Christine made their way to the new SUV that had been provided for them, Rachel was walking down the sidewalk. Her security team would follow them._

Mike made the trip to the hospital in no time. Rachel had called ahead and there was a team waiting. Due to how fast Christine's labors went, they had to be prepared. They got her into a room and an on-call OB/GYN was there assessing her.

"Alright, it is definitely baby time. Unfortunately, your labor has progressed enough that we can't give you an epidural. I'm sorry." Dr. Davis explained. Despite not having met her, Christine was at ease.

"Not my first delivery without an epidural. Let's do this." Christine said. She had positioned Mike to where she wouldn't be gripping Mike's bad hand. Rachel got on the other side.

"Alright, baby A is already crowning. He or she is in a hurry to meet Mom and Dad." Dr. Davis stated. Another contraction had hit, and Christine began pushing.

"C'mon. You can do it." Mike said in an encouraging tone.

"It hurts…ow…" Christine cried out as she continued to bare down.

"Alright, that was a big push, and do you have one more for this baby?" Dr. Davis asked.

"Yeah, Mike can you get behind me?" Christine asked. Mike immediately sat behind Christine and massaged her lower back with his bad hand.

"Okay, here comes another one. One, two…" Dr. Davis stated. Rachel was coaching Christine a little more quietly.

"Oww…" Christine said as she started pushing again.

"That's it…here he comes. Ready?" Dr. Davis asked just as a loud cry sounded. Rachel lowered Christine's hospital gown so that the baby boy could have the skin-to-skin contact. He was crying angrily. Mike had moved to where he could cut the umbilical cord and touch the baby. They got a couple minutes with him before the nurse took him away. Their baby girl was well on her way.

"You're doing great, Christine. Keep going." Rachel encouraged. Christine was watching the nurse with her new son and just nodded in response.

"Yep, a couple pushes, and you'll be done." Dr. Davis stated. Just as soon as she spoke, Christine began pushing again.

"You're doing great, babe." Mike said as he kissed the top of her head.

"I'm havin' my tubes tied after this, oww…" Christine said with a laugh.

"Another good push and you'll be meeting Mr. Noisy's sister." Dr. Davis told her. Within thirty seconds, Christine was pushing again. After a yell, there was another cry that filled the room. The baby girl was put on Christine's chest and Rachel had tears rolling down her cheeks at the beautiful moment.

"She's perfect." Rachel stated.

"They both are." One of the nurses remarked.

"We always do this part really well." Christine said as she kissed the baby. Mike had cut the umbilical cord and taken the baby boy who had been cleaned up, measured, weighed and checked over. The nurse had taken their daughter to do the same with her.

"Do we have names?" Another of the nurses asked.

"Mike? I have a suggestion for her, if you're okay with it. Name her after Molly but spell it M-O-L-L-E-I-GH. For her middle name, Jessica but spell it J-E-S-S-E-K-A. Molleigh Jesseka. Not exactly like your sisters, but close. What do you think?" Christine asked.

"I…really love that. She looks like a Molleigh too." Mike said as he looked at his daughter from across the room. Christine reached up and kissed his cheek.

"So, yes? What about him?" Christine asked.

"Yes, she's Molleigh. And I really liked Patrick for him. Patrick James?" Mike asked. James had been his adopted dad's name and Lucas had almost been a James.

"Patrick and Molleigh. Perfect." Christine agreed. She leaned back and kissed Mike. The nurse had brought Molleigh back and Mike had ahold of her. Rachel had backed away so the couple could have their moment. Watching Mike with Christine and their babies gave her a new perspective on Mike. She had seen him with his older daughters, but there was something more tender.

Rachel didn't stay very long, knowing Mike and Christine needed the private time with their new babies. Although slightly small, both babies were healthy and once fed; were completely happy. Rachel would have the nursery set up, with the help of the Nathan James crew before Mike and Christine came home.

Mike had called to let Mary know that the babies and Christine were doing well. Tom had also been notified since Mike wouldn't be into work at all. They hadn't discussed their argument, choosing to concentrate on their new babies. Patrick and Molleigh were surprise babies, but their parents were completely in love with them.

Patrick looked a lot like Mike and had a temper. He did seem calmer when his sister was near him. Molleigh looked a lot like Christine. Dark hair and chubby cheeks. It looked like her eyes would be brown, but it was too soon to tell. Patrick weighed seven pounds and one ounce, while Molleigh was five pounds and fifteen ounces. He was also almost twenty inches long while she was sixteen inches long. Mike had taken to calling her 'Short Stuff.' The babies went to sleep about five and Christine was fighting sleep, but she wanted to check Mike's arm first.

"Okay, Mike; I know this is going to hurt but it might help with the numbness in your hand." Christine said as she massaged his bicep. At the same time, she was also massaging his wrist. At first, he was tense but finally began to loosen up.

"That feels…like all the blood is circulating back into my hand. Its tingly." Mike remarked.

"Until you deploy; I will need to do this at least twice a day. Here, let me see that hand?" Christine said and Mike gave her his hand. She began massaging his palm gently.

"It feels better but you just gave birth to twins. I should be giving you a back massage or something." Mike commented.

"No worries. I will take a rain check on that massage though, until you regain some strength in this hand. Before the Red Flu, there would be procedures and such that could be done, and you do need to let Tom know about this, but I know it won't stop you from being deployed. Maybe before but not now." Christine stated.

"If I could stay home, I would. This cure has to be distributed, you understand?" Mike asked.

"I know and understand, Mike. I am even proud of you for it but that doesn't mean that I have like it. The next several years, this will be our life. You coming into town for a month or two and then leaving again. So, we make the most of the time we have, and we take lots of pictures so Molleigh and Patrick will know how much their daddy loves them. Same goes for Katie and Hannah." Christine said before giving him a kiss.

"I love you." Mike stated.

"I love you too, even when I don't act like it. Sorry about earlier." Christine responded. She had stopped massaging his arm and hand and had laid back down in bed.

"Its okay. I hope that isn't why you went into labor?" Mike asked.

"I was probably already in labor. Let's get some rest." Christine told him and he settled next to her. The babies were sleeping in their bassinet and Mike knew his to-do list would be rushed but he was enjoying the calm before the storm.


	12. Chapter 12

**What If**

Chapter 12

Mollie and Patrick were perfectly healthy, but the doctor choose to keep them and Christine in the hospital an extra night due to Mollie being on the smaller side. Her newborn sleeper practically swallowed her. Like most babies, she also lost a couple ounces. Mike could have opted to go home to get things ready but choose to stay with Christine and their babies. Hopefully, he could get it done by the time he deployed.

Little did he or Christine know, the nursery was completely set up and ready for them by the Nathan James crew and Rachel. Christine had picked out paint colors and what crib bedding she wanted, along with other accessories. Tom knew that Mike felt strongly about putting the cribs together himself, so that was the only thing that was left undone. Mike would put them together and the bedding could be put on easily. Otherwise, everything was setup.

The hospital had provided them with car seats so Mike could bring Christine, Mollie and Patrick home without having to procure them first. The babies slept through the short car ride, having nursed just before they left the hospital. Christine was sore and groaned with every bump in the road.

"Sorry, I am trying to avoid them. Missouri roads leave a lot to be desired." Mike remarked after Christine groaned. They were about five minutes from home and all he wanted was to get Christine home and in bed. This birth had worn her out, probably more so because as she had said, 'I'm not in my twenties anymore.'

"Its okay. Not your fault. Just going to be glad to get home." Christine admitted. She was sitting in the backseat with the babies but leaned forward and rubbed Mike's shoulder.

"I figured we would get you and them upstairs and into bed. I would work on the nursery." Mike stated.

"We can wait on the nursery. They'll be in the bassinet tonight anyway. You are as tired as I am. I do hope I can convince the girls to nap with me. I love that we have more room but that is something I miss from being on the James. I feel disconnected." Christine remarked.

"I'll talk to them. I've missed it too." Mike admitted. He pulled into their driveway and came to the passenger side back door to help Christine out. As soon as she was squarely on her feet; he took Patrick out of the car seat and handed him over and then went around to get Mollie out and the diaper bag out. Christine waited on him and they walked in together. The girls and Mary were in the kitchen and began hollering happily when they came into view. They hadn't been able to visit even though Tom had offered to drive them. Hannah had had a severe asthma attack and needed to stay home and away from sick people.

"Let's see those beautiful babies." Mary said as Christine eased down on the couch. Mike gave Mollie to her because Hannah was staying backed away. He wasn't sure if it was from exhaustion or jealousy, but she needed some cuddles. He sat down on the recliner and pulled her onto his lap. Kaitlyn had sat down next to her mother and was making faces at the now awake Patrick.

"How are you feeling?" Mike asked Hannah quietly.

"Just so tired." Hannah said as she cuddled close.

"Mom is too. We are wanting to have a slumber party in our room. You good with that?" Mike asked.

"Yeah!" Hannah said excitedly.

"With the babies?" Mike asked.

"Yeah, that's fine. I just want you and Momma." Hannah said.

"You've been really excited for Mollie and Patrick; you don't want to hold them?" Mike questioned.

"I do but I don't want them to get sick like me." Hannah stated.

"Oh, sweetie, what you have isn't contagious. Contagious means that it can be passed from one person to the next easily. The babies will be fine if you want to hold them." Mike assured her.

"Oh. Can we go to bed now?" Hannah asked.

"Yeah. Christine, Hannah is all for our slumber party. You ready to go up?" Mike asked.

"I am. Katie, you coming with us?" Christine asked.

"Yeah. Grandma, what are you doing?" Katie asked.

"I am going to stay down here and cook dinner. This is your time together. I will have lots of time to cuddle with these two later." Mary explained.

"You sure, Mom? Mike can help you up the stairs." Christine asked.

"I am. You guys do need to sneak a look into the nursery." Mary said with a mischievous look on her face.

"Why? We know there's stuff to be done. Mike and I both need to rest before we tackle it." Christine asked.

"Just take a look." Mary ordered in a voice that neither Mike or Christine would argue with. The girls also had the same mischievous look as Mary and so Mike and Christine both knew a surprise awaited them. Kaitlyn handed Patrick back to Christine because she was nervous to carry him up the stairs and Mike took Molleigh. Mary gave Christine a kiss on the cheek with a promise to let them know if she needed anything.

Christine had trouble getting up the stairs and Mike had to put a hand in the middle of her back to support her. When they finally reached the second-floor landing, the girls disappeared into their rooms to change into pajamas. Mike and Christine walked into the nursery in complete shock.

"Its exactly how I wanted it." Christine said with tears in her voice.

"They left the cribs for me to do." Mike remarked with a smile. He had put the cribs together for each of his kids. It was something that he felt strongly about doing. It was his job as their dad to make sure they had a safe place to sleep in. As their kids got older, Mike had always timed out their moves until when he was home. As odd as it sounded, he wanted to be the ones to put the beds together, even as they got older.

"And made it to where I could put the bedding on them." Christine added. Mike put the beds together and Christine fixed them up for their kids.

"Its perfect. Here, a note?" Mike said as he handed a piece of paper to Christine and took Patrick from her, holding each baby.

"It says, _'We knew that life has been crazy for you all and so we thought we would have the room semi-ready for little Patrick and Molleigh. There are still a few projects for their mommy and daddy to complete but it will be baby ready. There is also another surprise for Mommy in the master bedroom. (Sorry, XO). Enjoy and be ready for visitors that will be baby hogs in a couple days. –Much Love, The Nathan James Crew and Rachel'_ Christine finished reading the note with tears in her voice, but still smiled.

"This is incredible." Mike stated.

"It is perfect. Let's go in our room and change?" Christine suggested as she took Molleigh.

"Yes, ma'am. Just a thought, Hannah is afraid to hold the babies because she is afraid of them getting her asthma. I told her it wasn't contagious, but…" Mike explained.

"I'll talk to her." Christine said as they exited the nursery and walked across the hall to their own bedroom. On the bed; there was a huge basket filled with things for Christine. A comfortable nightgown, robe and slippers, a book by her favorite author and a few personal products that she would need since she was nursing as much as possible. "How sweet. I think I am going to change into that." Christine stated as she put Molleigh in the bassinet. Mike laid Patrick next to her and smiled when the babies snuggled close to each other. He loved how close they liked to be to each other.

"Go ahead. I'm changing into my pajama pants and a t-shirt too." Mike said as he pulled the items out of his dresser. She disappeared into the bathroom and Mike shut the door and quickly changed. By the time Christine came back in, he had the bed ready for them and the girls were snuggling up. Mike gave Kaitlyn Molleigh and took Patrick for Hannah to hold with his assistance. Christine grabbed her nursing pillow and sat down next to Kaitlyn.

They spent the next several hours marveling over the babies, cuddling with the older girls and resting. Molleigh and Patrick were soaking up the attention of their big sisters and already had favorites. Patrick was all about Hannah and Molleigh seemed to love Kaitlyn. A few hours later, Mary called for Mike to help her carry dinner up. She'd made Christine's favorite soup and while the family ate; got her turn to cuddle the babies.

Mike and Christine were both aware the feeling of euphoria wouldn't last. They had a couple weeks before he left but they were determined that they would enjoy the time they had. It was the only way they would all get through it.


	13. Chapter 13

**What If**

Chapter 13

The euphoria only lasted about three weeks before the James was ready to disembark. They were tasked to deliver the cure all down Mexico's East Coast, as well as the East Coast of South America. They would be making stops along the West Coast as well and then on to Hawaii and then Asia. The one good thing was that he could call home, but he would miss his family.

Christine had taken the news as well as he expected her to, even accepting that Andrea would be the XO with little complaint. She was exhausted and Mike hated leaving her so soon. Christine was still trying to nurse Patrick and Molleigh but was having to supplement with formula because they were so demanding.

Mike had finished all his little projects in the three weeks and had spent valuable time with his older girls. He had told himself that he wasn't going to bond with the twins because he would be gone so much. He felt it would be easier for them if he didn't, but it was easier said then done. Patrick reminded him so much of Lucas and Mike had always been a bit of a softie for his baby girls. Molleigh had him completely wrapped around her little finger.

It was only supposed to be a six-month deployment, certainly not the longest of Mike's career but he was very uneasy about it. He had decided that when he got home, he was going to ask for a land position. Leaving was a lot harder then he imagined it being.

The morning he was to deploy, he got up early with Molleigh so Christine could sleep. The baby was less then thrilled with her bottle and let Mike know all about it, but she also was a cuddler and that was what Mike needed. He had carried her into the nursery so not to wake Patrick or Christine up and rocked her gently.

"Baby girl, I am sorry to have to leave so soon. I will miss you all so much. Promise me that you will behave for Mommy? Not keep her up all night? And I need Patrick to do the same thing." Mike quietly talked to the infant who gave him a beautiful smile in response. He heard something in the hallway and looked up to see Hannah at the door. He gestured for her to come in and she climbed up on his lap. "Couldn't sleep? Its only four." Mike asked.

"How long are you going to be gone?" Hannah asked.

"Supposed to be six months." Mike told her.

"So, you'll miss my birthday?" Hannah asked. Her birthday was in April and there was no way he'd be home for it.

"I'm sorry, sweetie. I will try really hard to call home." Mike stated, not wanting to make any promises. Hannah had tears in her big brown eyes and had worked herself off his lap. Her bottom lip and chin was quavering and Mike was worried about her having an asthma attack.

"I wish you would just stay home." Hannah said before running out of the nursery. He heard her bedroom door slam shut and Patrick began crying in the master bedroom. He stood up to try and settle his son before Christine woke up, but she was already up, picking him up out of the bassinet.

"Was that a slamming door?" Christine asked sleepily. She had sat down on bed and adjusted her nightgown so that Patrick could nurse. The baby immediately latched on as Christine rocked him back and forth.

"Yeah, Hannah is upset because I will be missing her birthday." Mike stated.

"You've missed the last two, Mike. I understand it but she doesn't. Last year, you were in Washington and couldn't get home and the year before; you were in the Indian Ocean. She'll be nine. How many birthdays does that make that you've missed with her?" Christine asked.

"Out of eight, I've missed five with her and six with Katie." Mike stated. He wasn't exactly proud of the fact.

"I'll talk to her and I do understand what you are having to do. Eventually Hannah and Katie will understand it too. Hannah loves you. Why don't you give me Molleigh and go talk to her for a bit? I don't want you to leave with ill feelings between the two of you. Too much could happen." Christine asked.

"It's a humanitarian trip. Nothing will happen." Mike remarked as he handed Molleigh over.

"Never know. Didn't think anything would happen the last trip out either. Just go talk to her." Christine ordered.

"True." Mike said before walking out of their bedroom. He walked to Hannah's bedroom door and heard her sobbing on the other side, but what really worried him was that she was also breathing heavily. He opened the door and found her sprawled across her bed, face down. "Hannah, come on. Sit up. It'll help you breathe." Mike instructed as he picked her up. Her little body was rigid against his own and he carried her into the master bedroom where her inhaler and mom was close.

"Asthma attack?" Christine asked.

"Getting there but she was kind of rigid, so I brought her in here." Mike explained as he sat Hannah down next to Christine. She passed Mike both babies and pulled Hannah onto her lap, nestling her close.

"Okay, breath in and out, nice and slow. That's it." Christine instructed as she ran her hand through Hannah's hair. Mike had put both babies back in the bassinet and sat down beside Christine, prepared to take Hannah, but Hannah shook her head at him angrily. He had to leave in a few hours, and he wanted things patched up with her beforehand. It took a couple moments for the breathing to get better but Mike was at a total loss. Christine nodded at him and put Hannah on her feet, facing Christine and Mike. "Listen, I know that you are upset about your dad being gone over your birthday, but he doesn't want to be. He has to go and make sure no one else gets sick. So, when he comes home; I will make sure that we have another birthday party just for you, so your dad can be there, okay? Now, he has to go in a few hours, and I know how much you love his hugs. If you don't give him one now; you'll miss it later, plus he'll miss it too." Christine said as she pushed Hannah onto Mike's lap.

"I am sorry, sweetheart. I want to be here so much." Mike said into her hair. Thankfully, Hannah wasn't so stiff, and he could hug her properly. As he pulled away, he could see the exhaustion on her face. It was a typical reaction to even her near-attacks but it still made his heart hurt. He picked her up and laid her down in the middle of the bed. Even though Christine was only almost four weeks out from delivering the twins, he would have liked to at least be able to make out with his wife, but Hannah's health was too important to both of them. "Sorry, but I figured you would want her in here with us." Mike remarked as he gave Christine a kiss. Hannah was already asleep.

"Wouldn't be the first time that we've had a kid in bed with us the night before deployment. While I would really love to do what your suggesting and I do miss it; it just isn't feasible right now. When you get back, I will have lost all this weight and we can maybe plan a romantic weekend or something? I know you are not romantic but just a night in hotel would be nice, without being hugely pregnant or nursing. Maybe even a steak dinner?" Christine offered.

"I bet we can make that happen. For what it's worth, I don't care about the weight and I will try and be romantic." Mike stated and Christine laughed. They were both climbing into bed, on either side of Hannah and Christine reached across and squeezed Mike's hand.

"You have jokes and I know, Mike. I love you." Christine said. Fortunately, Molleigh and Patrick were asleep, and Hannah had wrapped herself around Mike. Hannah was a cuddler and generally would cuddle with anyone at any time, but from the time she was a small child, she had been Mike's 'cuddle buddy.' He would miss those cuddles when he was gone on deployment because he knew, Hannah was getting to old for them.

"I love you too." Mike responded.

By eight am, Mike was up and preparing to leave. Due to it being cool, Christine, Mary and the kids were staying home. Mike preferred his goodbyes being done privately anyway. He had never minded Christine bringing the kids to the docks when he got home but hated them being there when he left.

There were tears from both older girls. Hannah was still tired and reserved but Mike promised to be home by summer and that they would have a special day out for her birthday. Just her and him. Kaitlyn had gotten used to Mike's deployments and fortunately or unfortunately, handled it like an old pro. She hugged him and cried but faded into the background. Mike took a few moments with both Molleigh and Patrick, knowing by the time he got back, they would be almost seven months old. He was going to be missing a lot. Mike gave Mary a hug and then Christine followed him out on the porch where he would be waiting for Tom to pick him up. He sat down on the porch swing and checked the straps on his sea-bag.

"Your uniforms are washed and pressed. Your whites are also in there but will need to be pressed as well. There are pictures of the kids, Mom and I; along with notes from us. I also was able to find some cigars and your chocolate candies that you like. There's gum and mints in there as well." Christine filled him in.

"Good. I didn't have time to update my will, to…not include Lucas or to add Molleigh and Patrick. They are on all my paperwork where the Navy is concerned. Since the banks aren't open right now, you'll get a voucher for my pay. It can be taken to the commissary and cashed out for groceries and whatever else. You can get formula and diapers there too. Clothes for the kids. Everything you need. We have no bills. House and vehicle are part of my package. I put the representative's card in the notebook on the desk. I know you already have Kara's number, but it's written down too. Jed is also close by." Mike explained. They had had the same conversation before every deployment, but Mike generally had more time to prepare. He would change the oil in their vehicles, change light bulbs that Christine couldn't reach easily, make sure that their filters were all changed in the heat and air returns, and clean and load the gun for Christine. The only thing he had done was load the gun that was in their room. Everything else was just not done.

"We will be fine. You just take care of yourself. Call and email too." Christine said as Tom's truck drove up the street. They both stood up and Mike pulled Christine into a hug.

"I will. Tom is also close so you can call him if you need anything. And I know you won't say it so I will, I know you are nervous about Andrea. Nothing will happen. I love you and that is not going to change. She is a friend and I won't apologize for that, but it will be kept professional. Trust me, okay?" Mike told her and then kissed Christine's forehead.

"I love you too and I will." Christine answered and then gave Mike a long and deep kiss. Tom had pulled up in the driveway and was waiting.

"We are really bad at goodbyes." Mike commented as he pulled away.

"So, don't say goodbye. I love you's will have to suffice." Christine said with a smile.

"Well, I definitely do. I'd better go. Can you kiss the kids everyday for me?" Mike asked as he picked up his bag.

"Yep. And don't worry about them, especially Hannah. She'll be alright. Try to call home on her birthday." Christine mentioned.

"I will." Mike told her as he gave her one more kiss on the cheek and then stepped off the porch. Christine opened the front door, not wanting to watch Mike leave.

"Go, Mike. We all love you, so much more then you could imagine." Christine said.

"I love you all too, so much." Mike said as he walked to Tom's truck. The goodbye felt odd, almost shortened, but at least the important stuff was said.


	14. Chapter 14

**What If**

Chapter 14-4 months later

The kids missed Mike, but he called every other day and had even had a lengthy conversation with Hannah on her birthday. They had settled into the house and made it a home and Christine was turning the backyard into a garden. The previous owners had had raised flower beds that Christine used for all sorts of vegetables. She was not looking forward to the canning but liked not being completely dependent on others to feed her family. They also had an apple and peach tree in their yard that would be producing, and Tom had a cherry tree in his yard that Christine would utilize on the promise that she would make Tom at least one cherry pie.

Molleigh and Patrick were growing like weeds. They were well loved and spoiled by their doting grandma and big sisters. The government representative had suggested to Christine that she go back to work, but was told that until Mike returned home, it wasn't an option and Kara and Tom backed her up. Christine was not sure if she would ever return to work and she didn't trust the representative or Allison Shaw. The woman made her skin crawl.

Mike had been gone for four months and Christine was eagerly awaiting his return. She had missed him. Tom had contacted her to let her know that he would be traveling to the same area that Mike was, in Asia. She sent a couple updated photos of the twins since he hadn't been able to receive any emails with attachments.

When Mike missed the first call home, Christine figured that he was busy, distributing the cure and entertaining Tom. When he didn't call the next day, Christine started worrying. She was an experienced military spouse though and wouldn't think to call up the chain because she missed hearing her husband's voice. She couldn't excuse away the feeling in her gut.

 **The Island**

Mike was beginning to wonder if he would be coming home in a casket. The blood loss was wearing him down and he couldn't get a read on what was going on. Takehaya was confusing, at best. While, he didn't like the beating that Miller and Dias took, what happened to Garnett was far worse.

She tried to put on a good front, but Mike knew. She had been sexually assaulted. Mike wasn't sure who the assailant was, but suspected that it wasn't Takaheya. All he could really do was try to protect Andrea from another attack. In the meantime, she was just putting one foot in front of the other.

It made Mike nervous, that Andrea was going to have to be the one to put the metal braid into the radio tower, and would have volunteered, but it would be obvious if he slipped away. He had the experience in engineering as well, having been a CHENG before becoming XO, much like Andrea. She could slip away a lot easier while he occupied Takehaya's second-in-command; until Andrea's absence was noted. Mike feared that her punishment wouldn't just include a beating.

What he didn't account for was Kyoko defending and lying for Andrea. It probably saved Andrea's life. Jeter had also suspected the rape, but Rios, Dias and Miller we oblivious and Mike would keep the secret until they got back on the James, and then Rios would have to be told. Mike knew the two young sailors would not stop respecting their XO because of what happened to her, but he still wanted to give her some dignity.

The metal braid had done its job and within just twelve hours, they were in a gun-fight with the Chinese Secret Service, but at least Tom had found them. The rescue operation was not without its losses though. The deaths would haunt Mike for years to come.

Andrea had loaned her quarters to Tom, but it left her with a bit of an issue. She needed to shower badly but didn't want to go to the officer's shower room. She didn't want anyone to know what had happened to her, so Mike allowed her to use his shower and stepped out of the quarters to give her privacy. He walked to ward room in his sweats and t-shirt because he hadn't showered yet, knowing that Andrea had a psychological need for the shower. Tom was in the room, drinking coffee and reviewing some notes. He slipped an envelope out of his bag and handed it to Mike.

"What's this?" Mike asked.

"Compliments of your wife. I didn't look so if there are any X-rated pictures in there, I don't want to know. I like Christine but I don't need that imagery." Tom teased as Mike opened the envelope. He smiled at the pictures of Patrick and Molleigh. They were cute as little buttons and there were also a few pictures of Hannah and Katie. It made him miss them that much more.

"Thanks." Mike said quietly. Bacon walked in with a dinner for Mike, steak, broccoli, a baked potato and apricots. Normally, Mike would have loved it, but he pushed the food around.

"I know I have said this before, but I am not your mother; you need to eat, Mike. I can't imagine you ate well there." Tom remarked.

"They actually fed us this same stuff. Iron rich foods." Mike explained. He just couldn't eat it and pushed the food away from him. Bacon walked back in with a confused look. "Bacon, you eat it. I'll…eat some oatmeal with cinnamon and brown sugar. Lots of butter." Mike ordered as he handed the plate back over. The meal was a treat for Bacon, and not so much for Mike.

"Yes, sir." Bacon agreed as he took the food away. A few moments later, a large bowl of oatmeal appeared, just the way Mike ordered it. Mike wasn't really hungry, but he wanted to give Andrea the time she needed.

"Figured you would shower before you came to the ward room, you kind of smell." Tom teased.

"Since its just the two of us, I need to let you know. Garnett was assaulted on the island." Mike said simply. He figured that Tom would understand without it actually being said.

"You all were assaulted. You look like you went a few rounds too." Tom remarked.

"Physically, yes; but Garnett's attack went beyond that." Mike hinted again. Tom was just not computing.

"Other then that brand on her arm, I didn't notice anything, and you have that too." Tom remarked. For as brilliant as Tom was, he could be a bit dense.

"She's been sexually assaulted, Tom." Mike finally told him.

"I…asked her if she was alright. She said…well, she never said yes or no. Are you sure? I know you would never allow it to happen, so you must not have been there." Tom asked.

"I was a cop for several years. She was raped. And she has told me a few things, because she needs to get it off her chest and she knows I was a cop. She doesn't want anyone else to know but I figured it would be beneficial to have you know. Russ is going to speak with her a bit more. She is actually using my shower right now, so she would have some privacy." Mike answered. He noticed the odd look that Tom gave him but ignored it.

"Mike, I hate what has happened to her and I understand wanting to be her friend. I will help her, but…you need to be careful. You're married. I'm not anymore. People…suspect. Gossip. You and Andrea…there's a spark there. I see it and so do a lot of people, including Christine. She's uneasy about Andrea, correct?" Tom asked. Mike took a deep breath before addressing Tom.

"I have told her many times that I won't cheat on her. And even if I would, with what Andrea has been through, I wouldn't do that to her. And I wouldn't do it to Christine." Mike stated.

"Alright, Mike. I won't argue. Just remember, you have a wife at home. A wife who already is just a bit jealous. I know that the two of you had issues before, and now you have twins, a dead son and Christine isn't particularly happy with the house. Do you have a plan once you get home?" Tom asked.

"Where Christine is concerned? I was thinking of asking for a land position and definitely taking her for a long weekend." Mike answered.

"You should definitely do that. When's the last time you and Christine did that?" Tom asked. Mike was almost finished with his oatmeal and was surprised by Tom's questions.

"Well, the twins are four months old so…over a year." Mike stated.

"You mean you and she didn't…never mind. Twins." Tom answered himself. It made Mike laugh.

"We went from my stateroom to the hotel. She was exhausted, and then the twins were born, and she was healing up from that. I'm not so crass that I won't give my wife time to heal up after giving birth." Mike explained.

"Looks like she's lost all that weight." Tom stated as he pointed a picture of Christine holding Molleigh. It was true. Christine had lost all of the weight she'd put on during the pregnancy and in Mike's opinion, was completely beautiful. Mike had never expected her to weigh a certain amount or look a certain way.

"Yeah, she looks great. Don't worry about Andrea. I won't do anything off-color. She just needs her friends. Does…Christine know about this?" Mike said as he gestured at a picture of the island.

"Takehaya was able to broadcast it. Sorry, Mike. She knows and you can't call home." Tom stated.

 **St. Louis**

Christine rocked Hannah back and forth. She had suffered by far the worst asthma attack of her life. The third one since the news coverage of Mike and his crew's kidnapping. It didn't help that it was ran on a loop constantly. Christine didn't just worry about Mike and his crew, but was terrified for Hannah, especially when their representative suddenly refused to get Hannah's medications for her. Allison Shaw's comment bit.

"Perhaps if you would get your husband to cooperate once he's rescued, that little brat could have her medicines." Allison Shaw had stated. Michener was dead, Tom was on the James and Christine couldn't get ahold of Kara.

"Momma, is Daddy going to die? He had blood all over his face and looked sick. I was so mean to him. I didn't even tell him that I love him." Hannah said as Christine wiped her tears.

"You told him that you loved him when he called last time, remember? And on your birthday? Let's talk about your party. What kind of cake do you want?" Christine asked, trying to get Hannah off subject.

"A chocolate one but I really want Daddy to be here for it." Hannah said as new tears flowed. All Christine knew to do was wipe the tears and pray that Mike made it home. If he didn't, they would lose their little girl.


	15. Chapter 15

**What If**

Chapter 15

Christine was terrified. Hannah was not getting any better and one of her rescue inhalers was empty. The other had precious little left. Rachel's security team had whisked her away, but not before Rachel had 'borrowed' a full oxygen tank, tubing and a non-rebreather mask for Christine to use on Hannah. That had been the saving grace but eventually they would run out of oxygen in the tank and Christine had no way to refill it.

She had moved her girls into her own bedroom and the baby's cribs were also in the bedroom. Mary even stayed in the bedroom with them and Christine kept Mike's gun in a holster on her belt. She hated being so paranoid and was exhausted. She was not hearing anything about if Mike and his crew had been rescued, but apparently Tom had committed treason. Kara and Tex had kidnapped the newly, sworn in President and there was some sort of coup going on within the government.

Christine kept her head down, not making any waves, knowing that she and her children would be a target. One night, Christine was rocking Molleigh to sleep when she heard someone opening and shutting car doors. She peaked out the windows and saw a government SUV. Part of her prayed that it was Mike and Tom, but she knew better. Shaw's minions had shown up. Christine put Molleigh in her crib, next to Patrick. Mary and both the girls were sleeping, and so Christine pulled the gun out of her waistband and took it off safety and began walking down the steps.

When Mike had been a cop, Christine had spent a lot of time with him, training. Hand to hand combat and time at the range had been their 'dates.' Mike needed to work on his skills, and it was the only time they could square away. She had ended up enjoying the time.

Christine was half way down the stairs when the first of the 'security detail' that Shaw had implemented came at her. He was not prepared for her to already have a gun drawn and she had fired a shot, hitting him in the chest and killing him immediately. The second guy now had the drop on Christine and threw her down the steps, causing Christine to lose the gun that had been in her hand.

The beating that ensued was unbelievable, but finally Christine was able to get to the kitchen where she grabbed a knife and plunged it into the hitman's chest. Apparently, Shaw had underestimated Christine because she had only sent two men to do whatever her plan was. Christine had kicked both weapons away from the men and was taking a breath, wiping blood off her face when her front door opened again. She couldn't see who walked in, but grabbed her gun off the floor, ready to fight again when she seen Tex, Kara and Rachel come around the corner. The newly appointed President and Tex's daughter, Kathleen was also with them.

"Oh, thank God." Christine stated. Kara took the gun away and Rachel began assessing her injuries. Tex and the President were both checking over the two men and looking at Christine in shock.

"You did this?" President Oliver asked.

"Ah…yeah." Christine admitted.

"Alright, Kara and I will take care of these two; Mrs. Slattery, I need you to get your family packed up. We're headed to California. NOW." Tex ordered and Christine nodded. She was beginning to feel guilty for what had happened. She was a nurse and had just killed two men. She knew it would make her sound insecure, but she just wanted her husband.

"Mike? Is…he alive?" Christine asked with tears in her eyes.

"Yes, he's alive. Let's get you, your mom and the kids to him." Rachel stated. Rachel, Kathleen and President Oliver helped Christine up the stairs and into the master bedroom. Both babies were awake, and Mary had kept the girls in the bedroom when they heard the commotion and gunshots. Hannah was having some breathing issues, but Rachel had produced a new inhaler and the medications she needed.

Between Kathleen, the President and Rachel; they were quickly packed up and put into an older model SUV. Christine was still numb from what she had done and had several broken ribs, a possible concussion, fractured wrist, broken nose and a bad cut at her hairline. She really needed to go to a hospital but that was the first place Shaw would look for them. The house was locked up and they headed west. They had grabbed groceries out of Christine's pantry but would need to replenish at some point.

Christine apparently went to sleep because the next time she woke up, they were in Colorado and had her head leaned onto Mary's shoulder. As packed into the SUV as they were, the kids were happy. President Oliver was a natural with Molleigh and Patrick and Hannah was cuddled into his side. Kathleen and Katie had become fast friends and Rachel and Mary were fussing over Christine.

Most of the drive was fuzzy for Christine and she could barely nurse the babies. Thankfully, they had plenty of formula and somehow Tex had come up with even more in Nevada. They had given the last of their supplies to an old man in a gas station and the kids were getting hungry.

They made it to San Diego, running on fumes. The kids were getting grumpy and Christine was hurting. They were on a beach, waiting for the James, when they seen a ship exploding in the distance. Kara ran into the water, screaming but Christine just stood back and began crying. President Oliver was holding the kids back and Mary was in the SUV with the babies. Rachel pulled Christine into a hug and just let her cry.

"I just want my husband." Christine sobbed.

"I know. I know." Rachel said.

"I hate to hurry you guys, but we have to go, now." Tex said as he rushed them to the SUV. Thankfully, Kaitlyn and Hannah hadn't grasped that Mike was on the ship that exploded. Once Hannah figured it out, Christine wouldn't just be losing her husband, but also would lose her daughter.

Tex drove them to the docks at the Naval Base, hoping to get a grasp as to what was going on. Kara wanted to get Frankie and start driving and Christine wasn't sure what she wanted to do. Figuring that out would mean admitting that Mike had died, and Christine just couldn't do that.

Tex and Kara had gone to look at something while Christine waited at the SUV with the kids, her mom and President Oliver. She was trying not to cry in front of her kids, but it was so hard to bury all the emotions she was feeling. She was not only hurting because of Mike's ship exploding, but she also knew her kids were going to take his death hard. She also was having trouble with the idea that she had killed two people. It wasn't who she was. She leaned her head against the passenger's side window and wiped a tear away, not hearing anything that was going outside. Suddenly, the door opened, and Christine fell into Mike's arms. At first, she thought it was someone else, until she heard Katie say "Daddy!"

Someone had made the decision to get Christine and the others back to the James where they could be protected, and instead of Mike going with his men to begin making a plan, he went with them, back to the James. He would need to go back ashore to help Tom, but for now, he was going to be with Christine while her injuries were assessed.

Andrea had whisked everyone away while Mike took Christine to the medical bay, with Rachel trailing behind. Rios x-rayed, poked and prodded Christine. The wrist was not as badly fractured as Christine had suspected and Rios put a brace on it with strict instructions to take it easy. Mike walked her back to the galley where Bacon was feeding everyone, and Mary was fussing over several of the crew member's.

Christine didn't focus on anything but her husband and kids the entire time that she ate. She had heard something about Andrea lending her quarters to Mary and the kids so that Mike and Christine could have some privacy. As Andrea had walked behind Christine, she had rubbed her back reassuringly. For all of Christine's doubts about Andrea, something had changed with the other woman.

Mike had helped Mary get the kids situated for the night with strict instructions to wake him and Christine up if they needed anything. While he was helping her, Christine took a shower. It wasn't particularly luxurious, but it felt good. By the time that Christine climbed out of the shower and wrapped a towel around her, Mike was in the bedroom area of his quarters turning the bed down. He had changed into a pair of pajama pants and didn't have his t-shirt on. There were bruises all over his chest, stomach and sides, new scars on his forearm and the side of his nose but Christine looked pretty rough too. The glimpse in his mirror had horrified her.

"Kids settled?" Christine asked as she toweled her hair dry. She was still in the towel and wasn't even sure any of her pajamas had been packed. Mike had her bag that had been packed on the bed and she pulled a pair of panties out and slipped them on.

"Yes. I tucked Hannah in, kissed Katie good night and rocked the twins to sleep. Told your mom to come get us if she needed to. Said she had plenty of formula and water for the babies. Wants you to get some rest." Mike answered as he handed her a t-shirt. Christine threw it on and handed the towel to Mike to deal with.

"Sorry, Mike. I'm just not feeling very romantic tonight. I know that I should but…I just can't. Could…would you just hold me? I know it isn't what you really want…" Christine started but Mike very gently picked her up and laid her down on the bed.

"I can't tonight either. Let's just sleep. I have a long day tomorrow." Mike said as he laid down next to her and pulled her onto his chest.

"Thanks, honey. I was afraid you wouldn't understand. When the kids were staying in Andrea's quarters, I figured that was what you had in mind." Christine started.

"No. Tex told me what happened and how…off you've been. I hadn't said anything to Andrea, but she sensed it and felt it would be better if you and I had some time to ourselves so you could come to terms with what happened to you. My question is, aside from beating you and you having to kill those men, did anything else happen?" Mike asked and Christine turned to where she could see his face.

"Like, what?" Christine asked.

"Did they sexually assault you? I have to ask. If they did, its okay. I just need to know." Mike questioned, bluntly.

"No, no. Nothing like that. My reaction was because I killed them. I'm a nurse, Mike. I don't kill people." Christine said as she pressed her forehead into Mike's shoulder. He wrapped both arms around her and rocked her gently.

"You are a mother, wife and daughter; first and foremost. You were protecting your children and mother. Honey, I understand; it hurts to do what you did; but I also know, had you not done it, there is no telling what would have happened to you. You would have died and so would your mom and the kids. I know for a fact how badly you are hurting right now, but I am thankful for what you did. If you need to cry, its fine. Cry on me. But, don't ever wish you had done anything any differently. Our babies would have died had it not been for you. Just let it out." Mike stated and Christine nodded.

Christine didn't know where the tears all came from, but knew that for the time being, Mike had her. Her kids were taken care of and her mom was safe. There would be some sort of fight the next day, but for the time being, Christine could just cry in her husband's arms and it was perfectly fine.

 **I have struggled with how to handle a few of the storylines. Jed and Tex being killed at the end of Season 3 and Sasha? Since Rachel has survived, would Sasha's character be necessary? I like the idea of Rachel being a love interest for Tom. I also would really like to have Jed and Tex survive. The name of the story is 'What If" after all.**


	16. Chapter 16

**What If**

Chapter 16

The next few days were exhausting. Tom's dad had been killed, his kids were kidnapped, and Tom retired suddenly. He just couldn't deal with it. He had his kids back and Allison Shaw was dead. Tom had killed her in cold blood. Everyone understood why but Tom held himself to an impossibly high standard.

Christine was less than thrilled to go back to St. Louis, but her kids needed their normal back. At least with Tom retiring, Mike would be on shore duty for a while. It wouldn't last but it gave them the time they needed.

When they walked into their house, Christine was shocked to see everything cleaned up. The house had been a mess. Bullet holes in the wall, blood stains on the floor, and broken glass from the struggle.

"Who did this?" Christine asked. She had worried about the girls seeing the mess.

"I don't know." Mike answered as he bounced Molleigh up and down. Their new representative had walked in with a bag of Hannah's medications and a few other things.

"Oh, President Oliver arranged for it. Didn't feel you or the kids needed to walk into that. Alright, here is the medication, plus three month's surplus. I also got some of the formula you mentioned, along with diapers and wipes. I have you set up for a weekly delivery as well. Also, Doctor Scott's security team has been asked to keep an eye on the house, especially when Captain Slattery is away at work. In closing, as you know Captain, you have two weeks off before you shift into a shore position. President Oliver does request that you see that therapist before you return. Mrs. Slattery, we can also get you an appointment. Also, there are not many restaurants open so President Oliver arranged for a personal chef. Here's the address. President Oliver arranged for a private dining room for the two of you on Friday night. I understand that your mom can watch the kids but I am willing to help out if necessary." The representative explained quietly. Her name was Samantha and Mike and Christine had instantly liked her.

"Oh, all that isn't necessary." Christine said.

"Not necessary but something President Oliver wanted to do for you all. As this government is rebuilt, things are going to be a struggle. You need a breather before that starts. You have my number, do not hesitate to call and I will make contact before Saturday to find out about the babysitting." Samantha stated as she grabbed her purse and tickled Patrick's belly. Kaitlyn had been holding him but Patrick was a flirt who also really liked Samantha. He lunged at her but Mike caught him. Samantha laughed at him but left before Patrick could make his presence known again.

"He is such a little flirt." Christine said with a smile. Patrick was also a mama's boy and Christine doted on him. Molleigh was a daddy's girl, through and through. Kaitlyn and Hannah had gone upstairs and Mary was in her room.

"That's my boy!" Mike said.

"Yeah, he is charming like his dad. I know it sounds silly, but I am really looking forward to our date night. I know that I should just want to stay home, but I also know, this shore duty isn't permanent and within a year, you'll be gone again. On this two weeks off, I would like for you to do something with Katie and Hannah too, separately. They need some daddy-daughter time. Hannah especially but Katie has really missed you and she's become such a mini adult." Christine said as they sat down on the couch and cuddled the babies close.

"I hate how grown up she's becoming. I know its normal and she's that age. She's been through a lot but there are times that I look at her and wish I could just go back to when she was this little. Could have a do-over with her." Mike commented as he bounced Patrick.

"Me too but she's a good girl. We got lucky with our kids. Even with Lucas. We both could have gone without losing him; but we were blessed to have him for the years that we did have him." Christine said and then leaned over and gave Mike a kiss.

"Agreed, and thankfully they look and act like their mom. Not sure where I am here." Mike said as he pointed at Molleigh, who looked exactly like Christine.

"Her smile. And you are all over this one." Christine said with a smile as she bent forward and kissed Patrick's forehead. Patrick did look like his daddy. He had big, blue eyes and dimples, along with Mike's lighter hair.

"Maybe. And just so you know, I am ready for our night out too. Do I have to wear a tie?" Mike asked.

"I won't make you wear a tie. Do I have to wear heels?" Christine teased. Her hatred of heels had been a joke for years.

"Nope. I won't even make you wear a dress if you don't want to." Mike told her.

"Hmm. We'll see." Christine said with a smile. They were both hurting but also healing together. A night out seemed like a perfect answer.

 **Friday Night**

"Mom, I think the blue dress is prettier then that tan." Kaitlyn commented as she pointed at the blue dress. Christine actually preferred it too, but the tan was more modest.

"I like it too, sweetie but I've also had five babies." Christine remarked as she curled her hair. Katie had thought she needed help.

"I bet Dad would like it better on you." Kaitlyn remarked.

"You are probably right. I'll try it." Christine promised as she finished her hair and reapplied her lipstick. As soon as she finished, she put the blue dress on. It was much more form fitting but Christine liked it. The tan one was kind of frumpy feeling.

"Oh, Mom; you're hot!" Kaitlyn stated.

"I don't know about that. I do like this one better. Alright." Christine said as she slid on a pair of black flats. The dress was not only tighter but also showed a bit more cleavage, exactly what Mike liked.

"Alright, perfect. I'll help Grandma, Mom. Don't worry." Kaitlyn said as she fidgeted with Christine's make-up. Christine had been planning Mike and Kaitlyn's daddy/daughter day which included a nice dinner out. Mike would have to suffer through a tie, but would do it happily for his oldest daughter.

"Thanks, sweetie." Christine said as she walked down the steps. Mike was already ready, wearing a button-down shirt, nice jeans and a blazer; Christine's preferred outfit for him.

"Wow. You look incredible." Mike said as he met Christine at the bottom of the stairs and they exchanged a kiss.

"I told her she looked hot in that dress." Kaitlyn said from behind Christine.

"She does. You ready?" Mike asked as he gave Christine his arm and helped her down the last step.

"I am. Let me kiss the kids goodnight real quick." Christine said as she turned around and kissed Kaitlyn. She then kissed Hannah, Molleigh and Patrick. Rachel was going to help Mary with the kids, wanting a break from her agents, even though they would be watching the house.

Mike also gave the kids their good night kisses and made Mary promise to call if she needed anything. Christine hadn't left the babies yet so it was a bit traumatic for her, but they were out of the door in plenty of time.

The dining area that President Oliver had arranged for them was nice and very private. The food was absolutely delicious and there was even wine. But more then that, they talked about everything. Mike's time as a POW, what Christine had had to do to protect their children and Lucas. They also planned for the coming months. There was also a small dance floor and some of the same music that had been played at their wedding reception.

The room had a huge king-sized bed and a view of the city. Neither Mike or Christine expected luxury and since the James had returned with the cure, had had issues getting used to the 'perks.' They rarely took trips or nights away from their kids and if they did, they just stayed at home while Mary watched the kids.

Both Mike and Christine would have been happy to sleep but they had both drank quite a bit and they did have a kid-free night. Within just a moment of returning to their room, Mike had Christine's dress off completely and she was working on unbuttoning his shirt.


	17. Chapter 17

**What If**

Chapter 17-1 1/2 year later

So far, Christine had been able to feed her kids. She had canned a lot of food and was scraping by. She had to ration the food and they had all lost weight but so far, at least they were eating. Mike's time in St. Louis had been too short. He had been deployed to the Med for about six months, but he was finally coming home. They had found disease-resistant seeds that would be producing food within just a few weeks or months. It seemed like forever but there was an end in sight.

Mike was coming home with a new scar. Christine had gotten the call from Rios that he had been stabbed and drugged, followed by a call from Mike about twelve hours later, saying he was alright. Christine knew better. She would feel better when she could see for herself that he was alright.

Christine hadn't returned to work. There just hadn't been a good time and she was glad to have the time at home. She had become slightly reclusive, partly because of her food rations and partly because she couldn't deal with people. She still homeschooled her older girls and they all kept up with Molleigh and Patrick, who were now busy two-year-old's.

As Christine pulled into the dock, she saw the James. Knowing that Mike would have things to do before he could go home, she waited in their SUV. Mary and the kids were at home, preparing a large dinner of meatless vegetable stew and rolls. She waited for about a half-hour and then saw Mike walking towards her. He was wearing his summer whites and was carrying his rucksack. Like her, he had lost weight and looked tired. She got out of the vehicle and greeted him with a hug and deep kiss.

"Let's go home." Christine told him.

"Sounds perfect." Mike agreed as he threw the rucksack in the back of the SUV and got in the passenger seat. Christine could tell from his general disposition that he was exhausted. She began the drive home and reached over and squeezed his hand.

"You seem tired. We'll get home and you can eat and head to bed." Christine stated.

"The kids, though?" Mike argued.

"You aren't leaving tomorrow, correct? You can spend more time with them tomorrow. Mike, they understand. Besides, you are only, what? Two or three weeks out from being stabbed? You aren't twenty anymore. Injuries like that take some time to come back from. Besides, knowing our kids, they'll want to cuddle with you." Christine lectured.

"I have so much to do though. I promised Katie I would help her with her driving and Hannah wanted to show me her ballet routine and…" Mike listed.

"All stuff that can wait until tomorrow when you are rested. Mike, just rest." Christine ordered.

"I will." Mike promised. Christine squeezed his hand again and nodded over at him. They continued the drive-in silence and Mike smiled when they pulled in. Despite, the smile, Christine was worried about Mike. He just seemed off. Rachel had suggested a barbeque since Tom was also back in town, but Christine was glad that she had put it off until the weekend. She walked hand-in-hand with Mike into the house and as soon as they walked into the living room, Katie and Hannah made a run for Mike. However, Molleigh and Patrick stood away.

Christine had showed pictures to the twins every day, pictures of Mike and them with Mike but it was the first deployment since they were born. They didn't remember him. Thankfully, he was occupied with the older girls and it gave Christine a chance to remind them.

"Hey, remember me telling you about Daddy? That's him." Christine said as she knelt in front of the two toddlers and pointed at Mike.

"Daddy!" Molleigh yelled. Of the two, she was more outgoing. Patrick was like Christine, quiet and withdrawn. Molleigh had ran for Mike, who immediately picked her up. Christine picked Patrick up and carried him over to Mike, knowing that Mike would want to hug and kiss the little boy.

"Girls, there will be lots of opportunities to talk to your dad. Can you give him a moment with the twins? Maybe set the table and help Grandma with supper? Dad is really tired and needs to rest. You girls can make plans for tomorrow." Christine asked and both girls nodded. They walked into the open living area and began getting the table ready. Patrick was observing Mike very closely. The boy was a lot like Mike too.

"Hey, buddy. I missed you." Mike said as he leaned over and kissed Patrick's forehead.

"Boy not kiss!" Patrick said loudly. He was alright with his mom, grandma or sisters kissing him, but apparently not Mike.

"Patrick, Daddy is gonna give you lots of hugs and kisses. You might as well just get used to it." Christine told the little boy. Mike was an affectionate father, always hugging and kissing their kids, even Lucas; who had gone through a 'My dad shouldn't hug me' stage.

"He'll get used to it. He just doesn't remember me right now." Mike said sadly. Christine reached over and rubbed his arm. Not to be outdone, Molleigh landed a kiss on Mike's nose. Christine could tell that Mike was not handling Patrick real well but she also knew, Mike would go the distance to make sure that he had a good relationship with his son.

"Mom, supper is on the table." Katie said with a smile. Christine sit Patrick back down and grabbed Mike's hand, guiding him towards the table.

"It's a vegetarian vegetable stew. Hopefully soon, we'll have meat." Christine stated as they all sit down.

"Looks good." Mike said as he put some of the stew in his bowl and then passed the pan over. Katie had put a roll on his plate and filled his water glass.

"Better then what a lot of people have. We're fortunate." Mary said.

"Do you have a lot of food left from what you canned?" Mike asked Christine. It had caused him a lot of stress, knowing his family was doing without while he was away. Of course, his food had been rationed too, but it still bothered him more that his kids were hungry.

"We…will be fine. I can stretch things out. Make meals that can be altered with leftovers. It'll get better." Christine said, with a look telling Mike they would discuss it later.

"I can't wait to have a cheeseburger." Katie stated. She frequently spoke of her cravings.

"Careful, Katie. You will make yourself hungry for that and then not be satisfied with this." Mary scolded.

"Yes, ma'am." Katie said and then went back to eating.

They ate their dinner and Mike insisted on helping Christine with the twin's bath. He also tucked them both in, and despite Patrick's earlier statement, kissed them both good night. He also got to kiss both older girls' good night. Christine had gone downstairs to lock up and when she got back upstairs, ready to go to bed herself; Mike was sprawled across the bed, still fully clothed, on his stomach and snoring loudly. Christine laughed under her breath, carefully removed Mike's boots, covered him with a blanket, put her own pajamas on, and carefully laid down. It was not easy considering that Mike was basically spread eagle across the bed. Christine had to wedge herself under his arm and leg to get into a comfortable position.

She had wanted to inspect his wound, make sure it was healing properly, but Mike resting was more important. In the meantime, she relished the feeling of his warm body against hers. She had missed that, the snoring, not so much.

 **Short chapter…Obviously based on Season 4. I will go more in depth and more AU in later chapters.**


	18. Chapter 18

**What If**

Chapter 18-3 years later

Things had started falling apart when Mike had been promoted to Admiral. He had become Fleet Admiral and was gone a lot. Christine understood the needs, but the kids didn't and slowly but surely, Mike and Christine's marriage began to fail.

When he was home in St. Louis, it was easier for him to stay on base, so he took a BOQ there. It was only a studio apartment so the kids couldn't really visit him. He rarely came to the house, so he rarely saw the kids. Kaitlyn had taken it in stride and was going to St. Louis University as a pre-med student. Hannah was now a teenager and was rebellious. She was particularly angry at her father and Molleigh and Patrick hadn't really known a time where their father was fully devoted, so it didn't bother them too much.

Despite how distant Mike was, Christine hadn't filed for divorce and Mike apparently didn't have time to. He also still financially supported her and allowed her to stay home. Mary had had a stroke a year before and Christine wanted to stay home to care for her, a decision that Mike supported.

She knew that he had been seen around with Andrea Garnett and they worked closely. Christine refused to accuse him of cheating, wanting to keep things civil so he at least made infrequent appearances in their kid's lives. He didn't show up for Katie's high school graduation and fussed over the dress she wore to prom. Christine had picked her battles and allowed Hannah to get a nose piercing and dye her hair black, while Mike had a fit. He often remarked that Molleigh and Patrick were spoiled, but only occasionally spent time around them. The only way that Christine could get his attention was by mentioning that Mary needed something. Then, he helped.

Christine was aware that Mike was helping rebuild the fleet and was headed to Mayport, Florida for a fleet day. He had mentioned her bringing the kids down, but Hannah was in grounded, and Christine had decided not to. Mary was unable to feed herself anymore and was wheelchair bound. Christine was feeding her supper and happened to glance over at the TV, that had the evening news on. What she saw made her drop the bowl of food on the floor. Mary looked at her strangely and turned around.

"Is that where Mike is?" Mary asked. Mary was the one family member still completely loyal to her son-in-law. Christine had just been hurt. She had moved past hurt a couple years before.

"Yes. He told me he was going to be in Mayport today." Christine said. Fortunately, the kids were outside.

"It reminds me of when they taught us about Pearl Harbor." Mary commented.

"Yeah." Christine said as she began cleaning the glass and food up off the floor.

"You should try and call Mike." Mary suggested, just as the news anchor stated that cell phones were down, along with internet and many other things.

"I can't." Christine said before looking outside to her kids. How was she going to explain to them that their dad may not have survived? Without internet, there was no way of checking a list of the dead or injured. Mike's relationship with his kids was contentious, but deep down, they adored him. Sometimes she had to remind them of that, but it still hurt.

"You okay? Despite everything, you still love that man. If you didn't, you would have filed for divorce." Mary asked.

"I…don't know. I'm worried about my kids." Christine stated.

Three hours later, after a lot of tears, Christine had gotten the twins to bed. Hannah and Katie were still awake, looking at photo albums of happier times. Times when Mike was present in their lives. When he had been a better husband and father. Christine was glad that the older girls had those memories, she just wished that the twins had them of their father. Mary had long since gone to bed, after reminding Christine and the older girls to not give up hope. Just because they hadn't heard from Mike, didn't mean he was dead.

The sleep that night was restless for all of them and by two, all four kids were in Christine's bed with her. The morning broke and still no word from Mike or even Tom. She knew that Tom was also in Mayport. He might also be dead too and Andrea would have called too. No calls and no word.

Christine couldn't understand why the Navy wouldn't have let her know, but then again, her separation from Mike was well-known. Now that Katie was an adult, Mike might have changed her to his next-of-kin, but she also hadn't heard anything as the days went by.

Three weeks later, Ashley Chandler appeared at Christine's door. She knew the Chandler kids were staying in St. Louis and had even offered to look in on Ashley. She was a little surprised to see the young girl. Christine immediately let her in, wondering if she was also curious about her own father.

"Ashley, I have to say; I am a bit shocked to see you." Christine said.

"Yeah, I'm sorry. I should have stopped by sooner. I talked to my dad." Ashley said.

"Oh, I'm glad he's alive!" Christine told her.

"Yeah. He…the James wasn't in port at Mayport and he's on board now." Ashley explained.

"Oh…did he mention your Uncle Mike? I haven't heard a peep and I'm…worried." Christine admitted.

"He…hasn't found a way to call you?" Ashley asked.

"No. We have been going on the assumption that he might have died. We knew that they were unable to recover some of the bodies at Mayport, but we never got confirmation. I attributed it to the internet and such being down." Christine explained.

"I should have come a lot sooner…he was at Mayport and was able to get to the James. As far as I know, he's okay. My dad and him had been trading cryptic messages for a while. My dad should have called you." Ashley commented angrily.

"Its okay. They are at war. They don't think much of what's going on at home when that happens. Ashley, is there something you need?" Christine asked.

"Sam's birthday is tomorrow, and I don't know how to bake a cake and I don't have money to buy him that or a present." Ashley broke down and Christine pulled her in for a hug. Tom and Rachel had parted ways years before and Tom was with an old girlfriend. He and Sasha were hyper focused on their jobs and barely noticed Sam or Ashley.

"What's he like? How about the two of you come over for dinner tomorrow and I will make sure he has a dinner, cake and some presents?" Christine suggested.

"Oh, I couldn't do that." Ashley said.

"Yes, you can. Your dad and Mike are like brothers, which makes me practically your aunt. This is something an aunt would do. So, what's he like?" Christine asked. It wasn't the kid's fault that both Mike and Tom were screw up dads.

"He likes fried chicken, mashed potatoes and creamy corn. Doesn't like cake much but loves apple pies. That's a lot of cooking though?" Ashley asked.

"It is, what are you doing tomorrow?" Christine asked.

"I don't have school." Ashley stated.

"Well, you come over at nine am, we go shopping for the supplies and Sam's presents and then come back and cook and bake. Sam can stay here and swim." Christine insisted.

"You sure?" Ashley asked.

"I am, and when you do talk to your dad, you tell him he owes me big. Sam is only twelve. He doesn't understand this." Christine commented. Sam was the same age that Lucas would have been, and they had been friends. It would be hard to celebrate his birthday, but Christine couldn't let it go unnoticed. She loved making her kid's birthdays memorable. Big dinners, their favorite desserts and lots of fun things to do.

"Yes, ma'am. I will also tell him to have Uncle Mike call you. Thanks, Aunt Chris." Ashley said as she hugged her tightly.

"You do that." Christine said as she kissed the top of Ashley's head. Something told her that she would be seeing more of the Chandler kids. They had lost their mother and grandfather and Tom was too preoccupied. What were two more kids? And surely, Mike would understand.

The next morning, Ashley and Sam showed up at a little before nine with his swimming gear. Katie and Hannah were aware that they were coming and promised to occupy Sam and the twins while Christine and Mary gave Ashley a cooking and baking lesson.

First off, Christine took Ashley to the grocery store. As she talked to her, she realized the kids had been living off of frozen pizzas and junk food. They had never had anyone to teach them any differently. Christine remembered Darien being a good cook who enjoyed feeding her family good meals, but Darien had been gone for years. The one thing she could do was teach Ashley how to cook a decent meal.

They picked up Sam a couple smaller gifts, just so he had something to open. It was a little harder for Christine, because she couldn't buy similar gifts for Lucas, but it didn't matter. Sam did. If Mike did have an issue with her spending the money that he gave her, then she would have to figure out a way to help them without using that money. She might have to get a job.

Mary, despite her arm being unusable, was still a great help in the kitchen and was far more patient then Christine. Christine wrapped the presents and finished the lattice work on the pie. She imagined wrapping presents for Lucas' birthday and fixing his favorite dinner. She missed Lucas, but she found herself really missing Mike. His voice, his touch, his kisses, even his snoring.

Despite everything. His absence and the rumors of his relationship with Andrea; Christine still loved Mike. Maybe it was a stupid infatuation and her inability to let him go. They had been separated for over a year and Christine should have been separating bank accounts, demanding child support and alimony, but instead; she took what Mike offered and begged him to at least be a father to their children, hoping someday that he would have enough of the fight and come home. She just wasn't sure what sort of relationship he would have with their older daughters.


	19. Chapter 19

**What If**

Chapter 19

Mike watched the James sinking and wondered what next? They had pulled Tom out and Kara was working on getting him warmed up. Yeah, they were in the tropics, but the water was still chilled. They had to rebuild the fleet again and the Navy's poster child was gone. Every new sailor wanted to sail on the James. Mike was afraid that now that the James was gone, recruitment would dry up.

He knew that he had turned into a bad father and an even worse husband. He still wore his wedding band, although he had not honored his vows to Christine. He hadn't been faithful; he hadn't honored her and he definitely not taken care of his bride. There was no way that she would forgive him.

He had cared about Andrea and very few people knew that their relationship had gone beyond a friendship. When they first start sleeping together, Mike thought his marriage was headed for divorce. Instead, Christine never filed, and Mike didn't want to hurt Christine. Not that cheating on her wasn't hurting her. Initially the affair with Andrea was because they were lonely. She was a widow and he was separated from his wife of nineteen years. It was wrong and dangerous for their careers. It could have gotten Mike into a fair amount of trouble, but since Andrea had died; none of it mattered.

Mike wasn't sure if Christine knew and he wasn't sure how to face her with it. He was smart enough to know that he still loved Christine, and that while he cared deeply for Andrea, they didn't have the same spark that he and Christine had had. Because of what he had done, he would end up a very lonely man. His kids would want nothing to do with him because he was a bad father and had hurt their mother and Christine would divorce him. The one line that she had drawn very early on in their relationship, he hadn't only crossed but had ran across.

As they climbed on board of the Michener, Mike wondered about calling home. He hadn't since before Mayport, not wanting to make idle conversation with his estranged wife. Once the news broke that James had sunk, they would be worried. He spoke with the Captain, received the report of the away teams and ordered them to move towards New Orleans, the closest port so the injured could be moved to a proper hospital. Mike had a choice. Fly to Mayport and begin rebuilding the Navy again or fly to St. Louis to see his family. He was standing on the flight deck of the Michener staring into space when Russ approached him.

"You look like a man with a lot on his mind." Russ pointed out.

"Just trying to decide what to do. We have to rebuild the Navy again." Mike commented.

"Who says it has to be you? You have another thing to rebuild." Russ said sourly. He hadn't approved of the relationship between Mike and Andrea.

"My family? They don't want me. I send Christine a check and make sure they can stay in the house. Otherwise, they don't want me." Mike explained.

"Maybe. But you still need them. Why have you kept your wedding ring on?" Russ asked.

"I…just couldn't take it off." Mike admitted.

"So, with all respect; when you and Andrea were together, did you wear it?" Russ asked. Normally, Mike would reprimand him, but he had a point and it had been an area of contention between him and Andrea.

"Yes, and she didn't like it." Mike remarked. He and Andrea lived together, something no one knew. When they were deployed, they kept separate quarters, just for appearances but normally one of them would slip into the other's quarters.

"I don't imagine. Look, she's dead. I don't mean to be cruel, but you don't owe her an explanation. You do owe Christine an explanation. Andrea was a friend to all of us and we would be fooling ourselves if we said we didn't miss her. Have you figured out what you are doing next?" Russ asked.

"Not a clue. I know that there are things to do, but I want to jump on the first plane to St. Louis and see my family, even if they slam the door in my face." Mike admitted.

"Then jump on that plane. The Navy can wait, the kids can't. And call them so you don't worry them." Russ said.

As Mike stood and looked out at the ocean, he looked down at the wedding band on his left ring finger. Did it still belong there? After everything, he certainly didn't deserve a wife like Christine. She didn't nag him, didn't accuse him anymore, rarely complained and made due with what he gave her. If she did complain, it was because she wanted him to be a better father to their kids. He decided Russ was right, he needed to call home. He walked to the communication room and fortunately was able to get a call out. He hesitated before punching in Christine's cell number, even thinking about calling Katie instead, but Katie might be in class. He was relieved when Christine's voice came over after the second ring.

 _"Hello?" Christine's crisp voice came over._

 _"Hey." Mike said simply. He wasn't sure what to say._

 _"Mike, it has been months! We thought you were dead for weeks and then you didn't call. We've been worried." Christine lectured. Mike pinched the bridge of his nose and bit back a response of 'were you afraid the benefit check wouldn't come?'_

 _"Yeah, sorry. In case you haven't seen it yet. The James sunk today. We are on another ship and headed for New Orleans." Mike answered._

 _"Are you okay?" Christine asked._

 _"Yeah, fine and Tom's fine." Mike said simply._

 _"What about Russ? Andrea? Kara?" Christine asked. Mike realized that he hadn't called home, so Christine didn't know that Andrea had died months before. He had to respect her for showing concern over his mistress. There was no way Christine didn't know._

 _"Russ is alright, Kara too. The crew is all alright. We have some injuries from the land battle but that is why we're going to New Orleans. To get them proper care. As far as Andrea is concerned, she died in Mayport. I…forgot to let you know." Mike answered._

 _"Are…you okay?" Christine asked. Mike had to smile at the concern in her voice._

 _"Not a scratch on me. I promise." Mike assured her._

 _"Damn it, Mike; that is not what I mean! I know good and well that you and Andrea were…doing whatever and she was a good friend of yours besides. That is what I mean." Christine stated._

 _"I…its hard to explain. I really don't want to talk about it here. I'm in the comm room. How…are the kids?" Mike asked, wanting to get her off-track._

 _"They have been really worried about you and they miss you." Christine said._

 _"I would really like to come see them." Mike remarked._

 _"You know how to get here, and you still have a house key. Hop on a plane or rent a vehicle. I have never one time told you that you couldn't be here, and I won't now. I don't believe in kicking a man when he's down, even if he deserves it." Christine said. He could hear the hurt in her voice and knew she knew the extent of his relationship with Andrea._

 _"I will have to check and see if the BOQ is still available…" Mike started._

 _"No, Mike; if you want to fix this, you need to be home. Not with one foot out the door. You need to figure out if you want to fix this, though?" Christine said._

 _"Fix what?" Mike asked. He was getting aggravated._

 _"First of all, your relationship with your kids. They love you, Mike. When we didn't hear if you were alive after Mayport, you can't imagine the tears. We thought you might have been among the bodies they couldn't recover. Had it not been for Ashley, we'd still think that. Even when you were back in the States, you didn't call. That really hurt Katie and Hannah. Molleigh and Patrick are young enough, they thought it was normal." Christine lectured._

 _"Didn't think they cared." Mike remarked._

 _"Mike, as I said, they cried, a lot. They remembered when you were a more present part of their lives and they cried. But they also worried because Molleigh and Patrick had never had those memories with you. You still have a chance." Christine explained and Mike closed his eyes in pain. He loved his kids; he just was not that good of a dad._

 _"And you?" Mike asked._

 _"Me? Mike, it makes me an idiot, but I still love you. You just need to figure out if you want to stay in this marriage or not." Christine said simply before hanging up._

Mike walked to his assigned quarters and undressed. Thankfully, he had no duties. As he cleaned his pockets out, he was thankful that he had his wallet at least. It would make flying to St. Louis a lot easier. He opened the wallet and the first picture he pulled out was a picture of him, Christine and the kids. Obviously, it was missing Lucas. Everything they did was missing Lucas.

Mike's sleep was not restful. A lot was on his mind. Was it time to retire? If he didn't, could he stand to cause his kids more pain? They certainly didn't deserve it. He might complain about how spoiled the twins were, Hannah's attitude or Katie's needs for school; but he adored them and the last thing he wanted was to make their childhoods more painful.

They made port in New Orleans and Mike made sure their injured were secured in the Navy's hospital. He alerted the President that he was going to St. Louis and would be out of pocket for at least a week. He could tell he wasn't thrilled, but Mike couldn't continue to neglect his family. He didn't want to be lonely.

He got an early flight out and it was only an hour and a half, and he landed in St. Louis. Instead of renting a vehicle, he took a taxi to the house that he should have been sharing with Christine and their kids. As he got out of the taxi and paid for the ride, he could only pray the door wasn't slammed in his face. He certainly deserved that.

Mike knew that he could have just walked in, but he rang the doorbell. He hoped that Christine would answer it. He knew it was early morning and they would not be up. He should have waited. Finally, the front door opened, and Christine was there in her robe and nightgown.

Mike wasn't sure what to expect from his wife, but her pulling him into a hug was not it and he wasn't expecting to cry either. The tears just kept coming and Christine just kept holding him.


	20. Chapter 20

**What If**

Chapter 20

Mike knew coming home wouldn't be easy, and his older kids made sure to make that a reality. Katie was fairly accepting of him, but Hannah was openly hostile. The twins acted like he was some sort of company. At least Christine and Mary were happy to see him. After breakfast, the twins went out to play and Mike sat down on the couch, ready for the interrogation that his older girls were going to give him.

"How long until you leave again?" Katie asked from one of the side chairs. Christine was sitting next to him on the couch, Katie in the chair and Hannah was sitting on the fireplace ledge. Mary was outside with the twins.

"Not sure. I told them I would be out of pocket at least this week. Possibly longer." Mike stated.

"So, are you staying here or at your place?" Hannah asked rudely. Mike gave Christine a look, hoping she'd help.

"Your dad will be staying here." Christine said simply. She knew everything, about Andrea, their relationship and how far things had gone, and him thinking about retirement. She was deeply hurt and had cried more then a few tears, but she still had an odd strength. Mike wasn't sure if his girls knew the extent of the relationship or not.

"Doesn't seem too happy about it." Hannah remarked.

"Hannah, things happened and those things are between your father and me. They are not things you need to concern yourself with. What you do need to concern yourself with is that he is here now and you need to spend time with him." Christine stated firmly.

"Are you two getting divorced?" Katie asked.

"At this point, no. Like I said, there are things between him and I that we have to work through." Christine answered. Mike knew that Hannah would likely have a comment but was glad that Christine was trying to get through to her.

"Funny how he isn't answering. He leaves for months at a time, doesn't call, doesn't email. When he does, he complains. He screws around on you and you just take it. How is this healthy? What do you get out of this? He treats you like a doormat and he will eventually leave you again for her." Hannah said, addressing Christine.

"That won't happen." Mike stated. Christine reached over and squeezed his hand, sympathetically.

"Dad, its been happening for years. How long had you been sleeping with Andrea? What would change now?" Hannah asked. Mike gave Christine a sideways look. He really didn't know what to say.

"It won't happen again. That is all you need to know." Christine told her.

"Yeah, right. He will do be out the door the first chance he gets. I honestly think that he would have preferred we had all died with Lucas. Then he would be rid of his family and could screw around all that he wanted." Hannah accused. For a fourteen-year-old, Mike was not thrilled with how dirty her mouth was. Normally he would have corrected the behavior but didn't want to create an all-out war. He was tired of fighting.

"I love you all. If I had lost you, it would have destroyed me." Mike stated. No lie there.

"Yeah right." Hannah said. She had stood up and Mike also stood, hoping for a hug.

"Hannah, you need to be a bit respectful. Your dad just got back. He's lost a lot of crew and his ship. He needs time to process and figure out what's next." Christine said as she also stood up.

"He couldn't respect us enough to let us know that he was alive. He was stateside for weeks and we didn't rate enough to even get a phone call. Why should I respect him?" Hannah said before she stormed upstairs. She did have a point. Mike looked to Katie, waiting on her response. Katie was a wildcard.

"Look, Dad. I am not thrilled with what you've done and how you've treated Mom. What happens between the two of you is between you. It is not my business. I know how hurt Mom has been but I also know that she's really missed you and still loves you. You came back, which tells me that despite everything, some part of you still loves her. But I swear to God, if you hurt her like that one more time, I will never speak to you again. I can make that choice. We have all missed you, even Hannah. She did have a point when she said that about you not respecting us enough to let us know that you were okay after Mayport. You don't know what that felt like. You could have called when you were stateside but didn't. I get it, you've lost a lot of people. I am sorry for that. You just have to decide if you are prepared to lose Hannah and I because of your choices. We will be alive and fine, but we don't have to include you in our lives when you don't want to be. You make the choice." Katie said before walking outside.

"That was like getting a tooth pulled." Mike remarked as he sat back down on the couch. Christine sat back down next to him.

"Yeah, but you did bring it on yourself." Christine remarked.

"Agreed. So, what now?" Mike said after yawning.

"You go to your BOQ and pack it up. I'm assuming these are the only clothes that you have?" Christine asked, pointing at his uniform.

"I do. Everything else was on the James." Mike explained.

"Alright." Christine said simply.

"Are you sure about this? I know that it's a difficult pill to swallow." Mike asked.

"Its not easy. I thought it was just a…not sure, a fling? But when you said that you had lived with her, that really hurt a lot. More then you can imagine. Was it sex? Love? I honestly don't know. I feel very inadequate now. I know that she's dead and I am sorry for that. She died in your arms and you cared about her." Christine said quietly.

"I…cared about her and I honestly don't know what it was." Mike said.

"But you say you still love me and you wore your wedding ring. How did you do that?" Christine asked.

"I…don't know." Mike said. He really couldn't articulate the answers that Christine wanted.

"Mike, I want this to work out and I do love you. I just need you to figure out why your eye wondered. I can't figure out if it would have been better if she had been a twenty-five-year old blonde or someone you had known for years. Someone I considered a friend. At least with a twenty-five-year-old, I could have said it was some sort of midlife crisis. Do I need to lose weight? Change the way I dress? What? I need you to figure that out. What made me so undesirable?" Christine said before walking away.

Mike wasn't sure how to answer any of her questions. With Andrea, while he cared about her, the sex was lacking. It was like they both knew they were doing something wrong. Mike couldn't imagine himself with a twenty-five-year old. He was past that. No woman, including Andrea outshined Christine. And Andrea had known it. Christine had gone into her garden and greenhouse and was working with her vegetables and Mike needed to borrow her vehicle. As he walked into the greenhouse, he noticed some dirt smudged on her cheek. It made him notice the worry lines, crow's feet and gray hair that was sporadically speckled in Christine's dark hair. When had she gotten old? Was it because of him?

"I…need to borrow your SUV. I don't have a vehicle." Mike said simply. Funny how the roles were reversed. Before, Christine was dependent on him for everything. Now, he was dependent on her to try and heal his family.

"Oh, right. Keys are in the kitchen. Can you get a gallon of milk while you're out?" Christine asked.

"Sure. Or…do you want to go with? I don't have a lot to pack. Maybe we could do lunch or something?" Mike asked. Katie and the twins were swimming and Mary was sitting on the patio repotting some flowers for Christine with her good hand. Hannah was still in her room.

"I could. Let me ask Mom if she can look out for the kids." Christine said.

"Here, you have a dirt smudge." Mike said as he wiped the smudge off Christine's cheek. Aside from a hug and her squeezing his hand, it was really the only time they'd touched and it seemed strangely intimate. It was as far as their intimacy would go. Mike knew that he would residing on the couch for a while, if not forever.

"Thanks. I'll just water this and will be ready to go." Christine said. Mike nodded at her and looked out, watching the twins swim.

"I need to work on their swimming." Mike commented. He had taught all of his kids how to swim, but had barely been around the twins, so obviously he had not taught them.

"Yeah, they didn't get you for a teacher. Katie tried, but you were always a good swimming coach." Christine remarked.

"I'll work with them this week." Mike said.

"Still on the fence about retiring? Mike, if the house is holding you back; we can live anywhere. I have grown to love this house, but I don't have to stay here. I only ask that we stay in the St. Louis area because of Katie being in college here and I don't want the kids to have to go through changing schools." Christine asked.

"It's on the list but not my main concern." Mike told her.

"The thing is, where the kids are concerned, if you want any chance at a normal, healthy relationship with them; you need to retire. We both know that a land position could lead to another deployment. I'm not giving you an ultimatum, but you really need to think heavily about what you want. A career or a family?" Christine told him as she finished watering her plants.

"I know." Mike said. He picked up her watering can for her and followed her out.

Fortunately, Mary and Katie agreed to watch the kids. Christine went upstairs to talk to Hannah for a moment and change shirts. By the time she came downstairs, her hair was combed and put up and she had a little make-up on. Mike grabbed the keys and they left, driving for the base. They didn't really talk and Christine handed him her dependent ID when they pulled up at watch gate. Mike got the feeling she didn't visit the base often.

His BOQ was a very generic studio apartment. There was nothing special or nice about it. It was definitely not homey and aside from his clothes, only had two family pictures. He quickly packed everything up, including bedding. He needed to let housing know that he moved back to his house, but he was also going to have to figure out if he was retiring.

Restaurants had finally began opening up after the Red Rust and while food was still rationed; there were no shortages. Mike found a steakhouse that he and Christine could both agree on and quickly got them a table. It had been years since they had even had a dinner out, and Mike knew that Christine rarely left the house other then for school functions with the kids. For her, the meal was a treat.

Christine ate her food slowly, only talking occasionally. Mike knew it had to do more with savoring the food then talking to him, but he hoped to have a more open conversation with her. But she had laid everything out to him. There wasn't a lot more to say.

Mike knew he had two choices. Retire and repair his marriage and the relationship with his kids or continue on with the Navy and die a lonely man. For most people it would be an easy decision, but for whatever reason, Mike was struggling. He didn't even understand why.

Mike drove them home after they ate dinner. The twins were in the pool and Mike changed into his swim trunks to work with them on their swimming. He wasn't sure what Christine was doing and Hannah was sitting on the patio, glaring at him. Katie was working with him on the twin's swim lesson. Despite everything, it was kind of a relaxing afternoon for him.


	21. Chapter 21

**What If**

Chapter 21

Hannah was openly hostile to Mike and Katie was cool. Mike had to wonder if they really wanted to him and Christine to work things out. It didn't feel like they did and Mike could only blame himself for it. He had mentioned it to Christine and her only answer was, "You have to love them anyway." She had a point but it hurt. And he was only a novelty to the twins. Molleigh let him tuck her in, but Patrick was a different. He'd always been a bit outspoken and he was a Mama's boy. Mike hoped he could develop a good relationship with him. He just didn't know how to. Mike anticipated being relegated to the couch, but Christine shocked him.

"Do you have an extra blanket and pillow I can borrow?" Mike asked as he stepped into the bedroom that he and Christine had shared, on the rare occasion that he was home.

"For?" Christine asked, obviously confused.

"I figured I was sleeping on the couch." Mike answered.

"Mike, if you want to sleep on the couch, I suppose you can, but I figured on you being here." Christine stated. Mike was confused. There was no way that Christine wanted physical intimacy. She hadn't been angry but very upset and hurt.

"I…didn't think you wanted to be that close to me." Mike said, thinking that Christine would be repulsed by him.

"I can understand that but I also always loved having you in bed next to me. I've missed that. You might not want to though." Christine remarked.

"I figured you would be repulsed by me." Mike said simply. Christine sat down on the bed and patted next to her. Mike sat down by her. She was wearing a simple cotton nightgown and had her hair in a loose braid.

"Same could be said about me. That you were repulsed by me." Christine said.

"Why would you think…oh, right; Andrea." Mike said.

"Exactly." Christine said. Mike reached over and squeezed her hand.

"I don't really know why I did it, other then I thought we were headed for divorce. You didn't file. I can say one thing for sure though, I never was repulsed by you. That much I can promise you." Mike said.

"Why didn't you file? My reason for not was because I still loved you, hoped you would come home." Christine asked.

"Pretty much the same reason. I didn't want to hurt you by filing, but I should have realized that I hurt you more by cheating." Mike stated.

"Yeah. It really hurts. And it hurt even more when you told me that you had been living with her." Christine admitted.

"I wish I hadn't told you that." Mike remarked. It might be a deciding factor on if their marriage survived.

"No, Mike. I needed to know. I want you to be completely honest with me, even if you know that it'll hurt me." Christine stated.

"So, what next?" Mike asked.

"Well, tonight; we got to sleep. This goes without saying, I want you to sleep in here with me, but I…can't be intimate with you right now. Until you figure out why you stepped away, I can't do that. I know that you say that you thought we were headed for divorce and you aren't repulsed by me, but I have to wonder if there was a physical aspect to it. Something about me that didn't satisfy you in that way anymore. You may have to dig deep, but I think there is something there." Christine said as she stood up and began pulling blankets back.

"Okay." Mike said simply as he also stood up and pulled the blankets back on his side of the bed and helped Christine with the decorative pillows. It would be awkward but he was glad to be sharing a bed with Christine. They might not be physically intimate but to Mike there was something intimate about sleeping next to Christine. She took her robe off and settled in bed. Mike had put his bag in the walk-in closet earlier and so he went in and changed into a pair of pajama pants and a t-shirt. Normally he would have slept with no shirt and in his boxers, but he didn't want to seem suggestive. Things were so awkward. When he walked back in the bedroom, Christine was reading in bed and Mike realized he needed to lock up downstairs. "I'll be back." Mike told her simply.

Mike ran downstairs, shut the lights off and locked the doors. From what Christine had said, Mary slept through the night and was capable enough to get herself to the bathroom with no problem. As he walked back upstairs, he looked in on his sleeping kids. Katie didn't live in the dorms, preferring to help her mother with her younger siblings and grandmother. She was sleeping soundly, curled into a little ball. Mike stepped in and pulled the blanket over her shoulders and shut her bedside lamp off. Hannah was stretched across her bed and snoring slightly. Mike fixed her blankets and smoothed her hair back. Molleigh and Patrick were also both sleeping. For Mike, despite the unease and hostility with his kids, he needed that quiet moment with each of them.

They were sleeping and couldn't argue with him or be angry. Things could be almost like they were years before or as they should have been all along. As he walked back into his and Christine's bedroom, he had to wonder if he really stood any chance at all. The Navy was known, he could go back and knew the outcome. With his family, even if he tried his hardest, it might not work out. Did he dare retiring and then lose his family and his career?

Christine was still reading, but pretty much as soon as Mike laid down next to her, she put her book down and shut her bedside light off. She rolled over on her side away from him and Mike shut his light off. Even before he had moved out, when things were souring but before he formally moved out; Christine would always cuddle close. Maybe she was used to sleeping alone now.

Mike tossed and turned for several hours, even after Christine fell asleep. The last time he looked at the alarm clock, it was almost four am. The younger kids had school and Katie had an early class. It would be weird to spend the day at home with just Christine and Mary. He had a honey-do list, he noticed that Christine's SUV needed washed, and he wanted to check the fluids on it.

When he did finally wake up, Christine was already up and showering. It was not even seven yet and he needed more sleep but he also felt the need to help Christine with the school routine. Mike wasn't sure if Christine had forgotten about him being home or figured he was still asleep, but she walked out in her towel. She had her back to him and he finally caught her attention.

"Hey. You didn't sleep very well. Figured you would still be out." Christine said with a smile. She had crossed her arms in front of her, almost self-consciously. At one point in their marriage, Mike would have teased her about it. Now, everything was awkward.

"Yeah. I don't know why I couldn't sleep. Do you need help with the kids?" Mike asked.

"You have a lot on your mind. Hannah pretty well gets herself up and dressed. Katie will be out the door in the next little bit, which leaves the twins. Patrick is a bear to wake up. Molleigh practically bounces out of bed." Christine said as she chose what she would be wearing that day and walked to the closet, obviously not wanting to dress in front of Mike. He got up and dressed while she was out of the room. By the time she walked back in, he was finished and they walked out of the room together, immediately bumping into Hannah.

"MOM! You slept with him? Seriously?" Hannah asked rudely.

"I slept in a bed with him. Otherwise, he would have been sleeping on the couch or with Patrick. I am not that cruel. Check the attitude, young lady. You will be respectful." Christine stated.

"He shouldn't be here." Hannah said before walking down the stairs. Mike didn't want to have her words affect him, but they did. It hurt. He knew he deserved them and much worse, but Hannah had always been such a sweetheart. What had happened to her? Could he get his little sweetheart back?

"Mike, I know it hurts, but as I said last night; you still have to love her." Christine said as if reading his thoughts. She was rubbing his shoulder gently and smiling at him.

"Yeah, but she doesn't have to love me." Mike remarked as he looked at a picture on the wall, a picture of him holding Hannah when she was just a few minutes old.

"True, but I'll let you in on something; Hannah wouldn't be so hurt or angry if she didn't still love you. As I also told you, I won't give you an ultimatum, but if you go back to the Navy, you will lose her. Now, you still stand a chance." Christine told him.

"I don't see how." Mike told her.

"Just stay patient, don't lose your temper no matter how harsh she is or how unlovable she makes herself. She is still that little girl that you adored." Christine explained.

"I suppose." Mike said.

"Mike, I know. It will be a slow process but she is hurting too but masking it with anger. Same thing you do. She is her father's daughter. Katie will give you a pass if I'm not hurt again. Molleigh and Patrick are still young and you can make up for lost time. You just have to apply yourself. You can be a good dad and they know that. They want you to be the best you can be." Christine said before she walked into Molleigh's room, leaving Mike to wake up Patrick. As Mike walked into the little boy's room, he had to pause for a moment. Patrick resembled Lucas closely and sometimes it hurt.

"Come on, Patrick; you have school." Mike said as he turned Patrick's light on. Patrick immediately threw a pillow at Mike. Mike could duck it but it did shock him a bit.

"Oh, Dad. You're doing it wrong. Here?" Katie said as she stepped in and began tickling Patrick. She had shut the light off and Patrick began rousing immediately. Had Mike never woke the twins up? Even when he had lived with Christine and the kids, Mike was generally out the door by six am, leaving the morning routine to Christine.

"I…didn't know." Mike remarked.

"Its okay. Patrick, I have to get to school but you need to get up. Dad will help you get ready." Katie said before snapping her fingers next to Patrick's ear, something Mike had noticed Christine doing the night before when she tried to get Patrick's attention.

"Don't wanna!" Patrick said.

"Too bad. C'mon." Katie said as she hauled Patrick out of bed and sit him on his feet.

"What's Mama fixing for breakfast?" Patrick asked.

"She made an overnight breakfast casserole last night. I already put it in the oven. Pat, I really have to go. Here's some clothes. Get dressed and come downstairs." Katie ordered.

"Do I need to stay with him?" Mike asked.

"No. He can dress himself, but you might come back up if he isn't down in ten minutes. There's coffee made and Grandma is up and in her chair. I'd better go." Katie said. Mike stopped her before she ran down the stairs.

"Can I…would you mind if I gave you a hug?" Mike asked. He had never had to ask to hug one of his kids. It hurt and it was all his fault.

"Sure." Katie said before giving him a stiff hug. It was not as enthuastic as he would have preferred, but it would have to suffice.

"Have a good day. Drive safe." Mike said before letting her go.

"I will." Katie said before heading down the stairs.

"And Katie? I do love you." Mike said. Katie only smiled back at him and walked the rest of the way down and headed out the front door. What Mike wouldn't give to hear one of his kids say, 'I love you.' He needed to hear it.


	22. Chapter 22

**What If**

Chapter 22

Mike changed Christine's oil, washed the SUV, traded out the air filters in the house, changed light bulbs, cleaned the pool, and several other things to stay busy. He liked the busy work and it made him realize how much he had neglected. He needed to repaint the porch and fix some shingles that had been damaged in a recent thunderstorm.

By the time he finished all his projects for the day, the twins and Hannah were getting home. Hannah had homework and didn't want to be anywhere near Mike, but the twins had the routine of swimming for awhile before supper. Mike wanted the cool-down and it would give him some time with Molleigh and Patrick, while Christine cooked dinner and fed Mary.

He hadn't realized how rough Christine's routine was. The entire time they had been separated, he thought she was lazy since she hadn't returned to work. When Mary had her stroke, Christine had told him that she needed to care for her. It would have been easier for Christine to place her into a nursing home, but it was Mary. They both adored her.

Katie got home just before dinner and helped Mike with the twins. They took a bath before supper. Katie helped with Molleigh while Mike helped Patrick. His younger kids were warming up but it would take time and wouldn't happen if Mike left. One thing had changed, Mike didn't feel they were as spoiled as he had thought. They were a total joy and Molleigh gave the best hugs.

He also had realized how much he had missed Christine's cooking. He had always missed it when he was deployed and now, he was savoring everything she cooked. Shockingly, supper was a pleasant experience, even with Hannah. There was still room for improvement but it was a little better.

Mike had insisted the Christine relax while he cleaned up from supper, and somehow Hannah had been recruited to help him. She didn't talk a lot but at least she was in the same room and near him. It was a gain for him.

Both older girls had homework that they went upstairs for, leaving Mike and Christine to tuck the twins in and to help Mary. Mike got hugs and kisses from Molleigh and even a hug from Patrick. While Christine helped Mary with her shower and into bed, Mike locked everything up and shut lights off. As Mike had settled, he found that he was enjoying the routine at home, something he thought would bore him.

He still struggled with rather he would retire but knew that he was also enjoying the hugs and kisses from his younger kids and hoped he could regain something with his older kids. He would lose that if he didn't retire.

And then there was Christine. He didn't know how to repair his marriage and he still hadn't figured out the answers to her questions. She felt there was some sort of physical aspect about her that he didn't like anymore. Like him, she wasn't twenty anymore. She had had five babies. There was cellulite and an extra fifteen pounds that hung around since the twins were born.

Mike had never been shallow. He knew that Christine's body would change with each baby that they had. He also knew that she was not 'high maintence.' She didn't care about having manicures and pedicures, having the newest clothes or having her hair freshly done. She never had.

The wrinkles and gray hair didn't bother him. He had enough of his own. He had watched her gardening, cooking dinner and tending to Mary and his kids. He could see nothing wrong with her physically and since the Red Flu, she had lost some of her brashness. Had he cheated on her before, she would have taken him for everything he was worth. Now, he wasn't getting a free pass but it was like she had already forgiven him. He just didn't know how to get past the hurt he had caused her. And he only had two allies that might help him. Katie and Mary. Katie was sitting on her bed, reading when Mike stuck his head in.

"Can I talk to you for a minute?" Mike asked.

"Sure." Katie said before closing her textbook. Mike walked in, shut the door and sat in the desk chair, turning it to face her.

"Thanks. Katie, I know you're still upset with me and all this seems to be contingent on me retiring. My fear is, I retire but can't fix all this with you guys and your mom. Then I don't have a family and I don't have a career. Navy is known to me. This, here, is not. I realize all of this is my fault but I honestly don't know how to fix it. I know the key is with your mom but what? I'm asking you because your grandma has never wanted to be involved in such things but she is my next resort." Mike asked. Katie sat on her bed in deep thought for a minute and then stood up and walked to her bookshelf, pulling a photo album out and flipping to a picture. She handed it to Mike and pointed at the one that she wanted him to look at. Mike in his dress whites and Christine in a formal gown. It had been before a Naval ball several years before.

"When you two went to that ball, I remember thinking how happy you seemed. You acted like Mom was the only woman in the world. She was really the only woman in your orbit. I don't know what changed. Maybe it was all the deployments since the Red Flu, knowing things were just getting worse. You had a lot of lonely nights out there and your career got in the way. It was easier to stay on the base then come home. That communicated to Mom, to all of us, we weren't worth the twenty-mile drive. It was hard enough on us kids, but it really hurt Mom. She took it personally. I don't know that that was your intention, but it was how it seemed." Katie answered as she sat back down on the end of her bed.

"Not my intention but how do I fix it?" Mike asked.

"Where Mom is concerned, the retirement thing is a test. If you retire, it shows that would sacrifice your career for your family. I think you would be golden then. If you don't, you reiterate that she isn't worth coming home to. Let me ask, you are the Admiral of the Navy now? Top of the top? That's rare, correct? Fleet Admiral and the news refers to you as Admiral of the Navy, now since Tom is semi-retired. Where can you go career-wise now?" Katie asked.

"Pretty much it unless I become Secretary of the Navy or something of that nature. Those types of careers aren't for me. Too political. I would be at a desk, not on a DDG or even an aircraft carrier." Mike explained.

"So, you have a choice. Your wife and kids or a career that there will be no advancement in. Seems pretty clear to me." Katie stated.

"Maybe. But, I still thing I need to do…do something with your mom. She is convinced that there is some sort of physical aspect to why I cheated." Mike stated.

"I can see that if Andrea had been younger but she was Mom's age. I honestly don't know but I do know, she has talked about you taking her out for lunch constantly since you did. You don't have to do that every day but some flowers or chocolate occasionally might help. Don't saturate her with gifts but make a point to notice her outfit or how she looks. I think you can agree with me, Mom is still a very pretty woman, yes?" Katie asked.

"Yes, of course." Mike said.

"Then treat her like it. You don't have to worry about Andrea now. You won't upset her and I don't mean that harshly. Mom should be your only concern." Katie said.

"And you kids?" Mike asked.

"Dad, everything is dependent on Mom. If we see you treating her better and actually acting like you love her, things will fall into place. We know that you love her, we know that you love us; but we need you to act like it. When you told me this morning that you loved me, you noticed I didn't respond back? It isn't because I don't love you. Hannah acting like this isn't because she doesn't love you; we do love you, but right now, and lately, you haven't been very lovable. Not very likeable either. You can change this, Dad. But you have to work on it. Saying the words isn't enough. You have to act them out and you haven't been." Katie explained.

"You make it sound easy." Mike stated.

"Was it hard before?" Katie responded.

"No." Mike answered, completely ashamed of himself.

"Then get to it. And I need to study." Katie said. Mike stood up, started for the door but then backtracked and kissed Katie on the top of the head.

"I promise, sis. I love you." Mike said before walking out of the door. Katie had made several points. Hannah was already asleep and Christine was in their bedroom, rubbing her feet. "Too many years on your feet have really messed them up?" Mike said as he sat down in front of Christine and began giving her a foot and ankle massage. He noticed the serene look on her face. When was the last time he had given her a massage of any sort? When she was pregnant with the twins?

"Oh, that feels so good. My back would feel even better." Christine hinted.

"Yes, ma'am." Mike said as he gave both her calves a final rub down and then sit behind her on the bed, massaging the small of her back. He really didn't mean it as a sexual advance. He just wasn't completely sure how to do what Katie had suggested.

"What's on your mind? I know you were talking to Katie." Christine asked.

"I…I'm kind of struggling with how to do this, fix things? I know retirement is a huge part of it; but I don't think that's the only answer. Katie told me that you all know that I love you, but me saying the words aren't enough. I have to show you too. I…did I ever do that? How do I do that?" Mike asked. Christine turned around on the bed to face him.

"You were always good at it. Its…this, giving me a massage after a long day. Helping the twins with their swimming. Simple stuff, Mike. None of us have to have elaborate. We just want you." Christine said.

"Even after…Andrea?" Mike asked.

"That still hurts. Its hard to explain. I keep thinking I did something wrong to cause it. I don't remember us really having a fight. We just kind of…drifted apart. The funny thing is, if we can get past the hurdle, I really don't worry about it happening again." Christine explained.

"But I have to retire?" Mike asked.

"Part of it, yes. I am afraid that if you don't, you'll fall back into old habits. Not necessarily cheating but not being involved with the kids. You can't afford that. Your absence has taught them one thing, they can get by without you. They just need to prefer not to." Christine said as she put her hand over his.

"My fear is that I retire and all this backfires and I not only lose my family but I also lose my career. If I don't have that and don't have you all, I have nothing. The Navy is known. This is unknown." Mike explained. He was afraid of it making Christine mad, but she just nodded and put both hands on his shoulders.

"I promise, Mike; I will fight for our marriage with everything I have, retirement or not. It will just be easier if you retire. It is not an ultimatum for me and I really don't think it is for the kids. They just want to be your first option, not the option you go to when you are home from deployment and not planning the next invasion, war or deployment." Christine told him.

"It seems about the same. Connected with them is about like going to war." Mike remarked.

"Let me help you. Katie still loves going out for fancy dinners. Remember your daddy/daughter dates with her? You'd wear a suit and she'd wear a pretty dress? Sometimes I helped you with a picnic in the backyard with her if we didn't have the money to take her out. With Hannah, she likes to go to the movies. She can't play sports because her asthma has gotten worse. She frequently goes by herself. Patrick desperately wants to play Little League but you know how bad I am throwing a ball around and Molleigh is a mini-Katie. She would love a fancy dinner date with her daddy." Christine advised.

"Provided they'll be in the same room with me." Mike stated.

"They will be if you try." Christine said as she stood up and walked to her side of the bed, preparing it to lay down.

"And you?" Mike asked as he fixed his side of the bed.

"Just try, Mike. You are headed in the right direction. Just keep moving forward." Christine said.

"So, you don't really expect fancy dates and such?" Mike asked.

"I don't expect anything. I appreciate an occasional breakfast out, a massage, a bouquet of flowers from the grocery store, or my favorite candy bar. Effort is everything." Christine said as she laid down in the bed. Mike started to walk away to change into pajamas when she stopped him. "And Mike, part of the reason you didn't sleep well last night was you were hot. You don't wear pajama pants or a t-shirt to bed. Your boxers are fine." Christine said.

"I…didn't want to seem…suggestive? I know you aren't ready to be intimate." Mike said.

"I'm not and neither are you but you should at least be comfortable. Besides, its not like these nightgowns are any less suggestive. I'm sure in the right lighting, they are sheer." Christine remarked.

"Can't say I didn't notice it. I did." Mike said with a grin. Christine smiled back at him and shook her head at him in mock frustration. He walked into the closet, grabbed a pair of boxers and headed in to take a shower. Despite his still mixed emotions, he felt a lot better. He'd had good talks with both Katie and Christine and had gotten hugs from his twins. He just had to figure out how to handle Hannah.


	23. Chapter 23

**What If**

Chapter 23

 _"We need to get your face out there. Admiral Chandler and several others are retiring. You will be the face of the military." President Reiss said over the phone. Mike had little respect for the man, but he still respected the office._

 _"With respect, sir; I'm hardly a poster child for anything. Besides, I need to spend some time at home. My wife and kids…" Mike started but Reiss interrupted him._

 _"You're an Admiral. The Navy needs you; this country needs you. Your wife and kids will just have to understand." Reiss said._

 _"That's the problem, Sir; they've understood for the past eighteen years; If I go, they won't be here when I get back. I will cap out at sixty. My parents and grandparents lived until they were in their eighties. I don't want the last twenty years of my life spent alone. I have things to sort out at home. I missed my oldest daughter's high school graduation, my fourteen-year-old hates me and my twins don't even know me. If it was left up to my kids, I wouldn't have a second chance, but thankfully, my wife has more faith in me then I have. I don't deserve the second change, but I do intend on taking advantage of it." Mike argued._

 _"Are you going to retire too?" Reiss asked._

 _"Possibly…probably. A land position wouldn't guarantee no deployments. I cannot deploy or even be gone for a long stretch of time." Mike said._

 _"When were you planning on telling me?" Reiss asked._

 _"I hadn't made a firm decision and besides, the house that my family has been living in was provided by President Michener. I wasn't sure if it would be a part of my retirement package. There is a lot of logistics to this, Sir." Mike reminded him. Reiss had no idea what it took to retire from the military post-Red Flu._

 _"Well, make up your mind. I'll check into the house. I know in past cases; we have gifted the property to the person for service." Reiss said before hanging up._

Mike walked back into the living area from the office. Fortunately, Christine and Mary were outside and the kids were outside. He had made some headway with Christine and Katie but could he afford to move his family elsewhere if he did retire? Moves were stressful and Mike didn't want any undue stress.

Mike had woken up with Christine sleeping on his chest, a lot like they had always slept before. It was comforting and they had spent a few moments just talking. She seemed to understand how difficult of a decision retiring was for him. Katie treated it like it was an obvious decision and Hannah was just cold and hostile to him.

Mike was fiddling with a leaky sink faucet in the powder room when he heard Hannah and the twins come in. He heard Patrick calling for Christine and stuck his head out to see what was needed. He immediately noticed the expression on Hannah's face, she was in the middle of an asthma attack.

"Mom's in the back. Go get her." Mike ordered as he walked towards Hannah. She shook her head at him, but he had to persist. "Where's your inhaler?" Mike asked and Hannah pointed at her backpack that she had thrown on the floor. Molleigh grabbed it and handed it to Mike. Hannah pointed at the outside pocket and Mike quickly pulled it out. It had been a long time since he had been around Hannah when she had an attack, but he still remembered how to administer the inhaler.

Finally, Christine came in and began assessing Hannah. It seemed like an eternity before she started breathing normally and seemed intensely exhausted. Mike had kept a hand on her back, more for his own peace of mind. Despite Hannah's hostility towards him; he still loved her and she had had an intense attack.

"That was a bad one. Hannah, what were you doing before?" Christine asked.

"My coach was gone and the assistant coach made me play soccer. They had just mowed the field. I don't think it was the soccer." Hannah said, still struggling for air.

"I'll call the school Monday morning." Christine told her.

"They had sprayed something on it too, for bugs; I think." Hannah said. She was still struggling for air and Mike guided her to the couch.

"Pesticide?" Mike asked and Hannah nodded.

"Yeah, that's what it was called. It smelled bad." Hannah said.

"I've told them she can't be around harsh chemicals. I can't clean with bleach and she can't even take a chemistry class. I'm going to try and see if anyone is at the school." Christine said as she grabbed the house phone. Mike had to smile slightly because she had reminded him of the feisty woman he had married, not someone that was so broken and Mike could only blame the brokenness on himself.

"Sorry, Mom." Hannah said. Mike remembered that Hannah had always felt guilty about her illness.

"Its okay, sweetie. Not your fault." Mike said as he sat down next to Hannah. He put his arm around her and she leaned into him. Mike wasn't sure if it was out of exhaustion or just because she needed the physical comfort he was offering. Whichever reason, Mike was happy to provide it.

Mary had made her way in with Patrick and Molleigh's help. Mike figured that since she was there, Hannah would opt for her, but she stayed with her head on Mike's chest, because she had fallen asleep. Normally, Mike would have moved her to a laying position, but he choose to stay put. He knew that it was a matter of exhaustion for Hannah, but for him; it was what he needed.

He heard Christine's raised voice a few times and could only hope that she wouldn't wake Hannah up. The twins were also on the couch and Mary was starting dinner. Katie was due home and it was the weekend. Mike had thought about seeing if Katie would watch the twins and help Mary so he could take Christine out on a date.

He had planned to take her for a nice dinner and dancing, something Christine had always enjoyed. He knew she was not ready for anything more then dating and talking but with Hannah being ill; it was out. It made him a little sad.

He and Andrea didn't date. Considering their careers, being seen in public on a date would have not been a good idea, not to mention that Mike was married. They worked and went back to his apartment. There was none of the sweet romance that he had always had with Christine. Mike was not a romantic guy but that time had always worked with Christine. He could and did distance himself from the Navy. That was not something he could do with Andrea, because all they really had in common was the Navy. So, they got home from work, ate dinner and watched TV until it was time to go to bed. There was not a lot of laughter.

Mike had cared deeply for Andrea and she had been a good friend for several years. Aside from a few good friends, Christine, Mary and apparently his older kids; no one knew that they were intimately involved and that when she died, Mike was hoping to go down with the James. He didn't understand how Christine would forgive him or how he stood a chance with his kids. Maybe it was wishful thinking, hoping that he and Christine could achieve their old love story again.

"Earth to Mike?" Christine's said and Mike focused on her standing in front of him.

"Sorry, I zoned out." Mike said. She sat down next to Hannah and smiled down at her.

"Its okay. I have a conference with Hannah's principle Monday, first thing. What's on your mind?" Christine asked.

"With Hannah not feeling well now, you might not want to, but I was going to see if Katie could help with the twins and your mom so we could go out for dinner and possibly dancing this weekend." Mike remarked.

"I'm sure she would but I don't want to do that. I would prefer going out for breakfast. Something I don't have to dress up for. Mike, you don't have to try so hard. I may be giving you mixed signals by saying that, but doing this? It's exactly what I want." Christine said.

"Okay." Mike said, not knowing what else to say.

"Mike, stop worrying so much. You are making serious headway. Just keep going." Christine ordered.

"I…okay. I did talk to the President. He's wanting to use me as some sort of poster child for the military. I told him I was contemplating retirement. He isn't happy." Mike said.

"Can he force you to stay in?" Christine asked.

"He could but my commission is up this week, as luck would have it. I can pull a full retirement now. Just have to wait a few days. He is looking into the house. Says that in past cases, the houses that were rewarded to the Nathan James crew were given to them as a thank you, but I'm not holding my breath." Mike told her.

"Is that what you want? We have all been telling you what we want but haven't asked what you wanted." Christine asked.

"I…don't know. My biggest fear is that I will retire and things won't work out between you and me. Then I won't have my family or my career. I know that sounds stupid, and this decision should be automatic. And this? Hannah? Is it me or is she…sicker?" Mike asked. Christine took a deep breath and checked to see if Hannah was sleeping soundly.

"Mike…remember when they told us they suspected that she had cystic fibrosis, but couldn't prove it? One doctor would say she had it and the next disagreed?" Christine asked. Mike remembered it well. They couldn't afford to take Hannah to anything but military doctors and couldn't get into a specialist to get a firm diagnosis, other then severe asthma. Her inhalers didn't always work and they had taken many trips to hospitals.

"Yeah. Did you find something out?" Mike asked.

"Rachel got me a referral into a pulmonologist. A really good one in Kansas City. She went with me and forced the testing. It came back that she had severe CF. They honestly don't know how she's survived so long and its only getting worse. A lot of the medications that would have been prescribed pre-Red Flu are no longer manufactured." Christine explained quietly.

"So, what next? Can't they do a lung transplant?" Mike asked.

"No. There are not a lot of donors anymore and honestly, she isn't healthy enough." Christine stated.

"But…she seems fine…sort of. Does she know?" Mike asked. He really wanted to ask why she hadn't told him but he was too heartbroken.

"Yes. And I know you are wondering why I didn't tell you. Initially it was because we didn't know if you were alive after Mayport. Then you didn't call home when you were stateside. She was really hurt and she masked it with anger. Then the James sunk and you called home. I wasn't going to tell the kids that you might come home, but I did talk to Hannah. She wanted you to opt to stay home before telling you. I know you're upset and angry but try to understand it from her viewpoint. Mike, I was not going to let you leave without knowing." Christine said.

"So…she's…dying?" Mike asked. He whispered the question and the last word came out in a sob.

"Yes." Christine said simply as she leaned over and rubbed his arm.

"How…long?" Mike asked.

"That is what I can't tell you. Until she got to the point that she couldn't, she wanted to go to school and be a normal kid. I think we are at that point now. I am sorry, Mike. When you called home, I didn't feel right about telling you on the phone and then she voiced waiting to tell you. She really wants you to stay home but didn't feel like she should have to beg you or guilt you into it." Christine explained. Her voice was starting to break and all Mike could do was brush his fingers through Hannah's hair.

"Who knows, besides Rachel and Hannah?" Mike asked.

"Mom. You understand, I couldn't not tell her? She has said from the beginning that you needed to know." Christine said.

"So, what now?" Mike asked.

"That ball is in your court. I will tell you; Hannah is concerned that if you do retire, her health needs won't be covered. You know how guilty she has always felt about being sick." Christine told him.

"I will have to figure that out. I should have health benefits for you and the kids." Mike said.

"We will handle it. Rachel is in Kansas City, working with that doctor to see if they can come up with something but the clock is ticking. And I think, now that your home; it's become a time bomb." Christine remarked.

"Like she'll give up?" Mike asked.

"Yeah. She really wanted you home." Christine said.

"I see." Mike said.

"Mike, its okay to be angry at me for not telling you, but I think you understand, Hannah needs you. And you need to be with her. You didn't have this time with Lucas. It will destroy you if you miss this time with Hannah." Christine said.

"May destroy me anyways." Mike remarked.

"Maybe, it will destroy us all but at least she'll have us with her when its time." Christine said.

"True." Mike said as he cradled Hannah even closer. Christine stood up and bent down and kissed Hannah's forehead and then his. Mike knew his knee jerk reaction should be anger towards Christine but he just couldn't do that. What he could do was pray that Rachel would beat Hannah's time bomb.


	24. Chapter 24

**What If**

Chapter 24

Mike walked into the President's Office the next Monday morning. He had his resignation in hand. Despite the progression of Hannah's illness, it had not been an easy decision; more for financial reasons now. There was the uncertainty concerning his retirement even being accepted, insurance concerns and then there was the house. Like Christine, he was not completely attached to the house and understood if he couldn't keep it, but he also hated the idea of moving his family, specifically Hannah while she was so sick.

When she found out that Mike knew, the one thing she had begged for was to die at home. Hannah had always had a dread of hospitals because of her illness. The house was the only home she had known for the past several years. Mike hated the idea of moving her.

Then the insurance issues. The benefit package that Mike would probably be awarded with came with insurance for his family, but the military insurance notoriously didn't pay for experimental treatments. If Rachel could beat the timebomb that Hannah had become, her treatment would be experimental. Mike would have mortgaged everything he had to pay for it, but he couldn't mortgage a house he didn't even own and Christine's SUV was also provided by the government. He had no idea how he was going to pay for anything.

Reiss was in no huge hurry to see Mike and he had to wait quite a while, despite having an eleven am appointment. It was almost one before he was called into Reiss' office. Thankfully, Christine had had the meeting with the counselor and principal earlier and was back home. Reiss sat down at his desk with a huff and gestured at Mike to walk in further. Until Reiss did otherwise, Mike would have to stand at attention. Normally Mike wouldn't have an issue with that but for some reason, it bugged him.

"Still thinking about retirement. You do realize if you stayed on, you could do anything politically, right? Maybe even oust me out of this office." Reiss stated.

"I am even more committed to retirement, Sir. Here's my resign…" Mike said before trying to hand the paper to Reiss.

"Give it to my secretary. I was hoping you would reconsider." Reiss said.

"Yes, Sir. About housing, insurance and my benefit package? I have a seriously ill…" Mike started again.

"I haven't had time to look into the house. From what I seen in records, Michener allowed the Nathan James crew to stay in those houses and Oliver deeded them and the vehicles that were given to you all. Once I find the deed for your house, I will message it. As far as benefits, you'll have full retirement. A very healthy sum. About $6000 a month and the health, eye and dental will be included for yourself, and your wife for the duration of your lives. The kids will be covered until they are twenty-five. Their college educations will also be totally covered. I understand you have a daughter in Pre-Med. She's already taking advantage of it. In my opinion, this is entirely too generous, but getting it repealed now will be an act of congress and they are committed to caring for the James crew." Reiss complained and Mike had it, but he needed to keep his mouth shut.

"Thank you, Sir. I do appreciate it. On the off chance, do you know if the health portion will pay for experimental treatments? My daughter is…" Mike started.

"Has it ever paid for experimental treatments? I don't think it will now, but I am hardly an insurance person." Reiss said. Mike decided to just leave before he said something he would regret. He would just figure out something for Hannah later.

"Thank you, Sir." Mike said as he tried to salute but Reiss shooed him away. He didn't return the salute or even stand when Mike left.

On his way out, Mike handed the letter of resignation to the secretary and headed to Christine's SUV. He was going to have to find another vehicle soon because they couldn't keep getting by with one vehicle between them. With a disabled mother-in-law, twins, a seriously ill child and a college student, it was too hard. Thankfully, Katie had her own vehicle but it didn't really help Mike.

As he got in the vehicle, he seen a text from Tom, wanting to take him for lunch. He didn't even know that Tom was in town and while he wanted to get back to his family; he also needed a listening ear. He was frustrated at Christine for not telling him about Hannah sooner. He was trying desperately not to be angry with her. Most of it was his own fault anyway. She had gotten the diagnosis the day of Mayport and he hadn't called home. By the time that he did call home, Christine didn't feel comfortable telling him over the phone, and then let a fourteen-year-old decide. That was the part that frustrated Mike. He called Tom, who answered on the second ring.

 _"Hey, sorry I didn't answer immediately. I left my phone in the truck. I am okay with lunch but do you still want to?" Mike asked._

 _"Sure. I'm still hungry. McGregor's? I can be there in about ten minutes. Steak and beer?" Tom asked._

 _"Sounds good. I'll order. How do you want yours cooked?" Mike asked._

 _"Medium well. Want the sautéed onions and fries with it. Tap beer is fine." Tom said._

" _Meet you there." Mike said before hanging up._

Mike drove to the bar that he and Tom frequented after Mike's separation from Christine. Tom stayed part of the time in St. Louis and part of the time in Norfolk back then and neither he nor Mike enjoyed cooking. He walked in, found a table and ordered for him and Tom. He decided to call Christine before Tom got there. He was afraid once Tom arrived and Mike told him what was going on, the bashing would begin. Tom had never been a huge Christine fan, due to her earlier brash nature.

" _Hey, wanted to let you know I am done with the President and was meeting Tom for lunch. Do you need anything? How's Hannah?" Mike asked, knowing that Hannah had stayed home from school._

" _We are good. Can you grab some milk and bread?" Christine asked._

" _Sure will. Are you in a hurry for it?" Mike asked._

" _No. Just as long as I have it for supper. What I'm cooking, I don't need a lot of milk for and we have some left." Christine said._

" _Yes, ma'am." Mike said._

" _How'd it go?" Christine asked._

" _As well as can be expected. I will explain it all when I get home but the resignation is in. Health insurance wise, we're covered. Just not sure on Rachel's treatment but I'll figure it out." Mike explained._

" _Yeah, I have no idea on the cost of all that. I'm sure it won't be cheap." Christine said._

" _We will handle it. I'll be home in an hour or so. Tom just walked in." Mike said._

" _Alright. Mike, thank you. I love you." Christine said._

" _I love you too and your welcome." Mike said before hanging up. As upset as he was with her, he wanted to give Hannah the peace of having both parents with her. He could deal with being frustrated and upset with Christine._

Tom walked in about the same time their food and drinks arrived. Both men preferred to eat before getting into heavy conversation. Mike could only hope that Tom wouldn't be too disrespectful to Christine.

"So, what's next for you?" Tom asked.

"I put my resignation in. I'm done." Mike told him.

"I'm a little shocked. I figured they would have to take you off a ship in a body bag. Where are you staying? BOQ?" Tom asked.

"No, the house. It was time for retirement." Mike said as he took a swig of his beer.

"The house? With Christine and the kids? Does she know about Andrea?" Tom asked.

"She does. We are working through things. I need to be home. Years ago, when Hannah was little; the asthma diagnosis didn't seem to explain everything but we couldn't afford the specialists she needed and you know about military benefits. One doctor would tell us she had cystic fibrosis, the next said it was just severe asthma. We could never get a firm answer. Christine frequently had to hit Hannah in the middle of the back to clear her lungs of mucus. That is a common problem with CF. While I was…not here, Rachel got Hannah into a specialist in Kansas City. The day that Mayport happened, Christine got a call back. Hannah has severe Cystic Fibrosis and she is basically suffocating. Rachel and the specialist are in KC, looking for a treatment, but until that happens, Hannah is dying. Christine thinks now that I'm home, its only a matter of time." Mike explained.

"Oh, God; Mike. I'm sorry." Tom said simply.

"Yeah, me too. It didn't help that I didn't call when I got home from Mayport. After the James sunk, I called home. We were headed for New Orleans and Christine got me to come home. What bothers me was it was a couple days before she told me about the diagnosis. Only after Hannah had an asthma attack did she tell me." Mike said.

"So, what are you going to do? I understand wanting to be there for Hannah but Christine should have found a way to let you know." Tom asked.

"Admittedly, I didn't call her after Mayport. Couldn't. She thought I was dead for three weeks until Ashley showed up at the house needing help with something. And I didn't call her when I was stateside. I should have. She is being a bit dodgy on things concerning our marriage and I told her that Andrea and I were living together. That hurt her. I really don't know what we are going to do, other then make whatever time Hannah has as happy as possible." Mike told him.

"I guess I should have called her to let her know that you were alive. I had the ability to. She would have told me at the very least for you to get in touch. Look, I always thought that Christine was a…witch. I never liked her. You know that. She has changed since the Red Flu. She's more understanding. Not so brash. Maybe my earlier opinion of her caused me not to call her, which delayed you knowing about Hannah. As much as I didn't like Christine, I never thought that you and Andrea belonged together. I never understood the relationship. I loved Andrea; she was a good friend but you two…you were an odd couple. I realize Christine is getting older, but what was the attraction to Andrea?" Tom asked.

"I really don't know and our relationship never had the same spark Christine and I have had. Had I had an affair before, Christine would have probably castrated me with a dull knife. Now, she is just hurt by it. Very hurt. She wants me to figure out why I stepped away in the first place. Something she had done? Her physical appearance?" The problem is, I don't have an answer. I have no idea." Mike said.

"I personally think it was that you got bored with her physically. The thing is, when most men get involved with another woman besides their wife, the other woman is younger, beautiful usually. Not saying that Andrea wasn't but she wasn't who I would have figured you cheating on your still very attractive wife. Was Andrea just your first option? If that's the case, what happens when a younger option comes along? Will you cheat again?" Tom asked and Mike nearly spit his beer out.

"NO! Jesus, Tom." Mike said.

"So, list out what you still admire about Christine. Not personality wise. Physically. C'mon, Mike. You won't find your answer until you do this." Tom encouraged.

"With you? Here?" Mike asked.

"Yep. No better time." Tom said.

"I'm going to tell you about my sex life with my wife?" Mike asked.

"Yes, but not completely. Her physical attributes too. Let me ask this to get you started, how did the sex compare between Andrea and Christine?" Tom asked.

"I can't believe we're doing this. With Christine, things slowed after she had the twins. They were only three weeks old when I headed for Asia. By the time I got back, I had been a POW. We had a night out and a hotel room." Mike started.

"I would assume that you took advantage of that?" Tom asked.

"This is embarrassing. Do you remember all the classes about PTSD? They said that one of the symptoms can be low libido?" Mike asked. It was Tom's turn to choke.

"Yeah. Did you have an issue?" Tom asked.

"I…couldn't finish. I remember Christine thinking she had done something wrong. It was me." Mike remarked.

"Mike, there have been times when we all couldn't finish. Whether it was PTSD or whatever, its happened. Did you ever have that issue with Andrea or with Christine since?" Tom asked.

"There hasn't been a since with Christine. I went to therapy and then got deployed. Come home from the Med, and things started falling apart between us. We just…drifted apart. As far as Andrea, I never had any issues but it wasn't the same. With Christine, that part of our relationship was really great. I was her first and no doubt, her only but we always had a good sexual relationship." Mike said.

"Not so good with Andrea?" Tom asked.

"No, and not just in that area. We got home from work and ate dinner and watched TV. Opposite sides of the couch. Then we'd go to sleep and slept as far apart on the bed as possible. Andrea said it was because I was like a radiator. It just wasn't the same. With Christine, even now, with things being shaky; we talk and laugh. She sleeps on my chest and I haven't slept so good in a long time. There's substance to our relationship. It was like with Andrea, we both knew what we were doing was wrong; and it affected everything." Mike said.

"When she was dying, Andrea said something to you. What was it?" Tom questioned.

"You saw that?" Mike replied.

"I did and I also noticed you didn't respond back." Tom said.

"She said…she loved me. I should have told her it back. I did love her, as a friend. Not like I do Christine. But I should have given Andrea that peace." Mike remarked.

"It wouldn't have been right. Mike, I still think you noticed something about Christine that didn't appeal to you anymore. I just don't know what. Make that list." Tom ordered.

"This is weird." Mike said.

"Was it that she'd had five kids? Darien only had two but her body changed. I didn't care but a lot of men do." Tom asked.

"I…Christine lost most of the weight she gained with the twins. She has a few stretch marks and her belly isn't so tight anymore but that never bothered me." Mike said.

"Her breasts, maybe? I know she nursed and remember Darien nursing Ashley. Things drooped a bit. She wasn't so perky anymore. I always told her that it didn't bother me, but it did." Tom admitted.

"She's nursed all five of ours. And no, not so perky. If the truth were known, it does bug me but I'm sure I'm not so perky either." Mike said and Tom choked again.

"Given. Anything else? Hair, skin? I don't think its personality because I think her personality has improved. Course, I don't live with her." Tom asked.

"Her hair is a little grayer but so is mine. We both have wrinkles that we didn't have before. And I like her personality a bit better. She just seems broken. I did that to her." Mike commented. He had stopped drinking so that he could drive and the waitress had cleared their table and brought them both coffees.

"Or the fact that she's facing losing another child and has to care for her and her disabled mother? Her marriage is in shambles, but I would bet that some of the brokenness is dread for what is going to come. The one thing that I have always respected about Christine was the type of mother she was. She loves her kids and losing a second one? I can't imagine." Tom said.

"True. I am dreading that too. And I have to figure out how I'm going to pay for whatever treatment Rachel comes up with. It'll be experimental and won't be paid for by our benefit package. I won't let the finances stop it but that's a stressor with retirement." Mike said as he pulled his wallet out to pay the bill. Tom was cheap and never picked up the tab.

"I have an idea for that but let me make a call. I got an offer yesterday that I don't want to do, but I will see if its open for you. Should more then pay for Hannah's care and treatment." Tom said.

"What?" Mike asked.

"Be patient. I need to check." Tom replied as he stood up.

"You'll get the tip?" Mike asked. Tom grudgingly put a five-dollar bill down and frowned at Mike.

"They have a line on the slip that you fill in the amount of tip you want to give. Think about what I asked about Christine. Was it just her boobs? Doesn't seem like you would cheat about that. And how does she fix it?" Tom asked.

"I have no idea. She isn't up for sex right now." Mike said.

"I don't blame her. Figure it out, tell her it was more you then her and then see if you can attract her again. Should be about like a bull in a china closet. I'll give you a call." Tom said before leaving. All Mike could do was shake his head and sign the receipt. Tom was an expensive friend.

 **I know there was a lot of weird talk in this considering my other stories and I'm not sure how much a retirement package like Mike's might consist of so I guessed $6000 a month. I know that's high! I also didn't care for Reiss at all in Season Five. More so then I didn't like Michener. Thanks for the reviews.**


	25. Chapter 25

**What If**

Chapter 25

Mike grabbed the milk and bread that Christine had asked for, along with the bouquet of sunflowers that had had her name all over them at the grocery store. He had also bought the kids ice cream for after dinner and a book for Mary. Normally he wouldn't have spoiled them but they needed it and he wanted to at least make Christine somewhat happy.

When he walked through the house to the living area, he noticed Mary in her bedroom. He stepped in and handed her the book and got a huge smile in response. She told him that Christine was cooking dinner and the kids were in the living room. As soon as he walked in with the flowers in his free hand, Christine gave him a massive smile.

"Those are pretty." She said as he handed them to her.

"I'm glad you like them. I couldn't remember if you liked sunflowers and they're only from the grocery store." Mike explained as he put the milk and ice cream away.

"I love sunflowers and tulips. And I don't mind them being from the grocery store. I just love fresh flowers. Is that ice cream for after supper?" Christine asked. Mike had noticed Molleigh eyeing him from the living room but he wasn't sure why.

"Yeah. Figured dessert. Molleigh, what's wrong?" Mike asked the little girl and indicated for her to come into the kitchen with him and Christine.

"When are you leaving? You just got back and you're spending time with us now instead of talking on your phone all the time and…" Molleigh would have continued but she dissolved into tears and stuffed her face into Christine's stomach.

"Mike, I think its your uniform. Every time she's ever seen you in a uniform, you've been leaving. Go change and I'll talk to her." Christine told him.

"Oh, right. I had to wear it with the meeting I had today." Mike said.

"I'll explain that to her. Go on. Put something more comfortable on." Christine told him as she knelt next to Molleigh. Mike noticed that Hannah and Patrick also gave him very guarded looks. He ran up the steps and took a fast shower, changing into a pair of swim trunks and a t-shirt. He had to admit, taking the uniform off was a relief. He was beginning to realize how neglectful of a father he had been to his kids. It was time to explain to his kids that he had put his papers in. Hopefully, it would end the air of tension.

He walked back downstairs and smiled at his kids gathered around the kitchen island. Katie had gotten home and Christine was gently explaining to them that they would be seeing their dad in his work uniform more but it didn't mean he was leaving. Hannah and Katie seemed to understand but the twins were confused by so much. Mike decided to take matters in his own hands.

"I will have to wear my uniform for a few meetings and possibly a party, but I actually turned in my retirement papers today. It will take about a month for me to phase out but it'll be easier since I'm not currently deployed. I won't have to work a regular schedule because of some banked up vacation time, but I'll be home a lot." Mike explained.

"But…my medicines cost so much." Hannah said, obviously worried.

"Part of my retirement package is health benefits for myself and your mom until we die and you kids until your twenty-five." Mike told her.

"This house?" Katie asked.

"It sounds like we'll be able to stay here. You kids don't need to worry about that stuff. Just know that I am home for good." Mike told them. He anticipated the kids to be more excited but they all just kind of shrugged and walked into the living room. "I thought they'd be more excited." Mike remarked to Christine who was putting their dinner in serving bowls and platters for Mike to carry into the dining room.

"Mike, you've said it before. That you're home for good. Just not that you've retired. You will have to prove it. Rachel called me and…" Christine started and Mike put the platter of chicken fried steak in clear excitement.

"And, she has it?" Mike said.

"She's…no, Mike. She had a trial that she thought would work but her lab rat died. She's modifying, evaluating and experimenting. It takes time." Christine explained.

"How much time does she have?" Mike asked quietly. It was disappointing.

"I don't know. I will tell you, the specialist suggested calling hospice in but I want to refuse it. We know Hannah wants to stay at home and I'm fine with that, but I'm her mother. I want to care for my baby." Christine said emotionally.

"I know you are capable of taking care of her and she couldn't ask for a better nurse, but if it gets to be too much, I need you to be willing to concede. If it comes down to it, it is not going to be easy and you already take care of your mom. Is this experimental medicine going to be expensive?" Mike asked. He'd put his arm around Christine and she had kind of sagged into him.

"I'm sure if they can get it safe for her, it will be. The benefit package won't pay for it, will it?" Christine asked as they began carrying food into the dining room.

"No. But Tom has something up his sleeve. I have no idea what. No telling with him. Said he had had an offer and he passed it but was going to check and see if it was open to me." Mike explained.

"Not selling your body or something crazy like that?" Christine said with a smile. He knew she was joking and it felt normal.

"I would refuse that offer too." Mike told her.

"I would hope. Alright, while I get Mom, can you have the kids set the table?" Christine asked. She started to walk out but Mike caught her hand.

"Of course, and please know, what happened with Andrea will never happen again. Obviously, not with her but also not with any other woman. I don't know if we will ever get back to that point again, but even if we don't; I will never look elsewhere. I couldn't stand to hurt you again like this." Mike told her. Since Christine had told him the severity of Hannah's illness, they hadn't even discussed their marriage.

"I know, I just wish it hadn't happened in the first place. The fact that you cared about her really hurts. The extent of your relationship hurts. I don't know what would have been better, if this is better then a fling or a one-night stand? I also don't know why. I think the why hurts more then the who or the how. Until we figure out the why, what was so wrong with me, then no; we will not ever get that back." Christine said quietly.

"I understand that. Do you remember that night after the government coup? The night we had the hotel room and everything?" Mike asked.

"Yes. It was a nice night." Christine said. She had a sad tone and he knew she was remembering how she felt like she had done something wrong when Mike couldn't perform.

"I don't think it was anything you did. I think it was me. You were so…beautiful. Still are." Mike said.

"Mike, can we discuss this later? The food is going to get cold and…I think you're wrong." Christine said before she pulled away and walked out of the dining room. She headed for Mary's room and Mike walked into the living area and began instructing the kids on how to set the table and helping Hannah carry in the drinks. Within a couple minutes, Christine and Mary joined them and they began eating the delicious dinner.

As Mike watched Christine from across the table, feeding Mary and herself, all while having a conversation with Katie about one of her classes; Mike tried to figure exactly what it was about her. He still felt it was him but she seemed fixated. It made him remember that night.

 _"I'm sorry, Mike. I thought I had lost all the weight from the twins." Christine said as she rubbed his back. He was sitting on the edge of the bed, facing away from her._

 _"I don't think it was you. Let's just go to sleep." Mike said as he turned and laid down. Neither of them had any clothes on and he considered putting his boxers on, but he didn't want to shut down anything happening later. Christine cuddled close and propped her chin up on her hand._

 _"It's not uncommon. You've had a stressful experience and I'm not twenty anymore. That probably is bothering you more then either of us care to admit. And men your age…sometimes have issues." Christine said. Mike raised up and looked at her in shock. She was supposed to be soothing his ego, not making it worse._

 _"So, this won't get better?" Mike asked._

 _"It might have only been a one-time thing, Mike. Don't get discouraged. We'll try again later and see what happens. I'll read up on it and see if there's something I can do. You've never had any problems in this area and I'm confident this is just a one-time problem." Christine assured him and then gave him a kiss before rolling over and going to sleep._

As Mike watched Christine, he remembered that they had never tried again later. He had never had issues like that with Andrea but it was not what it had been like with Christine. So, was it something with Christine? And how would he ever figure it out if they weren't ready to be intimate? He could certainly understand Christine's hesitancy, he'd caused it, but he didn't know what his next step would be.

They finished eating supper and ate the ice cream Mike had bought. Katie wanted to stay in and study and told Christine she would help Mary when it was time for her to bed, allowing Mike and Christine to take the twins and Hannah outside to swim. Christine had changed into a simple, black bathing suit and was playing with Patrick.

If anything, her figure was more toned because of having to lift and help Mary. She was forty-three but looked closer to her mid-thirties, even with some gray in her hair and a few worry lines. She bent down to pick up one of Patrick's water toys and Mike snuck a look. That part of her hadn't changed either. She had a knock-out body. He didn't know how long he stared but suddenly Hannah tapped his elbow.

"Dad, your gonna freak Mom out." Hannah said quietly.

"I…just trying to figure something out. How long was I staring?" Mike asked.

"Long enough that I noticed but she didn't. You are trying to figure out why you walked out on her?" Hannah said, she was good at stating the obvious.

"Something like that. I think it was something with me and she thinks it was her." Mike said.

"And Katie and I think its our fault." Hannah said. Mike knew one thing for absolute certain. His dying child could not think that she was the reason he deserted his family. He put an arm around her and pulled her close.

"Sweetie, nothing you or Katie did caused this mess. It was something with me and maybe your mom. I don't want you to even think like this." Mike told her.

"Are you only saying that because of how sick I am?" Hannah asked.

"No, I fully intend on saying the same thing to Katie, and Molleigh and Patrick if I need to. I walked out on you guys too and you didn't deserve it. Clear?" Mike asked.

"Yes, sir." Hannah answered simply.

"Alright, just remember that. I know that it doesn't seem like it, but I do love you and your brother and sisters. More then you will ever know and that didn't stop when I left, even if I acted like it." Mike said. He dropped his arm and Hannah simply nodded at him and walked away. He hoped they could repair their relationship before something happened to her. He would be absolutely destroyed if they didn't.


	26. Chapter 26

**What If**

Chapter 26

As Mike got ready for bed that night, he was still trying to figure out what it was about Christine that had driven him away. She was completely oblivious to what he was doing. He was racking his brain trying to figure it out. She was still a beautiful woman and while her personality had changed, it wasn't a bad change. He just didn't like how broken she was.

"What's on your mind?" Christine said as she applied lotion to her arms and legs.

"Just thinking." Mike said. He was turning the bed down as she performed her nightly habits. Lotion on her legs and arms, braiding her hair and selecting a book. Every night, she did the same thing.

"Having second thoughts about retirement?" Christine asked.

"No, I'm sure of that." Mike said.

"Staying here?" Christine questioned.

"I need to be here." Mike said simply.

"Is it a matter of needing to be here or wanting to be here, Mike?" Christine responded.

"Both. I need to be here. With Hannah being ill and all; but I also want to be here." Mike said.

"God forbid, Rachel doesn't find a treatment and Hannah dies; the kids are going to need you close and I think you'll need them. Hannah cannot be the only reason you stay." Christine responded as she settled into their bed.

"You say that you think the reason I walked out on you all is because of something with you, but I can't figure it out." Mike admitted.

"I think that night at the hotel, I embarrassed you by making kind of a big deal out of you not being able to perform. Maybe that's part of it. I just haven't figured out what it was about me that turned you off that night." Christine said. She had her book in her lap but hadn't opened it. Mike climbed in next to her and tried to get comfortable.

"I think it was PTSD, nothing you did or how you looked." Mike admitted.

"Did…you ever have any issues with Andrea?" Christine asked awkwardly.

"No, but she was never you. It…was not the same as what I had with you at one time. It was like we knew that it was something we shouldn't have been doing and was not satisfying. Problem being is, since you and I haven't done anything since, I have no idea if it was a one-time thing or not." Mike said. He knew it sounded like an advance and all he could hope for was that it didn't offend Christine.

"True." Christine said as she put her book down on the nightstand and before Mike even realized it, she'd straddled him. "When I do this, I am only seeing what kind of reaction you'll have. More or less, taking you to second base. I am not ready for third base or even a home run. I'm just curious." Christine said as she started kissing him. Mike was surprised but more than happy to return the kisses and run his hands up and down Christine's hips, and up her sides. Things were heating up nicely and Mike was definitely reacting when there was a knock on the door.

"Mom, Hannah is having another nosebleed and I can't get it to stop." Katie said from the other side. Christine groaned and got up.

"Sorry, Mike. Not my intention to end it like this." Christine said.

"I'll be there in a minute. I have to take a cold shower." Mike admitted as he also stood up. Christine just nodded and walked out, focused on Hannah. True to his word, Mike took a fast shower and then walked out to help Christine. By the time he got there, Christine had gotten the bleeding stopped but Hannah was crying in her arms.

"These nosebleeds wear her out. She tends to get sick after and sometimes has a bad headache." Christine said as cuddled Hannah close. Katie walked back in with another ice bag and clean wash rags.

"My eyes hurt." Hannah said. Mike immediately shut the overhead light off and Katie turned the much dimmer bedside lamp on.

"Is this normal?" Mike asked.

"Yeah, with the CF." Christine said. Katie had walked back out and Christine quietly finished. "She's end stages, Mike. This will become much more frequent. I have a book that you need to read so you're prepared." Christine explained.

"I don't want to be prepared. Rachel will figure it out." Mike said as he massaged the back of Hannah's neck. If he didn't read the book and wasn't prepared, maybe it wouldn't happen.

"You need to be prepared in case she doesn't." Christine warned. Mike knew she was right but he wanted to stay optimistic for Hannah.

"Can I sleep with you guys, Mom?" Hannah asked miserably. As much as Mike wanted to continue what Christine had started just a few minutes before, he would never refuse Hannah's request and he knew that Christine wouldn't either.

"Of course, sweetheart." Christine said after a nod from Mike.

"You know what would be really nice? We all sleep in there, like before. Katie is already awake and Dad could carry the twins in." Hannah asked. Christine nodded at Mike and he left the bedroom to move the twins into his own bed. Katie had heard the exchange and went into Mike and Christine's bedroom to get the bed ready. Mike picked up Molleigh and carried her in and then carried Patrick in. Thankfully, they both slept through the move and Katie laid down on Mike's side of the bed.

"It's getting bad, isn't it?" Katie asked. Christine had told her about the Cystic Fibrosis diagnosis but not the severity. Mike could not lie to Katie. He had lied to and betrayed his family enough.

"Yeah, sweetie. Its bad. Right now, if Hannah asks for something so simple, Mom and I are going to have a hard time refusing it." Mike told her just before Christine and Hannah walked in. Hannah got into the bed next to Molleigh, with Christine on her other side, and Mike teetering at the edge of the bed. He wouldn't be getting much sleep that night, but not for the reason he had originally thought.

The next morning, Christine called Rachel, who was performing another trial with little success. The twins had been sent to school, Mary was in her room and Katie had gone to class. Hannah, completely weak; stayed on the couch; not even wanting to go outside. About two, after Mike had to carry her to the bathroom and Christine had to assist her, Christine pulled Mike into the office.

"Its time. I'm going to make a list for you to go to the medical supply store and I'm going to call Hospice. She's given up." Christine said calmly.

"Are you sure? Rachel might…" Mike started.

"I don't think there's enough time. Clinical trials are hard and even if this last one is successful; it doesn't mean that it will work on Hannah. She will be the first human to receive it. Don't pin your hope on it." Christine said.

"So, what does this look like?" Mike asked.

"Hospice will bring in a hospital bed, oxygen and a commode. We will set it up…I don't know if upstairs or downstairs is better. Anyway, you'll go to the medical store and get adult sized diapers; smallest size, and pads to put under her. I also am going to have you get some hospital like gowns. It will make things easier for me." Christine explained, very clinically. She had detached herself, something Mike couldn't do.

"How long?" Mike asked.

"It could be days or weeks. I don't know. I do want you to read that book but I will tell you, what you are going to witness with Hannah will be hard and painful. The CF will cause her to basically smother on her own mucus. If she is lucky, she'll slip into a coma before it gets bad." Christine said.

"What do we tell the other kids? Katie knows that it is getting bad but doesn't know the extent and I don't know how to explain this to the twins." Mike asked.

"The twins will instinctively know that Hannah is failing but she doesn't want them to know. Katie is figuring it out." Christine said.

"You seem…detached?" Mike remarked.

"I…have to be. I don't want to be but if I fall apart now, Hannah won't get the care she needs and deserves." Christine said sadly.

"Alright, considering everything and all the time I've missed with her, I don't have a right to say this; but I will anyway. Yes, she needs a caretaker, but she will also really need her mom. Please don't forget that." Mike said as he pulled Christine into a hug.

"I won't. I'll write that list out and call Hospice." Christine said as she pulled away. As usual, Mike was amazed by her strength.

"How soon until they deliver everything?" Mike asked.

"Probably later today. I already have the orders for equipment in place. I was just wanting to be her nurse." Christine admitted.

"I…it sounds stupid, but I want to put the bed together. I have put every bed together that she has slept in, aside from the one she's in now. I need to do this." Mike said.

"And I'll make it." Christine said. From the first bassinet, to the crib, to the toddler bed and finally to their kid's big beds, Mike put them together while Christine made it the first time. Mike would make sure every nut, bolt and screw was tightened and Christine would make sure there was no wrinkles in the bedding. Mary would contribute an afghan and even on her deathbed, Hannah would be surrounded by acts of love.

They both walked out of the office and Christine sat down and wrote out the list of needed items. Hannah was resting on the couch under Mary's watchful eye. Mike was handed the list and drove to a nearby medical supply store. As he walked in, it occurred to him; he'd missed Hannah's last birthday. He should have been buying her a present but instead was buying supplies needed to make his baby girl's passing a bit easier. He found the items easily and as he paid for them; his cellphone rang. It was Tom. He signed the receipt, grabbed the many bags and answered his phone.

 _"Hey, what's up?" Tom asked in a cheery tone. Mike thought about responding in kind but he just couldn't._

 _"Just buying Hannah adult diapers. She's taken a turn. Christine is calling Hospice in as we speak." Mike answered._

 _"Oh, Jeez. So, no luck with Rachel?" Tom asked._

 _"No. She's in another trial but the last killed the mice. Chris thinks that Hannah is giving up. I'm afraid now that she's seeing all this equipment; it will get worse." Mike said._

 _"Well, remember the trial on the James. We had all but given up hope and she come up with something in the eleventh hour." Tom encouraged._

 _"I know but Hannah may not last that long and besides, even if she does, Hannah maybe too far gone. Its not like Rachel will be able to cure the disease. She'll just have a treatment." Mike said._

 _"Hey, I understand…well, no I don't but Hannah doesn't need to hear this discouraging attitude. If she sees that you and Christine are discouraged, it won't be good. You know that." Tom chastised._

 _"You're right. So, I missed her last birthday. Should I buy her something besides adult diapers and hospital gowns? Why'd you call anyways?" Mike asked._

 _"Yes, some piece of jewelry. And I called about the way for paying. I was offered a book deal. I don't want to write a book about the James but the editor said he would have called you next. I also know you aren't exactly in the President's good graces right now so I hoodwinked him into giving permission for you to write a book. They think it is a for sure best seller, so they will front you $500,000 and once it's written and published, you will receive the next installment. Another $500,000. I agreed to write a forward and you have a year. I did explain that at the moment, you are preoccupied and the editor understands. I can get you all the information." Tom explained. Mike was completely bawled over._

 _"You are passing up a million dollars for me?" Mike asked._

 _"Not just for you, you pompous ass. For Hannah. And for Christine and the kids. If she doesn't make it through this, you need to have something to focus on." Tom told him._

 _"I don't know what to say…" Mike started._

 _"So, just shut up, find a jewelry store, buy your daughter a locket and act like you have an ounce of hope. Fake it 'til you make it." Tom ordered._

 _"You do realize you are not my commanding officer anymore?" Mike teased._

 _"Yep, but if you don't follow my orders, I'll call Christine. We all know, all along, she's been the only one you'd ever listen to." Tom said._

 _"Aye, aye." Mike answered._

 _"I'll drop everything by tonight." Tom answered before hanging up. All Mike could do was do exactly what Tom had ordered. He found a jewelry store and bought a pretty locket to take home with him._


	27. Chapter 27

**What If**

Chapter 27

Mike was not prepared for how quickly things would happen with Hannah. They had decided to move her hospital bed into the office that Christine rarely used. Somehow, Christine came up with a day bed that was also moved in, so Christine could sleep in there. Mike suspected that she would end up in the hospital bed with their daughter. He was able to put both beds together and Christine made the hospital bed up with Hannah's favorite sheets, blankets and pillows. Mary had contributed an afghan and Katie had decorated the room with family pictures and figurines. She didn't want the room to seem medicinal.

Mike and Christine had both hoped it would be a few days or weeks before Hannah moved herself into the room, but she ended up moving in automatically. Thankfully, she didn't start wearing the adult diapers or hospital gowns immediately. She loved the locket Mike had given her and had him fasten it for her. Mike went up to get Christine's pillow, nightgown, lotion and book and when he got to bottom of the stairs, he heard a conversation that broke his heart, even more so.

"Mom, when you guys bury me; can I be wearing this necklace?" Hannah asked Christine.

"Sure. Anything else?" Christine asked. Mike couldn't understand how she was so clinical about everything.

"I don't know but could I have some sort of notebook to write in?" Hannah asked.

"Of course. I'll have your dad pick one up in the morning." Christine assured her.

"He isn't handling this too good, is he?" Hannah asked.

"No. He has a lot of regrets and I should have told him about you sooner. Found a way. He also is having trouble giving up hope. Hannah, your dad has been surrounded by death his entire life. He's had a really hard life and even though he left, he always loved you. I don't doubt that in the least." Christine explained.

"Grandma says that he's had too much pain in his life. I don't get it. You and she talk about God and I believe in God and all but why would He do that to a person? Dad is basically a really good person. He helps people. Why would God make him lose another person?" Hannah asked.

"I don't know, sweetie. It isn't fair." Christine remarked. Mike decided to step in so he didn't overhear anything more. He carried in Christine's items and sat them on the day bed.

"I assumed you would be sleeping down here tonight?" Mike asked Christine. She was finishing braiding Hannah's hair for her.

"Yeah, probably best." Christine said.

"I'm going to go to the bathroom. Hannah said before stepping into the hallway to use the powder room.

"How are you doing with all this?" Christine asked as she got Hannah's bed ready.

"I thought we'd have more time." Mike commented. He sat down on the day bed and picked at his nails.

"She isn't completely ready to go but she's preparing." Christine said.

"I wish she would stop." Mike said. Christine sat down next to him and squeezed his hand.

"It is part of it. She's at peace other then she's really worried about you. So, I saw Tom come in and hand you that packet of papers. I assume that was what you were planning on to take care of the costs?" Christine asked. He hadn't had a chance to tell her about the book.

"Yeah, so Tom had been offered a book deal. He refused it and gave it to me. He didn't want to write it anyway. It pays half a million up front and another half million upon publication. I have a year. I don't know how I'm going to do this. I'm not a writer." Mike admitted.

"Mike, Mom wrote for the newspaper. It was one of her side jobs when I was growing up. Just little articles but she loved it. I'm sure she would help you. You know she is big on grammar and spelling." Christine suggested.

"I didn't know that. You okay with this?" Mike asked.

"Yeah. Better then selling your body and I think it will be cathartic to put it on paper for you. Kind of a therapy." Christine commented.

"I don't even know how to start." Mike remarked.

"One page at a time. One memory at a time. Hannah is wanting a notebook, I guess to journal in. Why don't you either get yourself one, or a laptop? I find that if I handwrite things, it flows better and then they can be transcribed." Christine suggested.

"That's a thought." Mike said, just as Hannah came back in.

"I'm getting really sleepy." Hannah commented. She sat down on the hospital bed, obviously ready for bed.

"That's my cue." Mike said as he stood up. He leaned down and gave Hannah a kiss on the forehead. They hadn't really repaired anything about their relationship. It had just been kind of swept under the rug.

"Night, Daddy." Hannah said as she positioned herself under the blankets. Mike pulled the blankets back up and more or less tucked Hannah in, something he hadn't done in years.

"Good night, sweetie. I love you." Mike told her.

"I love you too." Hannah said.

"I'm going to step out for a second, Hannah. Go ahead and go to sleep." Christine said as she followed Mike out of the office. She had her nightgown in hand, planning on getting ready for bed. They stepped into the living room and Christine pulled Mike down with her to sit on the couch. "Mike, about last night; I…went into what I was doing with you thinking that I was not going to go far. It went further, faster then I anticipated; but now with Hannah,, I think you agree with me that we need to concentrate on her, which means that what I started last night, has to be put on the back burner and depending on how things go with Hannah, neither of us may feel like doing anything for a while. I am sorry." Christine said.

"If Hannah hadn't had her nosebleed, what would have happened?" Mike asked.

"I don't know. Like I said, it went further and faster than I planned but I don't know if I am ready for third base yet and I'm not sure you are either." Christine said.

"I wish we could figure this out but as you said, we need to concentrate on Hannah and the other kids too." Mike commented.

"There will come a point. I really do think that if you put it in writing, it'll help. Just be honest. The good, the bad and the ugly." Christine said.

"Bringing the cure home or everything?" Mike asked. Christine leaned over and kissed Mike's cheek and squeezed his hand.

"All of it. We'd both better get to bed. The next little while is going to be rough and we need to rest when we can." Christine suggested.

"Yeah. You'll holler if you need me?" Mike asked.

"Absolutely. Good night, Mike." Christine said as they both stood up. She started to walk away but Mike got her hand and pulled her back into a hug.

"Can I still do that?" Mike asked into her hair.

"You'd better." Christine said as she leaned up and landed a kiss on his chin. He considered leaning down further and kissing her on the lips but she pulled away. "Mike, I'm scared if we start, it'll be like last night and we won't be able to stop." Christine said.

"Would that be the worse thing?" Mike asked.

"No, but not with Hannah being so ill. We just can't." Christine said. She walked away and shut the door of the powder room. Mike knew the discussion was over for the time being. He stuck his head into Hannah's make-shift bedroom and saw that she was sleeping and breathing well enough and then walked upstairs. He looked in on the twins and Katie before walking into his and Christine's bedroom.

While he understood Christine's reasons for staying downstairs with Hannah, the room and bed felt terribly lonely to him. Was it how it felt all those nights that Christine had been alone? He couldn't even say that he had been alone when he deployed because Andrea had been there and either he snuck into her cabin or she snuck into his. Their affair was not the best kept secret but because of his position, no one would say a word. Meanwhile, his wife of over twenty years and mother to his five kids had been alone every night, dealing with the fact that her husband was publicly shaming her, a mother with declining health and a second child dying. It made Mike hate himself even more.


	28. Chapter 28

This is pretty emotional so please be prepared. Also, I do not have a medical degree so keep that in mind. It is fanfic so if I want to create a treatment or cure for a disease I can!

 **What If**

Chapter 28

As the week wore on, Hannah become weaker. By Friday, she was on oxygen around the clock and seemed to be in pain. For Mike, it was agonizing to watch and for Christine, she handled everything in a clinical manner. Mike knew she would crack at some point but hoped that she would be able to give Hannah the tender, loving care that she would need towards the end.

Rachel was no closer but apparently working twenty-hour days and had enlisted Dr. Milowsky to help her. Mike had even begun to give up hope. If it wasn't for the twins and Katie, he'd have none. The twins didn't understand what was happening to their beloved big sister and Katie was a huge help to Christine. By midweek, Hannah was wearing the adult depends and the hospital gowns.

Early Saturday morning, Hannah slipped into a coma. It was gentle and for a while Mike had thought she was sleeping, except for the fact they couldn't wake her. Christine called Rachel but got no answer. It was not promising. Christine had already exhausted herself but was determined to care for Hannah until the end. Mike didn't want to hurry things but got the feeling that it wouldn't be long.

Mike helped Christine lift and maneuver Hannah, even helping with baths and changing her depends. It hurt his heart to have to do that for his adolescent daughter and Mike could also tell that it bothered Christine but she needed help and Katie was in the middle of her finals. They encouraged her to study and not take a break from school.

Mike felt like they were neglecting the twins and Mary certainly tried to contain them. When Katie was home, she did her best to make sure Mike and Christine had time with Molleigh and Patrick, but they both felt the need to be with Hannah. Mike was shocked when Tom, Sasha, Kara, Danny and Jeter all showed up at the door Saturday evening.

"We knew you would never ask for help but needed it. We'll help with the twins and Mary so you can dedicate all of your time to Hannah." Tom said quietly.

"And we brought food. And groceries." Kara added. Mike nodded, knowing that their fridge and cabinets were bare. Neither he or Christine had wanted to take the time away from Hannah to go to the store and Katie always wanted to rush home to be with her parents and sibling. Mike had been terrified if he left, Hannah would die while he was gone.

"Thank you." Mike said as he held the door open for them. Christine had come to the door of the office with tears in her eyes. It was really the first show of emotion from her. Mike was a little shocked when Tom pulled her into a hug. He had never had a good opinion of Christine but he had set that aside to help Mike and Christine.

"We'll fix dinner. You guys concentrate on Hannah." Sasha ordered. Mike and Christine exchanged a look and choose to just go along with it.

"Thank you all." Christine said simply. She and Mike walked back into the office and Mike took his chair next to Hannah's bedside. Something had changed in the short time they hadn't been at her bedside. She was breathing and Mike could feel her pulse but there was a different look on her face.

"Chris, is there something different about her? Her facial expression seems different." Mike asked. Christine concentrated for a second and then nodded.

"No signs of a stroke. She almost has a smile on her face. Maybe she's having a happy dream? Christine suggested.

"Do you think she knows we are here?" Mike questioned.

"I think so. I remember they always told us that hearing is the last thing to go and so I think she still hears and recognizes our voices. Its okay to talk to her, Mike." Christine instructed.

"I have so much to say. I don't even know how to start." Mike remarked.

"Just start talking, Mike. I can step out." Christine said as she stood up from the day bed and left the room. Mike looked back at Hannah, who was smiling at something. It was not a full-on smile but was close.

"Sweetie, part of me wants you to continue fighting this but I know you're tired and hurting. I am so, so sorry for leaving these past couple years and being gone so much of your childhood. I wish I had been home. I could bargain and plead but it wouldn't help. I can only promise; I will never miss another moment with Katie or the twins. I will be a better husband. I love you so much, sweet pea. Way more then you ever thought." Mike whispered as he held Hannah's hand. He kissed it and then leaned down and kissed her cheek. It felt too much like a goodbye. Christine came back in with tears in her eyes but she had a game face on.

"We should turn her. I don't want her getting any bed sores." Christine said. She turned Hannah every two hours and Mike hated it. It was while they turned her, that Hannah exhibited signs of pain. Christine told Mike that it was good that Hannah was still responding to pain, but Mike still hated it.

"Towards me or you?" Mike asked. Christine had walked around to the other side of the bed and lowered the rail.

"Me, which means if she's wet, you'll need to clean her. Do you want to switch sides?" Christine asked. She knew Mike was not thrilled with having to take care of Hannah's personal needs.

"Yeah. I understand the need but I hate this." Mike said as he and Christine alternated sides and Christine got the needed supplies.

"I know." Christine said as she went to work cleaning Hannah's front. Mike looked away, not wanting to see. As soon as she finished, Mike gently rolled Hannah over and tried his best to ignore the groaning sound Hannah made.

"Do you think she is hungry or thirsty?" Mike asked. Hannah hadn't eaten or drank since late Friday. It had been almost twenty-four hours.

"She isn't registering hunger. I am going to sponge some water on her lips to keep them from drying out. She may swallow some but I have to be careful so she doesn't choke." Christine explained. Mike was holding Hannah on her side while Christine cleaned her backside.

"Do you need some time with her?" Mike asked.

"Maybe." Christine said after she finished up and positioned a pillow so Hannah wouldn't roll back.

"I'll step out." Mike said. He walked around the bed and gave Christine a kiss on the top of the head and then walked out. He knew Christine had stayed in the hallway while he talked to Hannah, but he wanted to give her privacy. He also knew they needed to give Katie some time with her. He just wasn't sure about the twins. They were so young.

A couple minutes later, Christine opened the door for Mike to come back in. Her eyes were reddened and she had tears on her cheek but had put her game face on. Mike had his regrets that he was hurting from but Christine had always been a good mom. She had barely been away from her kids. Once Hannah died, Mike knew that Christine would buckle. Hannah's breathing had changed again and seemed to be more troubled.

"I'm going to call Katie. She needs to get home." Christine remarked.

"Is something going on?" Mike asked.

"She's going. Let's roll her back." Christine said.

"I'll roll, you call Katie." Mike said. She nodded and grabbed her phone as Mike gently rolled Hannah onto her back. The breathing got a little louder and Christine hung up.

"She's five out." Christine said.

"Should we get the twins or your mom?" Mike asked.

"Yes." Christine said. Mike walked to the door and seen Tom pass by.

"Can you get the twins and Mary in here? It won't be long." Mike said. Tom nodded and walked back into the living area. Within a few moments, Mary and the twins made their way in. The twins didn't understand what was happening but both gave their sister a kiss on the cheek and whispered, 'I love you' in her ear.' Mike sat them both back on the floor and watched as they ran back into the hallway to Tom. He then helped Mary stand. Christine had a look of pure misery on her face. Mary said what she needed to and kissed Hannah on the forehead. Mike sat her back down in her wheelchair and helped her wheel back to the hallway. Just as Mike thought he and Christine would be alone, Katie came through the door.

As Katie said what she needed to, Mike pulled Christine to him. He could feel her sobbing into his chest and knew she had finally cracked. Katie took a little longer, but finally Mike and Christine were alone with Hannah. Outside, the birds were chirping and Mike could hear Christine's windchimes on the front porch, but the sound of Hannah's breathing overshadowed everything. They both knelt next to the bed and just waited. They were so in tune to what was happening that they didn't hear the front door opening and closing even thought they were right off the front door. It wasn't until Rachel, Dr. Milowsky and another doctor that Mike didn't recognize rushed in that he and Christine stood up. Hannah was still breathing, but barely.

"I need to give her this shot and then she needs to breath this in. Its like a breathing treatment." Rachel explained and Mike nodded, giving consent. He wasn't sure it would do any good at this point.

"It might be too late." Christine said. As Rachel gave the shot, Dr. Milowsky and the other doctor put a mask over Hannah's mouth and nose and some sort of contraption began steaming, much like a nebulizer.

"She's still inhaling and exhaling, so no." Rachel said. Mike could tell by the rise and fall in Hannah's chest that she was breathing, but the weird breathing sounds were masked by the nebulizer equipment.

"How long until we know something?" Mike asked.

"I'm not sure. In the mice, they showed improvement within less then an hour. This hasn't been tested on a human." Rachel explained.

"Her pulse ox was 78%, now its 82%." Dr. Milowsky said.

"Pulse is becoming steadier too." The other doctor said.

"It's a waiting game. You both sit." Rachel said as she pushed both Mike and Christine towards the daybed. Mike could see her evil eyeing him but at that point he didn't care. He could hear Tex talking to Tom and the kids from the next room but he wasn't prepared to leave the room and neither was Christine.


	29. Chapter 29

Some sexual innuendo but nothing enough to change the rating.

 **What If**

Chapter 29

Slowly but steadily, Hannah's vitals got better and a full twelve hours after Rachel had given her the treatment, Hannah woke up. She was weak and very tired but alert. Christine still had to change her depends and bathe her but she ate her grandma's chicken soup with Mike's help. She was regaining strength and the best part was that the specialist could hear no excess mucus in her lungs.

Once Mike and Christine were certain that Hannah was on the mend, they realized how exhausted they were. They hadn't slept well all week and Hannah was insistent they go upstairs and get some rest. Christine gave Sasha and Kara a brief tutorial on how to change Hannah's depends and clean her if necessary. Rachel was also there and was more than willing to care for her young patient. Katie was caring for the twins and Mike and Christine knew that Hannah wouldn't properly rest until they had both rested.

Mike could have fallen into bed and asleep immediately but he needed a shower and so did Christine. So, he shaved while she showered and then they traded off. Mike remembered a time in his marriage when they would have just showered at the same time and Christine wouldn't have been so deliberate about covering herself with a towel before stepping out. She dried her hair, braided it and changed into a nightgown while he was showering.

By the time they made it to bed, they were too tired to even talk. Christine tossed and turned for a few minutes before Mike pulled her onto his chest, knowing she'd settle. Despite it being midday, the kids were being quiet and they could hear their company's voices from downstairs. They had all promised to wake Mike and Christine up if anything changed.

"I think I am so tired I can't sleep." Mike commented, knowing Christine was awake. She fidgeted with his hand and played with his chest hair.

"Me too." Christine said.

"Short of a sleeping pill, is there anything we can do to get sleep?" Mike asked. He heard Christine chuckle into his chest and he looked down at her.

"Remember when you and I both worked night shift, before we had Katie? How we decompressed?" Christine asked. Mike thought for a moment and then smiled. To decompress, they made love; pretty much every morning. It had worked great until a big brown-eyed baby girl entered their world. Sleep become a thing of the past. Surely, Christine wasn't suggesting that?

"I do. Really nice memories but I doubt you are game for that." Mike remarked. He was shocked when Christine propped herself up on her hand and her other hand crept under the sheet.

"I am getting tired of beating around the bush where this is concerned. I don't mean to be cruel, but Andrea is dead and gone. Maybe I'm tired and my nerves are shot but I am definitely game for that." Christine said very quietly as her right hand worked its way into his boxers, and suddenly Mike couldn't think straight.

"I…just don't want you to have any regrets later. Oh, I forgot how good you were at this. I wanted it to be more special." Mike said between gasps.

"This is and I can't imagine having any regrets. Can you lift up for me?" Christine asked and Mike immediately complied. He could feel her sliding his boxers down his legs and toss them off the bed. The entire time, her hand was at work.

"Would you take the nightgown off for me?" Mike asked. He noticed the scared look on Christine's face but she nodded.

"Hope it doesn't cause a negative reaction." Christine said as she straddled him and pulled her nightgown off her. All Mike could do was groan in appreciation and use his superior body strength to roll her onto her back.

"Are you absolutely sure?" Mike asked.

"Yes." Christine said and Mike nodded.

An hour later, Mike looked down at his sleeping wife. He was exhausted too but wanted to make sure she was sleeping before he fell asleep. She had been right about several things; his past inability to perform had been a one-time problem, and it did help to decompress. He just hoped that it wasn't stressed induced. They had gone from believing that their daughter was about to die to believing she might be cured of a lifelong, debilitating disease. Mike knew his emotions were all over the map and he couldn't imagine being in Christine's position. She had spent pretty much every day with Hannah and had nurtured her through her illness. It worried him that she would regret what they had just done later.

Mike finally fell asleep after completely psyching himself out. He had all but convinced himself that it was a one-off to realize tension and that things would be even more awkward. Yes, the sex was amazing and Mike felt better but maybe they should have waited.

Mike and Christine both slept until about nine o'clock and woke up starving. Nothing else was said about what they done. They quickly cleaned up and headed downstairs, wanting to check on Hannah. As they walked down the stairs, they heard her voice talking to Katie. It was what they needed.

Hannah was sitting up in bed, didn't have oxygen on, and her coloring was nearly perfect. Christine wouldn't be happy until she had checked Hannah's vitals herself. Rachel stood in the background, patiently waiting for Christine's assessment.

"Her pulse ox is perfect, even on room air." Christine exclaimed.

"Yes, and it's held steady." Rachel answered.

"Any neural deficits due to the lack of oxygen?" Christine asked.

"No, not that I've noticed. And she also walked herself to the bathroom a little bit ago." Rachel informed them.

"I wanted out of those diapers!" Hannah said. Mike had to smile at her personality shining through. "When can I get out of this bed and go back upstairs?" Hannah asked.

"Let's give it a day or so." Christine told her.

"So, what are we looking at, Doc?" Mike asked. Even though Rachel was Christine's best friend, Mike was still uncomfortable with her and he also knew that Rachel was protective of Christine and Mike had hurt Christine deeply.

"Well, it wasn't enough to come up with a treatment that she would have to take every day. This is a cure. I may repeat the dose tomorrow just to be sure, and we do need to x-ray her lungs to make sure there is no mucus build up, but I think this will do it." Rachel told him.

"I feel better." Hannah said. Christine was still assessing her but Mike bent down and kissed the top of her head.

"And we are thrilled about that." Christine said with a smile. Mike could tell she was being cautiously optimistic.

"Katie gave me ice cream. Strawberry!" Hannah said, obviously thrilled with the treat. Mike smiled down at her and tucked her hair behind her ear.

"And she ate another bowl of soup after you went upstairs." Rachel informed them.

"Appetite returning is good. She hadn't eaten good all week." Christine remarked.

"And maybe Dad's pancakes in the morning?" Hannah begged, knowing Mike wouldn't refuse her anything.

"You bet." Mike told her.

"Alright, let's get you ready for bed." Christine said, indicating for Mike to leave. It would embarrass Hannah if she ever found out some of the things Mike had had to do when she slipped into her coma. She didn't need him helping Christine now that she was awake.

"I'll be back in before you go to sleep." Mike told Hannah before he and Rachel stepped out. Katie had taken the twins upstairs to get ready for bed and the other two couples and Tex were outside. Mike wondered about what to say to Rachel. "Christine and I are very appreciative of what you've done. Thank you doesn't seem to be enough." Mike started, struggling for words.

"I'm just curious about you. You are gone for months at a time. Cheat on your wife who completely adores you, walk out on your kids and then reappear? I didn't do this for you, I did it for Hannah and Christine. I have no doubt that you will get bored again and disappear. I just don't think Christine will be able to take you back. I certainly encouraged her to divorce you and take you for all that you're worth. Christine just didn't want to hurt you. She's a better person then all of us." Rachel said.

"I'm not going anywhere." Mike said simply. He knew better then to disagree with Rachel.

"You've said that before and you've also said you'd never cheat. You did both. And Christine will spend the rest of her life thinking she did something wrong or wasn't good enough. I don't think you fully understand the magnitude of what you did. Christine has watched her mother be alone for years and didn't want to be alone. She figured since you rejected her, she was not going to be accepted by any other man. And that appears to be why she has taken you back. She's scared to be alone and so in her mind, you are her only option." Rachel preached at Mike. He was beginning to get defensive.

"Our marriage is our business." Mike said simply, still not wanting to argue.

"True. But it isn't only your marriage. You stepped out on your kids too. Because of you doing that, you have given your girls an image of what they can expect from a man and given your son a bad example. You missed Katie's graduation. You weren't here when Hannah needed you. When you were around, you complained about how they acted, the money Christine spent even though she pinches every penny and was just not interested. You not only communicated to your wife that she wasn't good enough, but also to your kids. I don't know if you can ever make up for that." Rachel continued.

"I love my wife and kids." Mike answered. He didn't want to cause a scene and especially not with Rachel, given that he was indebted to her for saving Hannah's life.

"I don't doubt that but I think your definition of love needs work. Christine thinks it's because of your childhood. The thing is, your kids don't know about your childhood. I understand your reasoning for not telling them, but maybe it's time they knew. Until they understand your reasoning, this will always be between you and them." Rachel said before walking out into the backyard. She had made a few points. Maybe Mike really didn't know how to love. He had a lot of people in his life that he thought he loved, but maybe he didn't know how to act it out. The problem was, he didn't know how to figure it out.

He walked into Hannah's makeshift bedroom and immediately smiled at the bright smile Hannah gave him. Christine had her in a fresh pair of pajamas and had braided her hair. She was sitting up in chair as Christine took her vitals for the umpteenth time.

"Everything okay?" Mike asked.

"Yeah. She wants to sleep upstairs and it would be better if she was close. Could you get our bedroom ready? I want her in with us." Christine asked and then winked at Mike. He knew she meant to clean their bedroom up, change the sheets and make the bed so it wasn't immediately obvious what they had been doing upstairs when they should have been sleeping.

"Sure thing. I'll come back down when I get done and help her up the stairs." Mike said and Christine nodded. Mike ran up the stairs, checked on his sleeping twins and Katie was studying. He knew Rachel was planning on staying the night but wasn't sure about the other two couples. Mike made sure that Hannah's room was ready for a guest and then walked into his own bedroom, which was a disaster.

Mike changed the sheets and made the bed, putting a pillow in the middle for Hannah, cleaned the clothes up off the floor and straightened things. He wanted to talk to Christine about Rachel's observations but now all that really mattered was Hannah's recovery. In twenty-four hours, they had gone from losing her to having her back. All Mike could hope for was that Christine and him having sex hadn't been a knee-jerk reaction to a very emotional situation. If it was, he wasn't sure what to do.

 **I am clearly wrapping this up! Maybe 1-2 more chapters.**


	30. Chapter 30

**What If**

Chapter 30

Hannah made steady leaps forward. In the week that had passed since her recovery, she had been x-rayed, poked and prodded. She was being termed a miracle, thanks to Doctor Scott. Mike and Christine had accompanied her to her appointment with her specialist in Kansas City. It gave them some one-on-one time with Hannah.

Mike had began working on the book. It had shocked him how easily the words flowed onto the paper and Christine had began transcribing and editing. They hadn't talked anymore about the evening that Hannah had made her recovery and what they did when they should have been resting.

He had also spent some time with Katie and the twins. For the past couple years, Mike had not been a present father. He had no good excuse for it. The twins were so young they thought it was the norm, but Katie and Hannah were just waiting for Mike to leave again, despite reassurances that he was home for good. He didn't know how to repair the relationships. Rachel had been right about a lot, mostly that while Mike loved his wife and kids, he didn't really know how to love. The first night they had a kid-free bed, Mike looked over at Christine, who was applying lotion to her arms and legs while Mike turned their bed down.

"Can I ask you a question?" Mike asked.

"Of course." Christine said with a smile. They climbed into the bed and Christine sat in such a way as to face him.

"Rachel pointed something out the night she cured Hannah. She said that she knows that I love you and the kids, but she doesn't think I know how to love. Attributed it to my childhood and thought I should explain all that to the kids. I have never wanted to burden them with it. Do you think she was correct?" Mike asked.

"Yes and no. Mike, you show us how you love us on a daily basis. Providing for us, making sure we're safe and don't need or want for anything. You handle the basics of being a husband and father very well. It's being a lover and daddy you have issues with. This past week, you've done wonderfully. You've been attentive to the kids. You've spent a lot of time with each of them and made them feel like they are valuable parts of your life. Now, you need to follow through. When I say that, I mean that it needs to be constant. Mike, you are an amazing daddy when you want to be. I say that as someone who didn't have one and knowing that aside from your adopted dad, you had no example." Christine stated.

"And you?" Mike asked, almost afraid of her answer.

"You are an amazing husband. I remember when I worked in the ER. Women would come in, beat all to pieces by their husbands or partners. I never worried about that with you, and for many years; never worried about you cheating. When you were home, you were a hundred percent home. Something happened, though. I don't even know what. You had to morph into this person who was expected to save the world, while your family went on the back burner. We knew what you were doing and were fine with it. We are proud of you." Christine explained.

"I haven't even figured out what happened." Mike admitted.

"You got bored with me and the kids. Coming home to mowing the yard and cleaning the pool. The mundane. The same woman that you had been married to for twenty years and had sex with for the same amount of years. Things become mechanical, even though we hadn't had sex since that night at the hotel room. It happens to a lot of men. My concern is, it'll happen again." Christine said.

"I wish I could tell you differently. So how can we keep it from happening again?" Mike asked.

"I don't know." Christine said.

"We haven't talked about what happened last week. I was afraid that you would end up regretting it. That it was a knee-jerk reaction to almost losing Hannah." Mike mentioned. It had been on his mind all week.

"Do you regret it?" Christine asked.

"No. To me, it felt like we were having an emotional reaction. I had wanted it to be a lot more special." Mike stated.

"I think to a point; we were having a reaction. I can't say that I didn't enjoy the reaction though. It felt great." Christine admitted.

"It did but you didn't…I don't know. I figured that you wouldn't be able to get past Andrea. When I married you, I vowed to be faithful and failed at that. I guess I think, you shouldn't just give me a free pass for that." Mike admitted.

"What would you have me do?" Christine asked.

"I have no idea. I am expecting anger and frustration. Instead I get tears and acceptance. I know I hurt you deeply, but your reaction was different then what I expected." Mike said.

"I am angry and frustrated but I am also very hurt by your actions. Its just that my love for you trumps all that. The reason that I encouraged having sex with you last week was because I had missed that. Missed the way you kiss me and touch me. Mike, you are the only man I have ever been with. You are the only man I ever want to be with. I just need you to decide that I am the only woman you want to be with." Christine said.

"I…had missed that too. I've told you this, but with Andrea, it just didn't feel the same way. Mechanical. Maybe we were clinging each other out of a mutual need and understanding. Her marriage to Bill was not all that strong. I don't know. I can tell you; she was the only time I have ever stepped out on you and I have no plans of doing that again with anybody. I just wish I could figure out a way to convince you of that." Mike explained.

"Don't make excuses for what you did. Mike, it happened. At the time, you didn't know it was Andrea's last months; but hindsight tells you now that it was. Even if it was mechanical and not good; I am glad you gave her some happiness in her final months. I would rather you not regret that. The past is in the past. All we can do now is move forward." Christine said.

"You mentioned earlier that I needed to be a better lover. Did you mean sex or something else?" Mike asked. He knew that it sounded terribly shallow and Christine had stifled a yawn, telling him she was getting tired.

"There is a lot more to a relationship then sex. If I was to only base you on your sexual performance, I don't have anyone to compare you to, but I would have to say you're amazing. But, having said that, part of being a lover, in my opinion; is making sure my coffee is made in the morning, giving me foot rubs and back massages, bringing me flowers randomly, and a candy bar from the grocery store. Lately, you've been good with that. Just need to be consistent." Christine explained.

"I fell down in that area before." Mike admitted.

"You did. And there have been times that I haven't been an idea wife for you. Marriage is give and take. It isn't only about raising kids, paying bills and having sex a time or two a week. Its about the mundane." Christine said.

"I've been taking a lot lately and not giving much." Mike said.

"It ebbs and flows." Christine said as she scooted down in the bed.

"Do you think I should tell the kids?" Mike asked.

"Katie and Hannah, yes. The twins are too young and I don't want them exposed to that story just yet. In time, yes, they should know." Christine said with a yawn.

"I'm dreading telling them." Mike said as he scooted down and pulled Christine close.

"I think it is necessary. Mike, those girls adore you. They need to forgive you and I think knowing your story will help them. They lost their innocence during the Red Flu, so I would prefer if we can maintain the twin's innocence a little longer." Christine said.

"I'm fine with that." Mike said.

"Good. Now, I am exhausted. I want to sleep. Katie is on break this week, and I was hoping that you and I could go out for dinner or really any meal, now that we know that Hannah is on the mend." Christine suggested.

"Sure." Mike agreed. A thought dawned on him, but he would need Katie's help. He wanted to take Christine out for the night. Dinner, dancing, a hotel room and pampering his amazing wife. He would also involve Hannah in the planning.

"Good. I'm going to sleep. Love you." Christine said as she gave him a kiss.

"I love you too." Mike said.


	31. Chapter 31

**What If**

Chapter 31

Mike wasn't sure how wise of an idea it was to allow Katie, Hannah and Mary loose with his credit card and with plans for his night out with Christine. He had never had an itinerary for a date and would probably not adhere to it, but he would humor Katie, given the amount of time she had put into it. Hannah also had done some planning and took great joy in picking out a new dress for Christine, along with a new dress shirt and tie for Mike.

Mike had finally clued in Christine on the plans so she could prepare herself for being away from the kids. It was not something she had done a lot and not at all since Hannah had been ill. She had some reservations but agreed that she and Mike both needed a night away. Mike was still struggling with telling his older kids about his childhood. He had always wanted to shelter them from what he had been through. Wednesday afternoon, Christine had taken Mary to a doctor's appointment, and Mike was watching Hannah and the twins in the pool. Katie was sitting on the patio reading a medical journal.

"You're on break. All work and no play will make Katie a very dull girl." Mike teased. Katie had always been a good student and was extremely serious.

"I know. Just reading this article and then I'll go swim." Katie told him with a smile. She favored Mike more in her looks but had her mom's personality. Hannah was the opposite, she looked like Christine and acted like Mike.

"Okay." Mike said.

"Dad, Mom told Hannah and I that at some point you'd want to talk to us about somethings that had happened to you. Spit it out." Katie said.

"Uh…well, I never really wanted to burden you kids with this but your mom and Rachel seem to think it might be part of the reason I left you guys. I love you guys, so much; but they don't think I know how to love, partly because of my childhood. I never knew my dad and my mom was a druggie. She went from man to man, most of them abusive. Spent time in jail. When I was about ten, she got pregnant again. She got high and went into labor. I ended up calling 911 and the operator talked me through how to deliver the baby. Thankfully, my birth mom and the baby, Jessie was okay. I took care of my little sister and when she was a few months old, her father, my stepfather beat her to death. I witnessed the whole thing. The detectives called Family Services but one of the detectives took me home with him and eventually adopted me. He and his wife, Caroline had a four-year-old little girl named Molly. For the first time in my life, I had a normal childhood. My birth mom had her parental rights terminated and the Slattery's adopted me. I was able to go to school, become active in sports and developed interests. Molly and I were particularly close, mostly because I really missed Jessie. Things were good." Mike started.

"But things fell apart?" Katie asked.

"Yeah, I graduated high school and went to the police academy. I had been a cop for about a year. Patrol. My partner and I got called to a wreck. It was caused by a drunk driver. It was my adoptive parents and Molly. They were all killed instantly, thankfully. Molly was almost decapitated. I buried them and threw myself into my career. I also slept around a far amount more then I should have. Then I met your mom and all that ended. Your mom had certain rules and I wanted her so I adhered to her rules. We got married quick and had you within a year. I…didn't know how to be a parent, but I knew I had to be a good one. I have failed at that. Miserably but please, never doubt that I love you kids. Maybe they are right, as much as I love you, I don't know how." Mike explained. What he didn't realize was that Hannah, Molleigh and Patrick had swum to the edge of the pool and had listened to every word he had said. He had agreed with Christine; they were too young. Molleigh jumped out of the pool and threw her arms around his neck.

"Its okay, Daddy; we'll show you how to love us. You're a good daddy." Molleigh said. Patrick and Hannah had also gotten out of the pool and all four kids began hugging him. They were wet and Mike ended up soaked but he didn't mind in the least. He hugged and kissed each one of them.

"That's right, Daddy. We all love you." Hannah said.

"I love you all too. More then you could ever imagine." Mike told them. He heard Christine's SUV pull in and knew he would have some explaining to do, but for some reason, he felt like a weight had been lifted off his chest. "Your mom didn't want me to tell the twins about this and I agreed so I better explain to her why I did." Mike said.

"We'll tell her we were eaves…what's that word, Katie?" Patrick asked.

"Eavesdropping." Katie said.

"Let me talk to her first." Mike said as he gave each of the kids another kiss and then stood up. As he walked into the house, he watched all four of the kids get in the pool. Christine was in the kitchen and Mary was in the living room. "Everything okay?" Mike asked. Christine looked up at him and smiled, something was different about her hair.

"Yeah. Mom's appointment went good and we went and got our hair done." Christine hinted.

"Right, I knew something was different. I love the curls." Mike said as he rounded the kitchen island and landed a kiss on Christine's lips.

"She also got the gray dyed away." Mary hinted.

"I see that. I love it." Mike said as he gave Christine another kiss. It made her look a lot younger, not that he cared about that.

"You and the kids looked like you were having a moment and your all wet." Christine said.

"Yeah…so, um; I was talking to Katie about my childhood and Hannah and the younger kids overheard. I know and agree that we didn't think the twins needed to know yet, but…it happened." Mike explained.

"How'd they handle it?" Christine asked.

"Pretty well. Molleigh told me that they would teach me how to love them and you saw them all giving me hugs." Mike said.

"Good. My concern was that it would stress them but what's the point in having secrets now? If it worries them or scares them, we'll deal with it. No sweat." Christine said. She wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him again.

"We didn't just get our hair done. While Mom was getting hers done, I stopped at a lingerie store. You'll get to see what I bought Friday night." Christine whispered in his ear.

"I can't wait. It wouldn't hurt my feelings if I got a preview." Mike teased.

"Less than forty-eight hours, you'll live. Do you want to grill the chicken out on the barbeque or do you want it baked?" Christine asked, never missing a beat.

"I'll do it outside. No reason to heat the kitchen up. Can you make macaroni salad?" Mike asked.

"Yeah and I got stuff for Hannah's fruit salad." Christine said.

"That sounds good." Mike said as he fixed the marinade for the chicken. As he put it over the chicken, he smiled out at his kids. It felt good having told them. He was tired of secrets. Secrets become issues that he didn't need.

 **Friday Night**

Mike and Christine had eaten dinner at the restaurant that Katie had found for them. It was a top-notch steak house that Mike enjoyed. Afterwards, he and Christine walked along the riverfront and shared frozen custard. Earlier in the afternoon; they'd had a couple's massage. It wasn't typically Mike's thing, but he enjoyed it more then he thought possible.

They got back to the hotel about nine and Mike knew that Katie hadn't put anything else on their itinerary for the night, not that Mike and Christine would have followed it. All either of them could think about was getting back to the hotel room. As they rode the elevator, Christine was checking her phone.

"Everything okay?" Mike asked.

"Yeah. I texted Katie to make sure everything was okay before we…got busy." Christine said with a grin.

"You sure you're ready for this again?" Mike asked.

"I am. Mike, I've missed you. Even in the last week since Hannah has been doing better. I just want to put all this behind us." Christine said as her phone dinged. She looked at it and smiled.

"You could have just asked. Everything okay?" Mike asked pointing at her phone.

"Patrick and Molleigh want a call before bed and I wanted it to be more special then because we could." Christine said as she punched Katie's number into her cellphone and put it on speaker phone.

 _"How are my favorite twins?" Christine asked as soon as Patrick answered. They could also hear Molleigh's voice as well._

 _"We're good. Hannah and Katie and us are having a slumber party." Molleigh said._

 _"That's good. Make sure you're quiet so Grandma can sleep." Christine warned. Mary would never complain if they weren't quiet._

 _"We will be." Patrick promised._

 _"Alright, Daddy and I will be home after lunch tomorrow. Hannah, are you there? How are you feeling?" Christine asked._

 _"I'm fine, Mom." Hannah said, obviously feeling a bit smothered. If she only understood being away from her caused her parents._

 _"Alright, Katie; you call if there are any issues." Mike ordered._

 _"I will." Katie promised._

 _"We love you kids." Christine said._

 _"We love you both too!" All four kids hollered in unison. Mike was glad the hotel hallway was empty._

 _"Sleep tight." Mike said._

 _"You guys sleep tight too!" Molleigh said. Both Mike and Christine started laughing but they knew Molleigh didn't understand and didn't need too._

 _"See you guys tomorrow and Katie, don't hesitate to call." Christine said._

Christine hung up, just as Mike opened their hotel room. It was a nice room, not that they cared. Mike started kissing Christine. He reached behind her and unzipped her dress.

"Mmm, thanks for getting that. Can you fix the bed?" Christine asked, stopping him.

"Sure. You realize you don't need lingerie?" Mike said.

"I know but I want you to see what I bought." Christine said as she pulled something out of her bag and went to the bathroom. Mike took his tie and suit coat off and fixed the bed. They had a bottle of red wine in the mini-fridge and wine glasses on the table. Mike fixed Christine a glass and waited.

As he waited, he thought back. He was enjoying retirement. Hannah was doing better everyday and he felt better writing his story. He was also spending time with each of his kids and being a more hands on parent. He and Christine were doing well and enjoying each other's company. He was glad he had decided to stay home. Christine finally came out about five minutes later, wearing a lacy, blue nightgown.

"You're amazing." Mike said as he stood up and began kissing her. In that moment, he didn't care about the Navy or retirement; or really anything. As much as he loved his kids, the only person on his mind was Christine. He finally had his priorities straight.

 **Have this one done finally too! Thanks for the reviews.**


End file.
